Encouragement, Issues of the Day

Failure: One of the Positives in Life

images-6I read a true story about a company vice president who had a very close personal assistant. This personal assistant was trusted implicitly, exposed to every level of information that his boss, the vice president was exposed to. Their relationship was tight, full of trust and full of integrity. This personal assistant would do anything for his very kind and generous boss. They seemed inseparable. The VP repeatedly told his assistant he was being groomed for greater and one day he would see the reality.  However, the day came when the president of the company experienced a major difference with his VP. It took some time, but eventually the president began to tell lies about his VP to the board of directors. He was slowly and methodically working toward the firing of the VP, even though every accusation was false. The only one who could stand up for the integrity of the VP was his personal assistant.

That dreaded day arrived when the board of directors would call upon the personal assistant to testify and the very real rumor was that if the VP was fired, the only way the assistant could maintain a position with the company, and not lose his employment, was to side with the president. The personal assistant didn’t realize that on the day he would be called into the boardroom, both the president and his boss, the VP, would be present as well. In his heart, the assistant was prepared to stand up for and defend his boss, but out of his head and through his lips came only words that aligned themselves with the president. Call it what you will, but at the very least it was self-preservation. His boss slowly turned his gaze toward his long time friend and looked deep into his eyes. They both seemed to drop their heads in disbelief at the same time. Pain struck the assistant in his gut and chills ran down his spine, his face became flush red, his heart pounded with disbelief and his palms were sweaty and stuck to the table where he was seated.

Immediately he knew he failed his long time friend, his family and himself. He still had a job, but he lost all incentive with the company and one day, not long after this very meeting, he just walked away, returning to his prior profession as a commercial fisherman.images-7

What was the name of the personal assistant? How can you and I identify with him?  (See Matthew 26:69-75)

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Issues of the Day, Marriage

Liberation: The Toilet Seat is Up

imagesYou know your wife is away for an extended period of time if the toilet seat is left in the “up” position. As husband’s, we have been properly trained and groomed in toilet seat etiquette and flushing. But when our wives are away, all toilet seat bets are off and flushing is optional. What a pleasure it is to go into the bathroom, take care of business without having to first bend over and place our clean fingers on the germ-filled underside of a toilet seat. Then, having to go through a lifting up motion just to repeat the whole ordeal all over again placing the seat back down. They say it is the small things that bring pleasure to a man in everyday life and I am here to tell you this is one of those “small thing pleasures.”

Don’t get me wrong; it is not out of rebellion or a silent protest against my dear wife. (I actually caught myself once and almost put the seat down by automatic response.) It is a simple pleasure like relieving oneself in the woods where no extra bending over or lifting effort is ever needed. Yes, my wife has left for the day and she has placed her full trust in me to care for her well-kept and clean home. Heck, I even put the toilet seat up in our extra bathroom and I don’t plan on using that one all day…soooo liberating. This is to all those men who feel any sense of toilet seat control, here’s your chance to be liberated for a day and catch a smile forming on your face as you walk into the bathroom.   And may I challenge you one step further?  Maybe, just maybe dare to go without having to put forth the effort of reaching up and flipping the light switch on.  Now we’re talkin’.

I just heard the garage door go up, I gotta run and take care of a few things.

PS  Secret: You do not want to get caught with your toilet seat in the ‘up’ position so please for the sake of marriage harmony, plan your toilet seat strategy very carefully!

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In the news, Issues of the Day, Marriage

Has God Changed the Verdict for the Case of Marriage?

images-4Marriage doomsayers have been touting the end of marriage, as we know it, in multiple forms of messages for decades. Shouted from places of academia and even some pulpits is the specious notion that one half of all marriages end in divorce, that marriage is meaningless and old-fashion or the notion of cohabitation – no legal piece of paper is necessary. In spite of this relentless push, the great news is that marriage remains strong as an institution, is not crumbling off the face of the earth and the One who actually created and designed marriage has not redefined marriage or decreased the importance of marriage and the family as the basis of our society.

