- Keep dating. Just because you have said, “I do” does not mean the dating scene for you as a couple is over. Keep the fire lit by spending time alone doing what the two of you love to do together. Continue having fun!
- Get a weekend away. Once a quarter or at the very least, twice a year take a weekend away together. Travel a short distance and get away from your home, the kids and your local environment by staying at a hotel or a bed and breakfast. It will help the two of you to get back to the two of you.
- Drink coffee. A pastor friend of mine once told me, “Coffee saved our marriage.” Wondering what on earth he meant he went on to explain that taking time together over coffee to simply listen to one another was a marriage lifesaver. Their short coffee dates provoked the kind of communication and connection they needed.
- Stay sexual. Do not allow busyness, children, jobs or ministry to steal intimacy from you. Stay sexually connected because it is unhealthy to do otherwise. If you need to, make a schedule for sex and agree to frequency. A schedule will actually bring freedom to both of you. Why not, you schedule everything else in life. (I Cor. 7:3,4)
- Pray together. In our book, Called Together, we state that the most intimate thing you can be involved in with another human being is to pray together. When we pray, really pray, we reveal our hearts to each other. To reveal our heart to God and one another on a regular basis is to remain spiritually connected. Nothing says oneness like prayer together. (Matthew 18:19)
- Praise in public; construct in private. Speak words of life and affirmation to your spouse, especially when in public. Let the world around you know that this person is the one (the only one) and that you are madly in love with him/her. When we have constructive words to share keep them full of grace while maintaining a position of humility, always speaking them in private.
- Respect one another. Disrespect is rampant in our culture and it’s unattractive and ungodly. To show respect is literally to show honor and who on this earth does not want to feel honor, especially from the one they love?
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife [spouse] of your youth. (Proverbs 5:18)