Often the phrase, “Well, I’ll just divorce him or her,” is glibly spoken. If you are truly considering this option, then also consider some of these very real consequences.
- You may be dissolving the marital relationship, but you are not dissolving the relationship. As long as this person is alive, they can potentially still be in your life, especially if you have children together. You will deal with many of the same issues outside of marriage that you dealt with in the marriage. And you will deal with them for a long time.
- You will definitely NOT be better off financially. You think finances were tough being married; you have not seen anything yet. It is not just minus one income; it is setting up a whole new household and everything that goes along with that new household.
- Single parenting is a tough gig and gets tougher. As children grow and find their voice, begin to deal with their anger over the breakup of their parents, you will be targeted.
- Experts say it takes 7-9 years for a marriage to settle. If you have not reached this stage, you will face many of the same issues in the next relationship or the next marriage.
- Speaking of next marriage: were you aware that second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages?
- If you are unable to reconcile your differences in your marriage now and think divorce is the answer, what will you do when the very same inability surfaces in your second marriage?
- Even if there is a breaking of the marriage vows in your present marriage, it is more profitable to the marriage in the long run if a couple can heal the present brokenness and grow in their relationship to a more stable and secure level of forgiveness and commitment.
- You will normally spend years attempting to untangle who you have become in your present marriage to who you will become in your second marriage.That untangling takes time and healing.
- The patterns you developed in your present marriage will be a part of your next relationship/marriage. Consequently, if you developed a trigger from your first marriage, it can become larger, even more magnified in your second marriage.
- How long do you think it will take you to “unmarry” someone? That healing is different for each and every person.
There you have it, well some of it. I am sure I have missed many areas, but these are things in my short life that I have observed about the ending of one marriage and attempting to begin another. Can it be done successfully? Yes, it can. Is it as easy as you think it is? No, it is not. So please do not ask your friends who are not married or even those who are married for advice. I suggest you ask those friends who have been through this very challenging life circumstance. They will have a better handle on the truth and the reality rather than the feelings and the desired escape.