Category Archives: Identity

Challenge, Encouragement, Identity, Insecurity, Issues of the Day

The Loss of Identity and the Prison of Self

A Thirty Day Devotional adapted from the NEW book: Identity: The Distinctiveness of You – Day 8

I can do all things through Christ. Philippians 4:13

I am born of God and I overcome the world. I John 5:4

Christ’s truth has set me free – John 8:32

In what, in whom do I find my identity?

Is my identity found in my heritage or in my nationality or in my ethnicity?  Is it found in my political persuasion or my education?  Can my identity be found in my sexuality or my gender?  Is it found in my wealth, my work, my success, my abilities or my possessions?  Can I find my identity in who I know or in the approval of significant others?   

Is my identity found in my past losses, my past environment or my past mistakes?  And if I have a sordid past, how is my identity played out in my present life?  Have I used men or women to define me?  Have I used poverty or wealth to define me?  Have I used sickness to describe who I am or have I given in to multiple lies about myself and completely lost any sense of who I am?

For eight years of our lives, my wife and I ran a foster group home for adjudicated teenage boys.  In those eight years, we had many different placements (young men and a few young women).  Some of them truly changed and succeeded and some of them conformed.  What do I mean?

If a foster child simply conformed to the requested set of rules, they were not changing.  They may have succeeded in meeting their court mandate, but they’ll be back in foster care placement in the future.  How do I know that?  Conforming to something does not change one’s heart or one’s identity.  

In the city of Jerusalem there was a pool called Bethesda.  A great number of disabled people were there, the blind, the lame and the paralyzed.  There was a man who was an invalid for thirty-eight years at the pool and Jesus approached him one day.  Jesus, knowing his history, asked him an interesting question: “Do you want to get well?”  Jesus didn’t assume anything.  He knew this man was a long-term resident of this place and perhaps received daily care with a meal or two.  It wasn’t the greatest place, but it was a place to live, sleep, eat, have friends and hang out.  

If Jesus heals this man and makes him well, the man will have to pick up his mat and walk out of that place.  You say, “That would be cool.”  Yes, but there is far more to this story than healing.  That same man who was provided for because of his condition will now have to provide for himself.  He’ll have to find a job, leave his friends, cook for himself and, perhaps, provide for his family.  Jesus was asking him the question, “Do you want to be well,” because what he was really asking was, “Do you want to leave this place, provide for yourself by getting a job and leave what you have come to know as a long-term living situation?”

We can change. We can leave the pool because we can do all things through Christ, changing versus just conforming. When Jesus comes into our life to make us well, He does a complete job and His truth will always set us free.

Question for reflection:

As you consider your identity, do you find yourself in the process of change or merely conforming?

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Identity, Insecurity

Have You Been Noticed Lately? II

A Thirty Day Devotional adapted from the NEW book: Identity: The Distinctiveness of You – Day 7

God’s love is lavished upon me. I John 3:1

God has given me a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7

An important discovery for each of us is to uncover where our security is derived from.  What are the things that we look to for security?  The list can be quite extensive.

Money                                                       Relationships

Marriage                                                    Success

Children                                                     Self-pride

Houses/real-estate                                  Approval                                   

Retirement accounts                               Accomplishments

Business

Earlier in my life, I was a marriage and family counselor.  One day a full-fledged, ordained, denominational, seminary degreed pastor came to see me.  Several sessions into our counseling, I remember a very honest confession from him.  He said, “I am an ordained pastor who speaks on the love of God, knows the scriptures on the love of God and I tell everyone that God loves them, but I do not know the love of God.”  Can you imagine that your profession is telling and teaching people that God loves them, and you yourself do not know that love?

It’s an everyday occurrence.  We think we know the love of God, but do we?  Do we understand that deep within our twisted soul, our shortcomings and our sin, God is madly in love with us?  He created you because He loved you.  He longs for you to know Him because He loves you.  He forgave you through His Son’s life given as a ransom on the cross because He loves you.  He will receive you into eternity one day, not based on your accomplishments or anything that you have done, but based on His incomprehensible, unfathomable, unexplainable righteous love.

Who, of all your relationships, really knows you?  Who knows your faults, your personal quirks and your incapabilities?  The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit really know you and the Godhead, the three in one, adore you.  It is a revelation to know whose you are.  It is a revelation to know the One who knows you inside and out and it is a revelation to know the love of God for yourself.  Do you know this love?  You can.  It is this God, our Father, who through the scriptures below proves His love to you over and over.

He is a faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations – Deuteronomy 7:9

I am loved with an everlasting love – Jeremiah 31:3

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God – Psalms 36:7

I am a saint and loved by God – Romans 1:7

God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit – Romans 5:5

I was loved by God before my birth – Jeremiah 1:5; Ephesians 1:4

Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy made us alive in Christ – Ephesians 2:4

And to know this love that surpasses knowledge, filled with the fullness of God – Ephesians 3:19

God’s love is lavished upon me – I John 3:1

I am loved, God’s Son sacrificed Himself for me – I John 4:10

The love of God transcends any lie we have ever believed that leads us to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. It is His love that has been and will forever be lavished upon us daily.

Question for reflection:

Of the above scriptures, which ones speak to your heart the most concerning your need for security?

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Challenge, Children, Encouragement, Identity, Insecurity, Issues of the Day

Have You Been Noticed Lately?

A Thirty Day Devotional adapted from the NEW book: Identity: The Distinctiveness of You – Day 6

You will be secure, because there is hope. Job 11:18

I am chosen by Him. I Thessalonians 1:4

One of the ways we focus on ourselves is through comparison.  Quite a few years ago while my children were still young, I wrote a leaflet that began with the following paragraph:

Maggie has never had a problem with her self-image.  She loves life and makes the best of every minute.  She loves people and believes that they all love and accept her unconditionally.  Maggie has never stared into a mirror and felt hopeless.  She’s never even desired to look at herself in a mirror and make any kind of judgement.  She is perfectly content with who she is, what she wears, the shape of her body, the color of her eyes, the size of her nose and the shape of her ears.  Maggie blindly trusts in her Creator.  She is content to be who she is.  You see, Maggie is our yellow Labrador Retriever.

The Bible tells us that comparison is unwise.  “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves.  When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”  (II Corinthians 10:12) How so?  When we compare ourselves to someone else, we typically come up short or proud—in other words, feeling insignificant or feeling better than another.  Both of these outcomes are unproductive and self-deprecating, not to mention possibly hurtful to others.  

Comparison does not build security in our lives.  Paul the Apostle told Timothy, his spiritual son, to watch his life…closely (I Timothy 4:6).  He did not say to compare your life to others.  

Here is a truth: The more self-focused we are, and comparison is a form of self-focus, the more insecure we will be.  Being self-focused stunts our growth and essentially inhibits our security.  

The Scripture expresses that the fear of man will prove to be a snare.  (Proverbs 29:25) What does that mean?  It will trip you up, it will steal your direction, it will keep you from following God’s voice, it will keep you stressed and it will steal your joy.  The fear of others’ opinions of us is as old as time.  Every life lived on this earth has dealt with this fear which can be all-consuming.  

Paul the Apostle was writing to the Galatian church about this very subject.  In chapter one, he was saying how astonished he was that they would so quickly be deserting the One who had called them and they would be following a false gospel. He related it to a false gospel that others were speaking to them.  He then writes this, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?” 

You are chosen by Him; you need not compare yourself to anyone! You are uniquely created by your heavenly Father and there is great hope in His security. He notices you every day of your life!

Question for reflection:

If you find that you compare yourself with others, how can God’s approval of you bring an end to your comparison?

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