Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital

Finding Our Co-mission as a Couple

This past weekend, Mary and I had the privilege of installing a godly couple into the position of lead pastors at a church in Massachusetts.  As little as a year ago, they might not have seen themselves in this position, but that’s the “amazing race” our Father can have us on if we are listening to Him.  They are so excited to see what God will bring about through their leadership together.  Up to this point, they have served in numerous roles within this same local church for many years in whatever area of service they could.  Imagine if they would have refused serving in a co-mission capacity along the way.  Would they have been given the greater responsibility now before them?  As we are faithful in little…

Marriage is a oneness that trumps personal selfishness.  Agreement in our mission together is vital to a long-term, successful and fulfilling marriage.  While I am not called to everything my wife is, we have found specific areas where we serve together in our co-mission.  We have written those areas down in our “marriage mission statement.”  And for 2014, this past weekend was a part of fulfilling our mission together.  How about you and your spouse?  Do you have a written marriage mission statement?  It may help you to discover the reason(s) you are married.  Next week we will look at how to build your very own personal marriage mission statement.  Until then, begin making a list of all the things you are presently involved in as a couple.

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Encouragement, Leadership

Finishing the Year with Vision for 2014

The year 2013 is about to come to a close.  What were your highlights from this past year?  Do they out number the lows?  It’s easy to be thankful for the highlights, but a bit tougher to “give thanks in all things” for the lows.  Someone said if you get your eyes on what you feel God hasn’t done, you’ll lose your thankfulness, but if you keep your eyes and heart on what God has done you’ll maintain a heart of praise and a spirit of joy.

Before we enter 2014, I want to encourage you to take some time to evaluate 2013 and consider what you have learned, how you have grown as a person, what did you needlessly worry about, what financial decisions were right and which ones were wrong, how did you do with dating your spouse and children, and perhaps consider what you would have done differently now that you have the hindsight?  Then turn the corner and ask God for the vision He has for you in 2014.  What three or four goals would you like to see accomplished spiritually, emotionally, educationally, financially and physically?  Consider writing down the vision along with steps to take in order to reach your vision.  When you come to the end of 2014, you’ll have more to rejoice about as you discover many of the goals written twelve months earlier are accomplished.

Write down the vision and make it plain on tablets…  (Habakkuk 2:2)

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Encouragement, Leadership

A Listening Challenge

I was talking to a young man recently, maybe 27 or 28 years old.  He had multiple piercings and quite a few visible tattoos that did not represent positive themes.  His cloths were a bit too large, which I did not perceive to be a fashion statement.  Further, he was in need of deodorant.  I went up to him and asked him about his life story and what his dream is.  This young man took off with a plethora of words about a successful music career in Hollywood, CA with many “rock stars,” one of them being him.  He, further into the conversation, said he lived in Nashville, TN where he was a “country music sensation” dropping some well-known names.  At another time in the conversation, he told me he spent two and a half years incarcerated in Florida, on “false charges” of course.

As I was listening, I found myself thinking about what might be truth and what might not be.  I was wondering about his reality.  I was captivated by his incessant desire to be someone of worth and value, someone famous.  When we are attentive in our listening, we are making a statement that the one speaking is important.  It could have been easy to be distracted or simply want to move away from this person, but Jesus would have listened intently.  Jesus would have cared about his personal story even if it were fabricated.  Jesus would have given him every minute he needed without judgment.  And then He would have posed a pointed question like, “Do you know how much I love you with or without worldly success?”  Or, He might have said, “The kingdom of God is not meat or drink, but righteousness, peace and joy.”  How can I be more like Jesus today and who needs my listening ear without my judgement?

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Encouragement, Leadership

Being Human and Temptation (Part II)

In part one we said that a temptation is an appeal made upon a weakness within you.  Temptation is not wrong; we all have them.  Temptation is satan’s way of pulling you away from God thoughts, an unhealthy distraction from the focus of obeying your heavenly Father.  Even if it lasts only seconds, you still need to face it scripturally and not simply avoid it or wait until it seems to have passed because you know it will return with a vengeance.  I Corinthians 10: 13 tells us that God makes a way of escape from temptations.  What are those ways?

First, identify the weak area(s).  Acknowledge them, be accountable with them, pray over them and seek healing through the work of the Holy Spirit.  If you take the weakness out of the dark and bring it into the light, you give the enemy less to work with.  Be honest before God about them, confessing to Him your weak areas.  Next, study yourself, listen to your self-talk and discover when you are most susceptible to listening to the enemy’s voice.  For me, I have learned that it is when I am physically and emotionally spent.  Then ask yourself if any life changes are necessary in order to be less susceptible.  I had to discover just how much sleep I actually needed on a daily basis.  Further, I had to recognize and acknowledge personal stress areas rather than be in denial of them.  Lastly, keep inviting Holy Spirit into the process to show you areas of healing still needed within your soul.

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Children, Leadership, Training

The Law of Attribution

I was helping a middle-aged man with a fear of suspended bridges a number of years ago.  His fear was that he literally could not drive his car across them.  He had to plan all of his travel in such a manner that he did not cross a bridge that spanned a river or a mountain valley.  Imagine how limiting that would make life.  After some digging around, he told me that when he was a young boy he and his grandfather were stopped in construction traffic at the peak of one of those bridges.  When you are just sitting on the amazing expanse of such a structure, you can actually feel the bridge sway.  It literally moves underneath your vehicle.  His grandfather began saying, “Do you feel that?”  Further, he teased his young heart and mind with, “The bridge is collapsing, THE BRIDGE IS COLLAPSING and we’re going to end up in the river.”