Believe it or not, the design of marriage did not take place in the halls of congress, a courtroom, a temple or through some enlightened monk centuries past. Here is where it all began: “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.   I will make a helper suitable for him.’ So the Lord caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2: 18, 21, 22, 24)images

Did Jesus affirm this covenant act created by God in His “God became flesh” days on the earth? He did. “‘Haven’t you read,’ he [Jesus] replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?’” I am so grateful for God’s design called marriage and how the Son of God spoke to and affirmed that design long after creation. May we continue to boldly do the same by strengthening our unions and serving those who are struggling in theirs.

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Issues of the Day, Singles, Small Groups

A New Generation: Drinking and the Questions We Need to Ask

images-5Let’s face it—alcohol is back. No longer is alcohol demonized in Christian circles. We even find churches using beer as a gathering agent during Bible studies in local bars. Is that practice sacrilegious, going too far or taking hold of my liberty and tramping all over yours?

How much alcohol is too much and do we know our personal limits? Just where do we cross the line? Is getting a little drunk a little wrong or simply not a sin? The Bible, our source as believers, gives some very clear guidelines. I’d like to offer you a few more—if you’ll indulge me.

First, in taking a close look at God’s Word, it is absolutely wrong and sinful to be inebriated. Jesus Himself said, “Watch out! Don’t let me find you living in careless ease and drunkenness” (Luke 21:34).*

Apostle Paul warned believers not to participate in wild parties and get drunk (Romans 13:13; Galatians 5:21). Paul said drunkards would not share in the kingdom of God (I Corinthians 6:10). He told the Ephesian church—and therefore that includes you and me—not to be drunk with wine but be filled with the Holy Spirit of God (Ephesians 5:18). Peter stated in 1 Peter 4:3, “those who drink to drunkenness share in evil desires;” and such behavior is to be treated as a sin that we completely eliminate from our lives. He actually called those who participate in drunkenness “godless people.”

I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not want to find myself in eternity and discover that I have been involved in “godless” activity of any kind. I desire to live my life in a way that leads others to my Savior, an attractant, not a distraction from Christ. At this point, you might think that I am against any alcohol consumption by a believer. I am not. That is between you and our heavenly Father. So, the first question is to ask Him: “Father, is it okay with You that I consume alcoholic beverages?” It is important to know God’s will for you. Just because you are of legal age to drink does not mean that you have the liberty to partake. Has your heavenly Father given you permission or do you have some form of conviction in your heart that you are dismissing?

While I was in the military some decades ago, I observed a lot of alcoholism and other addictions. The military taught that alcohol is a drug—the most frequently abused drug in the world. In graduate school, I heard many drug and alcohol counselors say that alcoholism started with one drink, just like drug addiction starts with one joint or pill. Does everyone become addicted? No. Does everyone have the potential of addiction? Yes.

The second question to ask yourself might be, “Does alcoholism exist in my family history?” If it does, the potential of addiction is even greater. Why? That spirit of addiction is already introduced to your family line and may have been part of it for generations. Carefully look at your family history. If you haven’t already, now is a good time to break off any generational spirit of addiction in the name of Jesus.

images-4Third, who are you hanging out with? Are they encouraging you to drink and/or to drink too much? Did you know that Proverbs 23:19-21 admonishes, “My child, listen and be wise. Keep your heart on the right course. Do not carouse with drunkards and gluttons, for they are on their way to poverty.”

Speaking of poverty, how much money does it take to drink alcohol and can you actually afford it? Does the expense of alcohol limit your ability to purchase necessary items? Listen to Proverbs 21:17, “Those who love pleasure become poor; wine and luxury are not the way to riches.” Drinking too much can be a road to poverty, loss and brokenness.

Fourth, are you hurting a weaker brother or sister in the faith? If someone has recently become a Christian and their background was drinking to the point of drunkenness, then part of their freedom might require them to never drink again. Your freedom to drink might offend them; or worse, encourage them to drink again and bring destructive forces back into their lives. Apostle Paul said he would abstain from eating meat and drinking wine if eating or drinking would offend a weaker brother. “Don’t eat meat or drink wine or do anything if it makes another person stumble” (Romans 14:21).images-6

On occasion I have heard Christians boasting about their liberty to drink, freely admit that they drink too much at times but feel no conviction about it. For those who feel this way, please consider the wisdom of Isaiah 5:22, “Destruction is certain for those who are heroes when it comes to drinking, who boast about all the liquor they can hold.” Do not be led astray by these persons because, “Wine produces mockers, liquor leads to brawls. Whoever is led astray by drink cannot be wise” (Proverbs 20:1).

