Category Archives: Encouragement

Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Premarital, Singles, Women

Couples Who Fight About Money

We were one of those couples! Simply stated, we had extremely differing financial values. Mary called me a “tightwad” and I unappreciatively called her a “spender.” Neither term is endearing and of course settles nothing in the financial realm of marriage. 

It’s a dilemma for sure. We often carry our financial values into marriage from our parents or our family money values. If your family never took a vacation you may not see the value in spending money for a week or two of vacation. If your family overspent and misused a credit card, you may not know how to save for emergencies. 

In our marriage, we came to the point where we needed a strategy to develop a mutual agreement of understanding. James chapter four tells us that we fight and argue because we do not ask God. So, we asked God. When doing so, we discovered that we actually had the best of both worlds.

Mary was not a spender; she was a giver. I wasn’t trying to be a tightwad as much as I was attempting to save for a future investment. Giving and saving for investment. Now that’s a winning combo. 

Here are some points to keep in mind when it comes to family finance:

  1. It’s all God’s. You are simply stewards.
  2. God is your provider. Take a break and let Him be your source.
  3. In Him we lack nothing. When Jesus’ disciples returned from a mission trip He asked them, “When I sent you without purse, bag, or sandals, did you lack anything?” (Luke 22:35) 
  4. Pray over your finances rather than fight or demand, i.e., ask God.
  5. Tithe or sow obediently into His kingdom first.
  6. Create a livable, life-giving budget.
  7. Allow for one another to have a reasonable spending allowance.
  8. Be generous with others.
  9. Pay all of your charges on your credit card monthly.
  10. Create an emergency savings account as soon as possible. (Start with $3,000.00 and then work your way up to three months of living expenses.)
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Challenge, Encouragement, History, Issues of the Day, Just for fun

30 Everyday Sayings That You Didn’t Know Originated from the Bible

  1. “Writing on the wall” – Daniel chapter five describes the prophet Daniel interpreting the writing on the wall that appeared to be written by “fingers of a human hand.”
  2. “Let there be light” – “And God said, “Let there be light.”’ (Genesis 1:3)
  3. “By the sweat of your brow” – Genesis 3:19: “By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food…”
  4. “Of biblical proportions” – This is a reference to the plagues of Egypt described in Exodus 7 and 11.
  5. “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” – “But if there is a serious injury, you are to take life for a life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth…” (Exodus 21:23-25)
  6. “Man does not live by bread alone” – (See Deuteronomy 8:3.)
  7. “Put words in one’s mouth” – II Samuel 14:3 “And Joab put the words in her mouth.”
  8. “Put your house in order” – In II Kings 20 Isaiah told Hezekiah who was ill that he should, “Put your house in order, because you are going to die…”
  9. “Nothing but skin and bones” – In Job’s distress he complained, “I am nothing but skin and bones…” (Job 19:20)
  10. “By the skin of your teeth” – Again, in the same verse as number 9, Job says, “I have escaped only by the skin of my teeth.”
  11. “Broken heart” – The Psalmist wrote, “The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart…” (Psalm 34:18)
  12. “Bite the dust” – Psalm 72:9 reveals “…and his enemies will lick the dust.”
  13. “Wits’ end” – “They reeled and staggered like drunkards; they were at their wits end.” (Psalm 107:27)
  14. “Pride comes before a fall” – “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)
  15. “There’s nothing new under the sun” – Ecclesiastes records that there is “…nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9)
  16. “For everything there is a season” – “For everything there is a season and a time…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
  17. “Eat, drink, and be merry” – Luke 12 states, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy: eat, drink and be merry.” (See also Ecclesiastes 8:15.)
  18. “A little birdie told me” – “For a little bird might deliver your message and tell them what you said.” (Ecclesiastes 10:20)
  19. “Drop in the bucket” – “Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket…” (Isaiah 40:15)
  20. “Rise and Shine” – The prophet Isaiah wrote, “Arise, shine, for your light has come…” (60:1)
  21. “Wolves in sheep’s clothing” – Jesus said, “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” (Matthew 7:15)
  22. “It’s like the blind leading the blind” – Jesus warned us that if the blind lead the blind both will fall into a pit. (Matthew 15:13,14)
  23. “Wash your hands of the matter” – It was Pilot who washed his hands of Jesus and claimed innocence of His blood. (Matthew 27:24)
  24. “The truth will set you free” – We know Jesus to be The Truth, but John wrote, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (8:32)
  25. “It’s better to give than receive” – Acts 20:35 records that Jesus told us that “…it is more blessed to give than to receive.”
  26. “The powers that be” – “…the powers that be are ordained of God.” (Romans 13:11)
  27. “Letter of the law” – “…not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” (II Corinthians 3:6)
  28. “Fight the good fight” – The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy saying, “Fight the good fight for the true faith.” (I Timothy 6:12)
  29. “Armageddon” – This word means catastrophic event in many movies but it’s actually from the book of Revelation 16:16, “Then they gathered the kings together to the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon.” 
  30. “Reap what you sow” – The Apostle Paul wrote, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” (Galatians 6:7)

And how about a few quotes in which the Bible is credited, but are actually not biblical.

