Oh those little ones with insatiable needs. Let’s face it; you are tired when you finally get them down and find your bed for yourself. Your last thought is intimacy with your spouse. It’s a given.
God gave us sexual intimacy to have children; don’t let that same gift steal romance from within your marriage relationship.
Mothers have to battle the temptation to allow their small children to steal their loyalty away from their husband. Those long days of responsibility in caring for children or working fulltime outside the home can cause a slow drifting away from the needs of her spouse. In fact, most moms will prioritize the needs of their children over the needs of their spouse–right or wrong. After all, her children can be helpless and her husband is an adult.
Here is the problem. Women can be totally fulfilled in being a mother, nurturing her children. It’s satisfying and it can create a sense of fulfillment experiencing the overpowering gratification of mothering. Moms are made for these moments.
But there is something missing from this formula. While God created you to care for and love your children, He also created you to care for and love your husband in all ways. He can’t be left with feeling like he is competing with the kids. He must know he is a priority to you. A priority as in someday the children will leave home. In fact, they are given to you to leave. Your husband is not given to you to leave, but to stay. He is your life mate, life lover, life partner and life friend.
So, return to nurturing each other once again. Yes, the children will always have needs, but so will your spouse. Nurturing one another is not any less important than caring for your children.
What are some ways that you as a couple can keep romance alive, even while the children are small and have neverending needs?
2 thoughts on “Having Small Children and Finding Intimacy as a Couple”
Steve, I agree with the points you are making. But, I think there is a perspective missing here – the role of the husband in the relationship. The husband also has a responsibility here: to make sure his wife is fully supported, that he is partnering with her to raise their kids, is fully present to the family, and that her needs are met too (sexual, emotional, or otherwise). I fear that many young moms can read this post and feel that they are not doing “enough” to serve their families and that they need to always say “yes” whenever their husband asks for intimacy regardless of the circumstances. I think you would agree with what I am saying here, but I just wanted to share that from my own journey/perspective as a husband. Thanks for your work in serving the Lord. Blessings!
Yes, true, clearly a role of the husband as well. I just haven’t addressed that as yet. Thanks for the thoughtful comment. :))