Pornography Almost Sent Him to Jail

“My sexual lust was fueled by my viewing pornography,” a friend once confessed to me. That statement provoked more questioning on my part and it’s an interesting, sad and revealing story. He described his pornography habit as helping to create a fantasy world in which he lived in, within his mind anyway.   His conscious and subconscious thoughts would affect his reality on a daily basis. He shared, “Porn provided a subconscious trigger that can lead to far worse situations.” One day he found himself in one of those “situations” and he followed through with a “far worse” fulfillment of his fantasy world.

images-2That one single decision to act upon his fantasy almost landed him in jail as he ended up committing a sexual crime.   Today my friend confesses to me that pornography actually changed his reality, “It changed how I viewed my wife, my co-workers and almost everyone I interacted with on a regular basis; it was such a dishonoring view.” Regular intake of pornography will keep you from relating to the opposite sex in a healthy way. It will distort your reality and it will eventually effect your actions. I love how the writer of Psalm 119 expressed it, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word…I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you…Turn my eyes away from worthless things…”

Pornography, Singles

Pornography, a Road to Self-destruction

images-7A number of years ago I conversed with a man who was $32,000.00 in credit card debt. When I asked him what he had purchased as a young single in order to find himself at that level of debt he replied, “Pornography.” I was stunned. Tens of thousands of dollars spent on an addiction and nothing to show for it besides remorse, regret and shame. Proverbs chapters 5-7 speaks so plainly of the adulterous woman and the man who goes astray with her, however consider the following verses in the light of viewing pornography:

With persuasive words she led him astray: she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping onto a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.

images-2“Many are the victims she has brought down…”  Could those verses be an apt description of a pornography addiction? Under the Law of the Old Covenant, the result of one caught in adultery was death. However under the New Covenant, Jesus was stricter than the Law of Moses. He said that if we look at someone with lust in our heart, we are committing the act of adultery. What if we are held captive by images on a screen…?

Parents, Premarital, Singles

Pornography and Singleness

images-5Pornography will affect your marriage even if you are still single and waiting for your spouse.  If you start viewing pornography, or when you view it, keep in mind that through mental stamping of the brain (that brain wash of chemicals when viewing porn) you will mentally carry many of those images for the rest of your life. While that may seem like a long time and impossible, I can still remember from my pre-teen years some of the images I saw in magazines that I found along the road while leisurely riding my bike on warm summer days.

If you desire a healthy sex life one day with the man or woman who God so generously gives to you, then stay far, far away from pornography today.  By staying away now, you won’t need to confess involvement to the future love of your life. By avoiding the temptation of pornography now, you begin to establish trust in this area with your future life mate.  Your mind will be more free and far more pure from sexual lust.  You will not have to deal with sexual shame.  Your marriage bed can be free of mental comparisons and images that only bring hurt and damage to your future love-making.  You will live in a greater sense of freedom today and in the future.  And, your future spouse will feel so honored that you chose not to bring destructive thoughts and images into your marriage bed.images-7

I love these verses that Paul writes under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit: But since there is so much immortality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each another except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (I Cor. 7: 2-5) Honor God and honor your body for the one that you will one day show honor to.

Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital, Singles

Pursuing Sexual Wholeness in Marriage II

images-6Viewing pornography opens the door of our soul and spirit to spiritual oppression, confusion, hopelessness, hurt, control and domination in evil ways. Women feel betrayed by husbands who use porn – cheated on really. Women feel as though they cannot compete with the images their husbands are viewing. It is an illusion that says women will do anything to please their man while no woman in real life lives within that kind of fantasy world. It brings insecurities to her and can destroy her esteem. She will question her attractiveness and her adequacy as a lover. She can eventually think and believe that porn is more important to her husband than she is to him, an ultimate sexual betrayal.

Men, however, often view pornography as innocent, a fix for loneliness or not having a sexual partner that agrees with his desires. Men rationalize and justify their behavior by attempting to call it the “normal behavior” of a man who is simply visual. However, the act of viewing pornography is highly addictive in which some psychologist state that it is like a crack cocaine addiction. Over time it does not diminish, but tends to intensify. It can interfere in a man’s ability to function at home with his family, at work and of course in the bedroom.

One thing we know from God, His love is completely satisfying. One thing we know from the evil one is that lust is insatiable and can NEVER be satisfied. Pornography and lust are a drive to serve oneself rather than ones life mate or others. To speak very directly and candidly to the casual or the constant viewer: By viewing pornography and by going to their web sites, you are supporting the industry and you are helping it to grow. The porn industry is supplying what you’re looking for.  You are contributing to the sexual exploitation of victims caught in this world. You are adding to the sin of human trafficking. You are saying ‘yes’ to a multi-billion dollar industry that feeds and preys on innocent women, men and children and can even lead to their abduction or death. You are helping to destroy those trapped in this industry, your marriage, your own family and yourself.images-3 Unbelievably, you attempt to excuse it and rationalize it when I Corinthians 6: 13 says, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord…” v. 18 – “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” Ephesians 5: 3 – “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity…”

Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital

Pornography and Pursuing Sexual Wholeness in Your Marriage (part I)

imagesA nationally conducted survey among churches over the past five years revealed that 68% of men and 50% of pastors view pornography regularly (Pure Desire Ministries, 2009). But, the most shocking was that 11-17 year old boys reported being the greatest users. Pornography in our country is a 4 billion dollar industry. More money is spent on pornography than pro baseball, pro basketball, pro football and the Super bowl combined per year. Eleven thousand adult films are produced per year, which is 20 times the number of regular media films coming out of Hollywood. The issue is sweeping through the church and with the present younger generation being exposed and involved, it is epidemic.

As the church today, we tell men and women caught up in this issue that it is solely a moral issue, but studies are showing that it is also a brain issue. So telling men and women to study more, pray more and simply to think pure thoughts is like telling a heroin addict to just stop thinking about and pursuing his drug.  Studies are now indicating that when we are involved in sexual activity the brain releases a chemical called Oxytocin, along with other chemicals, it is the glue to human bonding.  When we watch pornography, powerful neurotransmitters such as dopamine are also released and our brain then takes those images and creates a bond, actually interfering with human bonding and sexuality. Dr. Tim Jennings, a neuropsychologist says that any type of repetitive behavior will create trails in our brain that fire on automatic sequence. So men and women who truly love Jesus with all of their heart can be in sexual bondage from the enemy due to viewing pornography repeatedly.images-3

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do… I Peter 1:13-15

God desires us to bond with our life mate sexually while the enemy desires us to be in bondage to sexually explicit material.  We will continue with this subject in future blogs.