Someone told me that drinking alcohol or offering it to minors is no different than introducing them to coffee or being addicted to caffeine. I have never observed inebriation among coffee drinkers. Can we be addicted to caffeine? Yes. Is it comparable to alcohol addiction and what the Bible forbids in drunkenness? That, to me, is quite a stretch.

On almost every occasion that the subject of alcohol comes up for discussion, someone quickly retorts, “But didn’t Jesus Himself turn water into wine? Wasn’t He by His action an advocate of drinking?”

It’s true, Jesus turned water into wine. Focusing on the subject of the miracle rather than the miracle itself is less about why the story is in the Bible. However, take it a step further will you? Do you believe that Jesus turned the water into wine so that the attendees of the wedding could become drunk and unable to find their way home, commit adultery with another man’s wife, speak crudely or end up regurgitating all over the wedding feast?

We also know Paul told Timothy to have some wine for his stomach’s sake. Are you sick every Saturday night and does your stomach need a little wine? To be fair there is, however, a Proverb that actually encourages a drink for those who are “dying” and those who are in “deep depression” or anguish (Proverbs 31:6).

Here are a few more questions to ask yourself as you personally think about alcohol consumption:

 

  • Has alcohol ever caused you any problems in life such as a DUI, being late for work, a broken relationship, an unclear mind, slower reaction time or influenced you in some way to make a wrong decision?
  • Do you feel the need to defend your actions concerning alcohol?
  • Do you know how much drinking is too much?
  • Have you set a consumption limit for yourself? Have you ever gone over the limit? If so, what have you now changed as a result?
  • Can you afford alcohol?
  • Do you turn to alcohol when you are stressed, worried or can’t sleep rather than turning to God?
  • Is alcohol an answer for anything in your life?
  • Does drinking alcohol (in your mind) help you to fit in, be more social, make you feel older, help you to be less inhibited or more popular?
  • Do you feel that you need to drink alcohol to relax?
  • Is alcohol an excuse in your life for anything?
  • Are you developing a tolerance to alcohol?
  • Does alcohol need to be a part of all of your social occasions? Can you say “no” to a drink when you are with friends and not sense any judgment from them about your choice?
  • How do you relate to/judge peers who have chosen not to drink alcohol?

What if your friend is at your home, your birthday party or your wedding reception and in celebration they drink too much, as you know they have a tendency to do at times. Your friend then hops into their vehicle to drive home. Due to too much alcohol, they have an accident and are killed or kill someone else. Can you control other people’s actions or decisions? Not really, but how responsible might you feel? We can supply an environment to either help or hinder them.

Consider the following if you choose to drink alcohol:

 

  • Set a limit on the number of drinks for yourself. Know your personal tolerance.
  • Set a limit on the frequency of times for partaking.
  • If you are driving and attending an event where alcohol is being served, consider not drinking.
  • If you have friends who drink too much and then get behind the wheel, never ride with them.
  • If you know that you have had too much alcohol and have become giddy or drunk, ask yourself if this is the person of Christ who you desire to represent.

Romans 12:1 clearly discusses how we are to use the body God has given us. We are told to offer our bodies as a “living sacrifice” that is “holy” and “pleasing to the Lord, as an act of worship.” It is amazing to realize that how we treat our bodies, abuse our bodies or care for our bodies can either bring glory to God or be harmful to ourselves and to the cause of Christ. To offer ourselves as a living sacrifice is to worship God. In all environments and in all of our actions, we should desire to bring glory to our Savior.

Finally, consider Paul the Apostle’s advice that he gave to us as a very clear outline for our life and how to live it, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

*All scriptures taken from the New Living Translation, 1996, Tyndale Charitable Trust

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