Should it ever be your goal to change your spouse? Most of us are married long enough to realize that my weaknesses are often my spouse’s strengths and my spouse’s weaknesses are often my strengths. If that’s the case, why do we feel it’s necessary to make our spouse like us? The truth is, you are in a partnership with your heavenly Father to bring a revelation of His love to your spouse. It is that love that will actually bring about the necessary changes. Have you ever heard someone say, “I just loved him through it?” That phrase is both a confession (I can’t change him so I simply chose to love him.) and an action statement (To love is never a form of inaction.).
We marry because we love, but then we begin to realize a love deficit in our life or the life of our spouse. An unhealthy remedy for this deficit becomes crossing the line into trying to change our spouse in an effort to receive more love. If you are making frequent demands of your spouse – you have a love deficit. If you are constantly pushing your spouse to change something – you have a love deficit. If you find yourself frequently comparing your spouse with others – you have a love deficit. If you find yourself angry with your spouse a lot of the time – you have a love deficit. And if your spouse feels as though they cannot please you – you have a love deficit. Take a moment to ask your heavenly Father for a revelation of His love and seek first His kingdom, as He will add these things (love) to you. (Matthew 6:33)