  1. “God works in mysterious ways” – While it may be true, these words are not found in the Bible, but rather in a poem.
  2. “Money is the root of all evil” – Correctly the Bible actually says, “For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil” and not money in and of itself.
  3. “God helps those who help themselves” – God helps those who cannot help themselves as well. We are all encouraged to cry out to God for help!
  4. “God won’t give you more than you can handle” – Try to tell this to the person suffering from cancer or those who are in prison for their faith. The scripture actually states, “…God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear…” (I Corinthians 10:13)
  5. “Love the sinner, hate the sin” – These have become some of the most destructive nonbiblical words of our time. Jesus told us to love our enemies and to stop judging your brother when you have an even larger plank in your eye. (Matthew 5:43-48; 7:3,4)

When you hear someone reference one of the 30 everyday sayings above, be sure to let them know of their origin in the Scriptures. Then, also make sure, when quoting the Bible, you are actually quoting the Bible.

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Challenge, Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day

Keep the Change

I have spent my fair share of time in airports and on airplanes. 

Did you know that the TSA security checkpoints accrued $900,000.00 in loose change in 2019? And were you aware that around 58 million dollars of loose change is found on airplanes annually? 

How can these figures be so high? In the U.S. alone there are 2,900,000 air travelers every day who take 16 million flights per year. Change falling or forgotten from that many travelers adds up. 

What’s the point and does anyone really care? Have you ever been short-changed by someone who didn’t seem to know how to make change during a purchase transaction? We don’t like it. But we can walk off from TSA and not be bothered about the change we left behind. Why is that? 

To the former, there is a person connected who in our minds just might be ripping us off. We see their motivations as wrong. We’re suspicious. To the latter, we’re in control; we’re making a decision to not be concerned about the loss. We see our intentions as right. When people are involved outside ourselves we tend to react or respond differently. How we view their actions toward us is significantly different than how we view our own actions. Simply stated, we’ll tend to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. 

Perhaps we could work on changing that perspective and give others the benefit of the doubt. God’s word reminds us to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves…looking to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3,4)

You will find that people respond better to positive expectations rather than negative suspicians.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Premarital, Singles, Women

Why Pre- and Postmarital Counseling?

You’re engaged and on your way to “Happy ever after.” 

Now begins the work of planning a wedding day, a reception and a honeymoon. It is thought that wedding days take up to 200 hours of preparation or more. Think about all that goes into that day: venues, photographer, videographer, flowers, invitations, music, ceremony planning, reception, clothes, and list after list.

Funny thing though, none of these things help to create a better marriage or a more solid foundation. That comes from participating in couple-to-couple premarital counseling. Premarital takes place before you say “I do.” It is foundation building for topics like: communication, conflict, finances, sex, extended family, facing different scenarios, creating tools that help you preventatively.

Marriage is a covenant to a lifetime commitment. We need to receive every possible aspect of prevention that we can. Any investment into your relationship, any seeds sown for personal growth and counsel will be reaped in the years ahead. 

Will you have children, how many, and how will they be educated? Where will you live and will you be able to visit your parents? What are your anxieties concerning marriage? Have you crossed sexual boundaries before marriage and what can we do about that? 

Premarital counseling helps to build a solid foundation and postmarital counseling offers the reality check-ups, reviews, help with present struggles and questions. It should be provocative by nature so that growth occurs and marriage can be embraced in a greater measure. 

Through counseling your love can grow to new heights as you objectively face issues in your relationship. It is an opportunity to be honest, open and vulnerable as you have help offered through your pre- and postmarital counselors.

Finally, if you’re looking for a resource that provokes conversations and gives practical, life-building exercises chapter after chapter, here is our book, Called Together. It asks you the challenging questions before and after you say, “I do.”

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Challenge, Encouragement, History, Issues of the Day

Why America Celebrates the Fourth of July

It was a battle for liberty and individual freedom. There was a conviction that government was from God and there was a deep desire for freedom from the largest earthly power of its time, Great Britain. 

The new settlers believed that the Law of Nature and the law of revelation were greater than any human law. The theologian William Blackstone wrote about the establishment of the Law of Nature as, “The doctrines thus delivered we call revealed of divine law, and they are to be found only in the Holy Scriptures…no human law (or government) should be suffered to contradict these.” 

