As we head into the last month of the year 2024, it’s a good time to look back. A look back is a great way to assess where we’ve been. In last week’s blog, we considered looking ahead and writing goals for our marriage. See it here.

So many things in life are assessed; why not our marriages? I often ask my wife if I traveled too much? Did I support her around the house sufficiently? Did she feel my support with the children? Did we engage in ample date nights? Have we been in financial agreement? Did she feel cared for and honored?  And here’s a tough one: did she see God in me more than she saw my selfish desires?

If we’re not in a good place, evaluation or marriage assessment can get us back on track by revealing where we went off track. If we’re in a good place, evaluation is not painful, but rather reassuring that we’re on course for what’s ahead. Evaluation helps us get onto the same page. We’re not judging one another; we’re thanking God for what we learned, what we went through, where we failed and where we succeeded. We’re considering what worked and what didn’t. 

Several years ago, we were assessing our prior year finances because we had a financial decrease forthcoming in the new year. I’m not sure about you, but discussing a decrease in salary is not a discussion I joyfully anticipate. We assessed our year and then began to cross out line items for the next year’s budget. We did it! 

Evaluation helped us to go forward as a couple. We would face the year ahead with unity and agreement.