I do not mean for the title of this blog to be controversial or provocative, so, if you are married, do you go to bed together at the end of your day? We are finding more and more couples who do not. Why is this?
The Gottman Institute research has shown that couples tend to stop going to bed together within the first three-and-one half years into marriage and something like 75% of couples do not go to bed at the same time.
Many couples maintain differing schedules and are not shy about it. Some couples are opposite when it comes to being a late-night person versus an early morning person. Still others are working on needed household chores late into the evening and others are enjoying their down time after the kids are in bed. Then there are those couples who have no evening ritual of communication and ending their day together spiritually.
I would like to propose something different: Go to bed at the same time and end your evening in one another’s arms. Why? Well, I tend to think there are some extraordinary benefits. Here are seven.
- You can converse even as you spend time in the bathroom or bedroom preparing for sleep.
- You can deeply communicate about those things the children and others simply should not hear. Call it pillow talk.
- You’ll be together, touching one another emotionally which can lead to a greater opportunity for cuddling and sexual intimacy.
- It creates a level of connection which inspires happiness in the marriage.
- When you go to bed together, you tend to maintain a similar schedule together.
- If there are poor late-night choices (like pornography, internet surfing or social media) being made, going to bed together lends accountability to one another and to unplug.
- And the very best reason to go to bed together? You can top off your day by praying and reading God’s word cooperatively as one.
Try it for 30 days and see if you can establish a brand-new habit that brings life and connection to your marriage. Remove the TV from your bedroom if there is one. Turn off devices, say “I love you” every night and practice giving thanks for what you both brought to the marriage and family that day. You’ll never regret it!