Recently I read an article on what 90-year-olds regret the most. Their answers included:

• Not cultivating closer family relationships, their children in particular.
• Not putting their children on the right path.
• Not taking more risks including sharing more of their feelings with others and not being more affectionate.
• They also regretted not being better listeners, which included being more empathetic.
• They regretted not spending more time with the persons they loved. 

When asked when in life they were happiest? Happiness was strongest in their late 20’s to early 40’s, when they were raising children and then, again, steadily increased after age 50. Their secret to happiness and living regret-free was to savor every second they could when spending time with those they loved. 

In other words, accomplish more? No, love more. 

My wife and I were recently spending time with some friends of ours who have five years of age on us. They shared, “We’re now counting all the losses in life. We’re the next generation to pass. We’re the oldest of our families. We’re experiencing or will experience multiple losses. We’ll face the loss of our driver’s license, perhaps our home, our health, losing our friends who are passing ahead of us, and possibly a decrease or loss in finance.” It was sobering to listen to and then to realize my wife and I face many of the same potential losses. 

There is an ongoing accumulation of losses. Psychologists call it “compounding loss.” We’re living longer but we can experience grief after grief in this stage of life. 

What to do?

Age gracefully: 

1. Stay active and healthy – exercise, walk, talk and pray a lot, doing things that stimulate us. Colossians 4:2:

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” 

Prioritize your mental health; manage stress in your life. Receive personal input from your leaders. Ask questions and seek answers. Be positive about aging. Keep reading God’s word alongside encouraging books. 

Philippians 4:6-8:

^“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

• Embrace change – don’t get stuck, adapt accordingly. Change is here to stay, even at our age.
• Be thankful – it will help our attitude. Constant complaining does not help anyone. 1 Thessalonians 5:18:

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 

Colossians 3:15:

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” 

• Stay in fellowship and keep company with believers who are also positive and thankful. Do not become disillusioned with Jesus’ church, He will not disappoint. Stay close to your biological family and the family of God.
• Cultivate hobbies and interests.

Stay focused on the gains and not just the losses. What are some of the gains?

1. Wisdom
2. Influence
3. Truth–filled experience
4. Time – more available
5. Love
6. Being able to look beyond faults and seeing potential
7. Grandparenting and great grandparenting
8. Forgiveness and keeping disappointments at bay
9. We’re older than most of the professionals in our lives. We can use this to our advantage – dentist, doctor
10.  Prayer times