The Colonists agreed and saw that the new laws and restrictions being forced on them by Britain as a hinderance to God’s plan for America. The fight against Great Britain was their belief that America was God’s divine plan and a seven-year war was in belief of an independent America.

Noah Webster said, “The religion which has introduced civil liberty is the religion of Christ and His apostles, which enjoins humility, piety, and benevolence; which acknowledges in every person a brother or a sister, and a citizen with equal rights. This is genuine Christianity, and to this we owe our free Constitutions of Government.”

The 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence suffered greatly. Five signers were captured by the British and tortured before their death. Twelves signers had their homes burned. Several lost sons in the revolutionary war. Nine of them fought and died from wounds in the war. They were lawyers, farmers and merchants dedicated to an independent America.

These men had a new life in a new land with security and wealth, but they valued their liberty. Together and with one voice they pledged, “For the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of the Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.”

Thank you, God, for a republic. I pray we can keep it.

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Men, Parents

Father’s Day; For Fathers and Men

I received a Father’s Day card from my son that read, “Someday, you’ll thank me – Dad.” Then it followed with these words, “Thank you, Dad! – me.” I love cards for what they say, but mostly for what people write in them. And it’s that written part that often expresses more than the card itself. 

My son went on to add his own words, “Thanks for being a great father and role model. Thanks for teaching me “man” stuff but also how to be a real man – loving my children and wife, working hard and valuing the right things. I am always grateful for you.”

That straight-to-the-heart message of pure gratefulness meant more to me than any card writer at Hallmark could ever come up with. Those were words from someone you spent your life caring for, teaching, training, loving and, yes, even disciplining. You spent thousands of dollars on them with no expectation of return. You stood on the sidelines while they played sports and you sat at concerts while they attempted to play an instrument. You took them on dates to their favorite ice-cream place and you went to a music concert of “musicians” who you didn’t really appreciate. Fathers pray for their children’s safe return late at night and by their bed when they’re asleep.

Fathers believe in their children because too many persons out there in this world do not. Fathers bravely defend their children and frankly would give their lives for their son or daughter. Fathers do not count the cost when it comes to what their children need, and when they can’t provide for that need, they seek out those who can. Fathers sacrifice, work multiple jobs, do what it takes to make family life work. 

But perhaps more than anything, fathers lead the way to faith. If that faith is not working in their life, then fathers know it’s rather difficult to pass on. Children need the love of a father, the provision of a father and the direction of a father. For it is that love, that security and that provision which ultimately helps those children to then trust their heavenly Father.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Marriage, Men, Parents, Women

Conflicts in Marriage; We All Have Them

My wife and I often joke that we had a conflict once in our marriage of 47 years so we wrote a book about it. Not exactly true. We’ve had many conflicts, but conflicts do not have to be harsh or out of control. After all, we face conflicts daily in life and we tend to handle them better with complete strangers than we do with our spouse or our children.

Why is that? We have nothing invested in the stranger, but we have everything invested in our marriage and family. 

Conflicts often originate from blocked goals; we are wanting something and not getting it. We may even want something good, but the goal or the need is blocked by something, by someone. What we do at this point is totally up to us. We can bust our way through with anger or we can go silent and walk out. We can pretend we’re not having a conflict and not deal with it or we can become abusive in our response all in an effort to get what we want and when we want it. 

Here are seven suggestions that can help us when it comes to marriage conflicts:

  1. Even in conflict we need to maintain a right attitude toward one another. Conflict is not always detrimental in marriage, but it does test our faith, our patience and our personal level of grace. According to the scriptures, it also develops character (See Romans 5:3-5 and James 1:2-4.). Remember that in marriage our conflict is deeper because our love is deeper.
  2. The natural response to conflict is more conflict, a desire to win or a desire to just bail. But when we push through, pray through and persevere through, the trial and the outcome will be perseverance doing its work (See James 1:4.). Don’t quit and give up; believe for a resolve because the more we learn to persevere through the conflict, the more victories we will experience. 
  3. Keep in mind that whatever we sow, we reap. If we sow anger, we’ll reap anger. If we sow the negative we will be sure to reap the negative. The seed of criticism and name calling cannot produce the fruit of peace or righteousness.
  4. Do not hold onto negative words, bitterness, criticism, or anger because these things will bite you in the end. Peter told us to be considerate in our marriages and to treat one another with respect (I Peter 3:1-9). Jesus never treats us in disrespect, anger or abuse. 
  5. In each and every conflict, be aware of selfish ambition because many of our conflicts arise from a felt need or desire regardless of how another feels. In Philippians 2 Paul reminds us to, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others [my spouse] better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others [my spouse].”
  6. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:8) Love often means overlooking an offense, forgetting, not pointing out failures, not reminding one another of past mistakes, forgiving and keeping no record of wrongs.
  7. Lastly, as conflicts are resolved, God uses those areas in our lives to help others. I know that might sound far off right now, but it’s true. We will have authority to speak into that which we have had to grow through and have successfully won the battles with.

