This is the fourteenth in a series of what traits to look for in a life mate.  While the following sets a high standard, one that perhaps few will initially reach, each area identified is an important character trait to look for and inquire about as you consider a lifelong marriage partner.

14. Is this person serving others?  Is there a personal or developing compassion for others, or is there too much attention devoted to self?  What do you observe to be his/her life balance of caring for others in contrast to personal priorities such as: work, rest, play, television, family, friends, your dating relationship, etc? (Romans 15:1-3; Philippians 2:3-8)

Jesus made it very clear that the greatest in His kingdom was also the most humble.  It takes a humble spirit to be willing to serve others.  It means denying yourself and that does not come naturally.  I have watched my wife serve others, my children and me for over 36 years.  If you look back over your life and think about those who served you, you’ll come to the realization of how they have literally impacted you for a life time.  To “see” the needs of others above our own needs requires a developing sense of compassion.  And that developing sense of compassion is provoked by a true, albeit rare, heart of selfless love.

As a leader, I watch others.  I take notice of those who run to get into line first vs. those who will insist that you go before them.  I look and listen for life balance in what they share with me.  If you’ll listen long enough, you will pick up patterns of speech and what they like to talk about the most.  If it centers around themselves, be forewarned, “selfish ambition” may still be their goal and that goal is insatiable.