Have you ever taken the time to watch two young people dance around one another, flirting, looking, waiting, watching, laughing and touching? It’s kind of fun to observe and if you think hard enough you can remember those days in your progression of life. In this decade, he is spending time at the gym buffing up, getting several cool tattoos, finding the latest jeans and attempting to keep up with the latest hair style. She is doing a lot of the same while adding make-up, nail polish and hair highlights. Both are desiring love; both wanting the other’s attention, neither completely sure of how to get it and what to expect. Finding love is expensive, consumes your time and thoughts and most often does not work out (which wastes more time). Today there are numerous on-line dating tools to help, but to many that’s a little like trying to win the million dollar lottery.
Men love the pursuit and women love being the catch. But isn’t love deeper than a flirtatious dance and the change of outward appearances? Once they are engaged or say “I do” and he stops the pursuit, while at the same time she realizes she’s been caught, then what? Then, life – maturing life. Love is laying your life down for this person, sacrificing your own needs. It is not, “Check marriage off my list and now on with my career.” Keeping this woman has nothing to do with tattoos, bigger muscles or cool beards and keeping this man will not relate to the latest shoes and purse combination. Those things become rather shallow when real life decisions and bills come due. She needs you to continue to chase her with a deepening love and an emotional presence. He needs you to continue to respect and affirm him as the provider, the protector and the lover. In the coming weeks, we will talk about this love factor that is needed in a growing and maturing marriage. Meanwhile, read Ephesians 5: 15-33.