The number one reason marriages do not make it today is the inability of two adults to respectfully and honorably resolve conflict with each other. Put into practice the points above and you’ll be on your way to resolving conflict. Conflict is not wrong in a relationship, but unresolved conflict certainly is.

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Challenge, Encouragement, Marriage, Men, Prayer, Women

Wedding Anniversaries – Celebrating our 48th

Our love started out like most couples: young, inexperienced, and some naivety. We spoke our vows and threw ourselves into young love. What we didn’t totally understand was that some of the loving feelings and emotions fade and then love as a lifelong commitment begins. 

That was 48 years ago this month! It’s hard to believe that much time has passed. I had brown hair at one time and Mary, well, she still has brown hair, compliments of Clairol. 

We thought we knew all about love, but we were only beginning to discover how that love would be tested and tried over and over. Honestly, as we look back, it was pretty shallow, but we didn’t give up and love definately deepened over time. 

There were romantic getaways, not so romantic trials, date nights and stretches during child raising years in which we felt like we barely hung on to our shared vision. 

We’re now married long enough to have experienced sickness and health, lack and prosperity, pain and triumph. We have weathered many storms with children, with the loss of parents, and with disappointment from prayers not answered in our imagined outcome. We can look back and give thanks for it is those things that make our love what it is today. Forty-eight years of repeated “I do’s,” 48 years of fun and laughter, 48 years of traveling around the world and ministering the love of Jesus together, and 48 years of praying together. 

Don’t give up on your marriage. Remember your vows spoken to one another, to God and to those who attended your wedding. Remember why God called you together. Remember your mission as a couple and remember young love growing deeper every day into “older/deeper love.”

Jesus said it this way: 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6)

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Encouragement, History, Parents, Women

In Celebration of Mothers and Women

Agnes grew up in eastern Europe. When her mother failed to find her a proper husband, Agnes decided that God must be calling her to be a missionary. 

At age eighteen she headed for Dublin from Albania. And then she traveled to Asia where she encountered some of the worst poverty she had ever been exposed to. Overwhelmed by the needs of the poor, she asked other women to join her in her quest to bring life to a dark nation, India. 

Eventually she changed her name to Teresa and became one of the most well-regarded women of the twentieth century. She would win a Nobel Prize, grow her order to over 4,500 sisters in 153 countries. She would as well originate a chain of hospitals, hospices, AIDS centers, orphanages, unwed mothers’ homes and schools. 

Her work and her order grew exponentially. When asked why it was growing she replied, “I give them Jesus; there’s nothing more!”

Upon winning her Nobel Prize, she was asked how she would promote world peace. She replied, “Go home and love your family.” Mother Teresa would describe herself as, “By blood, I am an Albanian; by citizenship, an Indian; by faith, a Catholic; by calling, I belong to the world and by heart, I belong entirely to Jesus.”

This one woman changed the world and her influence continues to do so. Mothers change the world, family by family. Bless you, mothers, as you change the world!!

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Just for fun

A Lifetime “Limited” Warranty

I bought a high-end swinging door to access my deck after the last one made of wood rotted. (Apparently, they don’t make wood like they use to.) I mean I pulled out all the stops to purchase the best door money could buy, guaranteed to never need replacement. And to top it off, the new door came with a “Lifetime Limited Warranty.”

I don’t know about you, but “lifetime” seems like a loooooong time to me. Within less than twelve years my new door began to separate and lost its ability to seal out the cold. No worries–I actually saved the receipt and the warranty statement found on the door when purchased new.

I confidently called the so and so company to order my brand new replacement door. She said she would send a representative to look at the damaged door and give me “an estimate on replacement.” This is when I began to feel a bit nervous. Questioning her further I discovered that I completely understood the definition of the word “lifetime” and the word “warranty,” but really had no idea about the meaning of that other little word thrown in there: “limited.”

The nice factory rep lady informed me that “lifetime limited” was ten years. I said, “Saywhaaa? Ten years?” And then in a snarky manner asked her, “Aren’t you happy your lifetime is longer than ten years?” 

Ladies and gentlemen, be careful of that little word “limited.” It’s a disappointment for sure. Most things in this world are limited. In fact, I can recall my son being asked to leave an “all you can eat” breakfast restaurant. Apparently that restaurant found out what I already knew from closely observing my grocery bill.

Here is a wonderful thing: God’s love, His grace and His forgiveness are totally, unconditionally, without a limit clause in fine print, UNLIMITED. And that’s a guarantee into eternity, signed and sealed by the cross.

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