Can you remember before you were married how you could spend hours upon hours together and still desire more connection? Prior to marriage, we practiced honoring one another with lots of grace, patience and time. It was easy; we were in love and we were doing our best to make a really good impression. Where does that go?
I love Psalm 91; it is so full of good news. With all of the change the whole world is facing today, God’s word and His promises do not change and it is good to remind ourselves of this fact. If you haven’t read this Psalm recently, please do and consider reading it daily as recommended in point number one below. Its truth is so encouraging in this hour.
There is no better time than now, today, to start teaching your children about money, saving, spending, credit, debt and giving. As we approach Christmas, a time of giving and receiving, you’ll have a perfect opportunity.
Take the financial lessons you have learned and use them as a teaching tool to those little ones in your life, either as a parent, a grandparent or a caretaker. Their future spouses, teachers and employers will love you for it. Author and financial teacher Larry Burkett once said that we are not responsible for our children’s decisions, but we are responsible for their training.
- It all begins and hinges on helping them to understand that God owns it all. We are to be the best stewards of everything He shares with us and because God is so generous, teach generosity. There is no greater blessing than to give.
- Teach the difference between self-discipline, delayed gratification, and immediate self-gratification.
- Give your children regular and meaningful responsibilities – jobs without pay, e.g., picking up their toys. Do not give an unearned, free ride allowance, but rather, give your children regular jobs with generous pay, e.g., mowing the lawn or folding the laundry.
- Teach your children to tithe from every dollar earned or given to them. It is all God’s, but discipline in regular giving grows a habit.
- Teach your children to save a percentage of their income for the future (30-50%), all the while designating a percentage of what can be spent immediately.
- Teach the difference between an asset and a liability – a consumable. Help them to understand the concept of investing and how that will help them beyond today into the future.
- Develop a budget with your child as soon as they can comprehend the idea. It will serve them the remainder of their life. Start a savings account (start with a piggy bank) and when age appropriate, obtain a money market account and an ATM card. Teach them how to responsibly use and balance them.
- Train them in the proper use of credit and how the borrower is servant to the lender. Borrowing for an asset vs. a liability. Share with them the difference between paying interest and growing interest on their money/investment.
- Share with your children your financial mistakes and how they can learn and benefit from them.
- As is appropriate, walk them through all other financial concepts like loans, taxes, utilities, owning a home, maintenance, buying a car, auto repairs, insurance, etc. Take the time to teach your children what God takes the time to teach you about money and His resources. They’re never too young to learn.
And here’s a bonus for you as a parent. Stop saying the words, “I can’t afford it.” Most times we can, we’re normally adjusting our priorities. So rather than this short answer, try explaining why making a certain purchase is not within your budget at this time.
It’s time to reclaim dinner around our tables. This practice is becoming lost in the midst of family busyness, jobs, school schedules, friends and activates. We desperately need to recover this tradition within our families and here’s why.
When we’re sitting around the table eating, it’s a time to connect as a family. It’s a time to talk about our day. It’s a time to encourage, speak life-filled words, laugh and listen. Dads and moms can help provoke this time of communication and connectedness. Here’s how.
There is nothing worse than everyone sitting around complaining about the meal, their day, not talking or simply engaged in words like, “Pass the salt” or “Can you please close your mouth when you chew?” This opportunity for connection can begin with Dad sharing about his work day, Mom sharing about an important meeting she was engaged in and then the children following up with something that occurred in school, a paper due or a prayer need. If no one is talking, you can begin a wonderful conversation just by asking, “So, what’s the craziest thing that happened today?” or “Finish this sentence: Today was a challenge because…”
The food takes a backseat to the conversation. Before closing your mealtime, the conversation can turn to praying together as a family or asking if someone needs help with a certain task assigned after dinner. Mealtime is a time for togetherness and relationship building. Always include your children’s friends in the conversation and you just might start a new tradition in their home as well.
Do not lose the value of such an important daily connection and opportunity. Proverbs reminds us, “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.”
September 11th, 2001, a day we will all remember here in America and around the world. I was sitting on a plane at the Baltimore/Washington airport waiting to fly to New England through New York air space when we were all asked to disembark the plane and to go home. That day, 2,996 people would lose their lives.
I remember reading about the final calls being made to spouses and loved ones. Over 1,000 phone calls were made within ten minutes of the first plane hitting the first tower and thousands more made thereafter. These would be calls in which the two parties would never speak again on this side of heaven. While we can’t predict our death, some of the persons in those two towers and planes had an opportunity to share some last words.
These were the final words from a stewardess, “Hi baby. I’m, baby…you have to listen to me carefully. I’m on a plane that’s been hijacked…I want to tell you that I love you…please tell the children…I’m sorry.” Another, “The only thoughts I have are of Nicholas, Ian and you. I am terrified. I needed to tell you that I truly love you.” And then there was this one, “It’s not looking good. I want you to know I absolutely love you. I want you to do good, have good times…I just totally love you…goodbye, babe.”
As I look at the anniversary of a very sad day, I can’t help but think about final words. What would I say in a last phone call? What would I tell my wife? Perhaps that question is a good exercise for today while we’re alive and well.
If you had one last call, fearing a close end, what would you say to your spouse or your loved one? Please say it now, don’t wait.
Honestly, the most difficult times were when I had to enforce a boundary for my children as their father. Providing the appropriate discipline in the appropriate manner was often a challenge. Is there a difference between punishment and correction?
Punishment has to do with me preserving my right to be angry with my child and keeping my posture as the one in charge. It says that my child must pay for what he or she did wrong. Punishment is often done out of anger lacking any training toward change, put simply, a more powerful parent enforcing his or her will upon the weaker child. Punishment is more about inflicting shame and pain for wrongdoing.
Correction, on the other hand, is not just about reward and punishment; it is more about challenging actions and shaping a will in a life-giving method. It is training out of a spirit of love. It is more about guiding and forming the spirit of the child rather than reinforcing the will of the parent. It is less about anger and more about what’s best for the child.
Correction takes time to administer because it includes instruction toward a different and healthier future. Punishment on the other hand is normally abrupt, more about reaction and often with little thought. Proverbs 29: 15 says that the rod of correction imparts life – correction imparts life! Job 5:17 tells us, “Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.”
As parents, share the responsibility of correction and do not make one parent the mean one and one parent the nice one. Switch it up so your children can identify your father and mother heart.
“Ian, Ian, I’ve lost my son…his name is Ian! Ian, Ian, where are you? Help me,”screamed the frantic mom pushing the empty stroller down the aisle of terminal A. I had just arrived at my gate, returning home from being out of the country. This mom was hysterical and desperate. She had one single focus…finding her lost son. Everyone began standing, looking all around and wondering what they could do for this fear-filled young mother. Those persons who are parents immediately felt her pain because most could empathize with exactly what she felt having more than likely a similar situation happen at one time or another.
Soon an announcement came across the P.A. system saying, “A little boy was found at gate 2C. If you’re his parent, please return to gate 2C.” Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was relieved as she turned to head back to the gate. We all felt her relief and our hearts returned to our chests.
I sat down and almost immediately received a very special picture in my spirit. I saw our heavenly Father running frantically down the aisle, through the hall, in our schools, at our work places, down our street and in our homes calling our names, knowing we were lost. Most of us didn’t realize our lost condition, but He did and He pursued us with everything He had. In fact, He gave His Son, Jesus, to pursue us, to seek and search for each one of us. His love as a parent was and is reaching out to us, beckoning us to come follow Him and never be lost again. Have you answered His call?
I will search for my lost ones who strayed away, and I will bring them safely home again.(Ezekiel 34:16 NLT)