Sex is often touted as the most intimate act of marriage. So, what makes it so intimate, especially for those married couples out there? 

Here’s a blog about making sure sex is an act of intimacy with your spouse. 

In order for sex to be intimate, there are a number of ingredients. Let’s list ten of them.

1. Sex is not saying “I want sex;” it’s saying “I want you.”
2. For sex to be intimate, pornography must be absent in your relationship. 
3. Sex is knowing the preferred love-receiving, love-giving desires of my wife or husband. 
4. Sex held within the boundary of our marriage is saying “I choose you, only you.”
5. Sex is not “getting my needs met,” but rather meeting my spouse’s needs. 
6. Sex is not just about a man or a woman’s physical release; it’s more about giving love to one another. 
7. Sex is a physical, emotional and spiritual connection with your spouse.
8. Sex is about feeling valued by another expressed through love, honor and respect. 
9. Sex is never forced on another.
10. Sex that provokes feelings of displeasure, distatefulness or embarrassment is not intimate.

Sheila came to us and shared that sex for her was her husband meeting his needs and then going to sleep. There is no intimacy and no emotional connection in a situation like that. For years she felt like an object. She preferred her marriage to be sexless vs. what she was enduring. 

It doesn’t have to be that way. Make a commitment to take time to evaluate your sexual intimacy. Listen to one another and hear what the other is feeling about your sex lives. Then make a commitment to change or talk to someone you would respect in this area. Do not allow one of the most intimate acts of marriage to be stolen from you.