How many hats do you wear? Let’s see: there’s our work hat, our husband/wife hat, our mother/father hat, our hobby hat, our grandmother or grandfather hat – you get the picture. We all wear multiple hats. A problem can arise when we are walking into our kitchen at home while still wearing our work hat. Or, we’re wearing our father hat in our work meeting, treating our staff like our kids. 

How do you successfully change from your work hat to your spouse/parent hat before walking in the door? I served as a marriage and family counselor for over fifteen years. I struggled listening to marital issues or abuse issues all day and then arriving home ready to be a father and husband. Some days I felt overwhelmed with other people’s problems and could be guilty of “carrying” them home with me. It is not a good scenario for anyone. What to do…

• First, I had a 35 – 40-minute drive between my home and my office. I began to use it to decompress. We need space between our work and our home so we can successfully change hats. I feel for that farmer who walks into his kitchen directly from his barn where he had to deal with an uncooperative milk cow. Intentionally take the time to pray and to give your day to God. Give each person, each issue, your boss and coworker to God. Hand over your client’s issues or your congregant’s needs to your heavenly Father. You cannot carry them through the threshold of your residence or your mind will not arrive with your body. 
• Secondly, give God thanks for your job, the problems there and those persons you work with. Have a thankful heart even in the midst of stress-filled days. 
• Further, change focus by beginning to think about the needs of your spouse and your children. Doing this will move your thoughts from work or wherever you are coming from to your family.
• If there were major issues that will carry over to the next day, ask God for solutions and then expect to hear from Him. When you hear, write them down and then leave them on that piece of paper until tomorrow. 
• Stay off of your phone and give your attention to your family. Give your full attention so your spouse and children know you’re not at work, rather you’re fully engaged with them. 

Lastly, while it might seem counterproductive to what you have just read, do allow yourself to share an issue from your day at dinner around the table with your family. They do not need the names or the details, but they do need to hear that your workplace is not perfect and there are issues to discuss. That way your children will not just shrug their shoulders when asked to talk about their school day; they’ll follow your example of sharing in a vulnerable way.