Have you ever bristled at those dreaded words, “We need to talk!”? It seems inevitable that something (most times something negative) in our relationship has been given a chance to grow and now we need to take the time to talk it through. 

Only imagine if one of us countered, “I need to listen”?  I have repeatedly shared that colleges offer effective communication courses and public speaking classes, but have you ever noticed them offering a public listening course? I haven’t, and yet people pay counselors $150.00 plus per hour–fifty minutes actually–and feel better just because someone took the time to listen to them. 

How are your listening skills progressing in your marriage? Listening expresses to the person you are listening to importance and worth. It shows willingness to take in another’s perspective. It reduces aggression in a conversation by not being defensive. It shows respect and honor. It helps to create an atmosphere of understanding. 

Listening is a skill and it’s one that will go a long way in marriage. If our mate feels heard, not necessarily agreed with, they will feel valued. Showing value is priceless in a relationship. What we value we will give our time to.

The scripture wisely adds this: “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” (James 1: 19-20)

Quick to listen, slow to speak.…