We were all packed and ready to go. I was doing some last-minute email and text message replies while my gracious wife voluntarily packed the car for our five-hour trip to New York. We would be staying at a retreat house and needed to pack lots of extra items. 

With my wife’s assurance, we were ready to hit the road. It was a beautiful drive through the upper Alleghany mountains of Pennsylvania on into New York. After stopping for lunch, for fuel and for a you-know-what-break, we pulled into our destination and began unloading.

It all went smoothly without a hitch. We would meet with the leadership couple soon and begin prepping for our seminar the next day. 

Horrified, my wife came into the bedroom where I was attempting to find a phone signal and declared, no, with panic in her voice loudly stated, “Steve, I forgot to pack our suitcase!” Wow, a whole weekend without a change of clothing and necessary care items. How would we respond to each other? How emotional would we become? What fighting words of anger might follow?

I looked at her and said, “You’re kidding, really?” I began to laugh and attempted to reassure her it was okay and it was as much my fault as it was hers. 

We both started laughing, knowing we just created a memory. A quick trip to Walmart was now being planned.

 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. (Ephesians 5:25-28 The Message)

So, how do we practically walk those specific verses out in our marriage?

1. Give each other the benefit of the doubt – just as we often give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. We all forget things.
2. Serve – serving one another can never get old. It keeps our attitudes right toward each other. Serving keeps us from becoming selfish in our relationship. 
3. Always show compassion – criticism will kill a relationship. Compassion toward your life mate will build relational connection. Be understanding, not just desiring to be understood.
4. Express love and words of affirmation – be each other’s encourager and build up your mate with life-giving affirmations. Tell her she looks great in that outfit. Tell him he’s as strong as he was the day you met him. Say the words “I love you” daily; never miss a day even if it has to be over the phone or a text message.
5. Live oneness – in your oneness, realize that what hurts you hurts your life mate. If you speak words of critical judgment, you are as well speaking those words over yourself.

All of these practices will help to build love and security in your marriage. The more security and love you build in your marriage, the more emotional, physical and spiritual oneness you will enjoy.