Let’s face it; we all have feelings. For some, feelings control their actions more than others. 

Have you ever really thought about the process of how you and I arrive at our feelings? There actually is an underlying and explainable process. 

Feelings or emotions are a result of our thoughts. If I tell you a joke and you think it’s funny, your response will be to laugh. If you don’t think it’s funny, you will not laugh. While that’s simply stated, it is the reality. Feelings are more accurately defined as responses or reactions to our thoughts. 

When you have a feeling that you don’t understand try this exercise: stop and listen to your thoughts. Practice listening to yourself and you will identify what is instigating your feelings. If you’re feeling angry or agitated, what were you just thinking about? If you can capture that thought, you will have identified the source of your anger. 

For example, when people say, “You make me so angry!” That’s not really accurate. The truth is what the other person is doing or saying is interpreted by you and is creating certain thoughts. From those thoughts you choose the response of anger. That’s why there can be dozens of cars stuck in a traffic jam with multiple reactions. Some persons are out of their car trying to discover what’s wrong, others are beeping their horn or becoming agitated due to the holdup and yet others are taking the unwanted interruption to read a book. All different reactions to the very same problem because each of us generate different thoughts about how we’re interpreting our environment. 

Are feelings good? Generally speaking, yes. God created us with the capacity to feel. However, when feelings become more important than truth we can get ourselves into trouble. What do I mean?

If our thinking is not truth filled, we are then reacting to a lie or a near truth. Consequently, our feelings are not based on truth. When our feelings or reactions are not based on truth, our responses can be skewed. 

Is there a connection between positive and negative thoughts to our emotions? Yes, there is. No one is a positive thinker 100% of the time. But positive thoughts generate more positive feelings and that’s very real. That said, we can also lie to ourselves and manipulate those feelings. Having constant negative thoughts about ourself or others does create more negative responses. 

Thankfully, not every thought is processed through our feelings. For example, when approaching a stop sign my automated response is to stop because I see the sign, my brain knows the law and I begin the braking process. I do not ask myself if I feel like stopping. Stopping at a stop sign is not an emotion-generating process. However, if someone runs a red light and endangers my family, I will have an emotional response.

I hope this has been helpful to you. Feelings are reactions to our thoughts. Solomon wrote, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)