We can hardly wait until we without reserve or hesitation speak those two words, “I do.” And, it’s not long thereafter that we figure out we married someone different from us in both good and not so comfortable ways. How do we face those uncomfortable times as reality sets in?

Let me give you a truth. Your marriage in and of itself is not the problem and never has been. Truthfully, it’s the two individuals in the marriage who create the issues. The problem is US.

Differences in marriage can follow us long term. We must endeavor to make those marriage issues/problems our strength. Easier said than done. Let me give you a few steps.

• Recognize that when two persons become one there are parts of both that must die.
• Recognize and confess the problem(s). Put it out on the table. 
• Remember, you are seeking a win-win and not a win-lose scenario.
• Determine that differences are in certain ways a good thing that can be used to your advantage. Differences force us to see the advantage or disadvantage of another side.
• Determine who has a strength in the particular area and who may be a bit weaker. (For example, finances. Which of you has a better sense or stronger desire to maintain the budget?)
• Determine how both sides can serve as a greater strength to the whole. In other words, how can our difference eventually become a strength?

Early on in our marriage, we ran into a major financial values issue. Mary loved to spend our money and I loved to save our money. Both were necessary, but we strongly disagreed on the correct process for us. As we placed the issue on the table (stopped dancing around it) and faced it openly and prayerfully, we realized two very important parts that we were missing. Mary was not a spender; she was a giver. Steve was not just a tightwad saver; he was investing into the future.

In actuality, we had the best of both worlds in our differing views. We needed to save more so that we could give more.

How about you? How can your weak areas become a strength in your marriage?