A spirit of fear came over the young man that day and it still gripped him as he sat before me shaking with the memory exposed.  To this man, bridges were something to fear.  A lie was spoken to him through innocent teasing and his soul and spirit received the lie.  The Law of Attribution, defined, says, “That which you attribute to be fearful and stress producing will be.”   When approaching a bridge, a warning light and alarm went off within him and told him to avoid it, pull over and back up.  There was no truth in the lie, but still fresh and deep within his memory bank.  What do you attribute to be fearful, anxiety or depression producing?  How has the law of attribution been put into effect within your life?  Stay tuned for more on the subject next week.

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Encouragement, Leadership

The Gift of Repentance

God knew I needed refreshing while on a two month sabbatical from work/ministry responsibilities.  I knew I needed refreshment.  Little did I know, however, that it would begin with repentance.  To repent means to do an about-face, to turn away from and to pursue a different direction.  Was there some major sin in my life, no, but any shortcoming, any missing the mark should be major to us.  The Father was gently nudging and I was determined to listen, to hear, to believe Him and to respond.  I was acting upon a verse of scripture that He was highlighting to me.  Acts chapter three verse 19 says, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord…”

I have been a Christ follower for 42 years and I sense there are seasons of my life where I simply forget about the gift of repentance.  It’s a gift because following true repentance I am then in right standing with God, not due to my own effort.  I know I am forgiven through one act of grace on the cross.  I love what Paul wrote to us in Colossians chapter one about this gift.  He said that at one time we were alienated from God, we were enemies, due to our behavior, but then came reconciliation through Christ’s death to, …”present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.”  Wow, you and I are holy in His sight, without blemish and free from the accusations of the evil one.  Repentance, what a gift.

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Encouragement, Leadership, Prayer

Back From a Sabbath Rest

Two months of being totally out of the loop from those whom you serve in ministry or your work place can be a long time.  Eight weeks ago my last blog was that I would disappear from the blogosphere and engage in a healthy Sabbath rest.  It has been an excellent God time, rest time, journal time, training time, reading time, prayer time, centering time and listening time.  I do not regret one single day other than a few unexpected distractions.  Thank you for your patience and allowing me to take this time away.  The following are some of the things I learned or rediscovered on this sabbatical:

 

  • Sabbaths are vital and spoken into our lives here on earth by our heavenly Father.  They are God’s answer to self-depletion.
  • I rediscovered and was forced to face how much of my life is connected to my work, how much I think about it, worry about personal situations and pray for those I serve.
  • I am not the answer.
  • It was refreshing for my Father to gently work me through areas of repentance.
  • It became necessary to push through areas of distraction.
  • How easy and natural abandonment, rejection and un-forgiveness are while how supernatural is the cross, forgiveness and the depth of God’s love and acceptance.
  • How natural fathering/mothering impedes or enhances spiritual fathering/mothering.

There were more areas of a personal nature vital to my own self-discovery, personal wholeness and deepening faith.  Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made to benefit people, and not people to benefit the Sabbath.  And I, the Son of Man, am master even of the Sabbath.”  (Mark 2:27, 28 NLT)  Thank you, Jesus, for being Lord of my Sabbath.

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Encouragement, Leadership

Have You Taken a Sabbath Lately?

Throughout the Old Testament, Sabbaths were observed on different days and observed for different lengths.  A Sabbath was actually from God or designed by God for mankind.  No work was to be done on a Sabbath outside of essential duties like feeding the livestock.  Under the Law the penalty for breaking the Sabbath was a mild one – death.  (It seems there was this random guy gathering wood on a Sabbath and wondering what to do with him the Israelites inquired of the Lord.  God’s reply was that he must die outside the camp – Numbers 15.  Yikes!)  The word Sabbath in Hebrew means to take an intermission or cessation from work.  It is a repose, a desist from exertion in order to seek the Lord and God was quite serious about it.

Jesus said that man was not made for the Sabbath; the Sabbath was made for man (Mark 2:23-28).  The Living Bible states it this way, “But the Sabbath was made to benefit man, and not man to benefit the Sabbath.”  Every creature God created needs rest, a cessation period.  When God said that six days we will work but rest on the seventh He included the hard-working ox and donkey too (Exodus 23:12).  Even today, a wise farmer learns the principle of letting fields be fallow and rest for a season.   No one would be productive working 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Even Jesus rested from His labor.  (See Matthew 14:23; Mark 6:31)

A Sabbath is God’s idea; He instituted it.  The IBM Company, along with others, actually has a sabbatical policy.  I remember as a child that my neighbor’s father would receive a sabbatical from Bethlehem Steel every so many years.   From the Church of God Pastoral Program book comes this statement, “There would seem to be no doubt that many pastors who left ministry would never have made that decision if they had been given the opportunity for some time away from the pressures.  It should also be pointed out that other members of the pastoral family share those same needs to a greater or lesser degree.  Sabbatical planning should always include the family.”

Joe Reynolds, CEO of Red Frog Events has instituted a sabbatical policy for his company and says this about sabbaticals:  Everyone needs to recharge. Frogs (his employees) can disconnect for a full month every five years. A month away allows enough time to come back hungry to tackle the next big project.  Appreciation goes a long way. I give tremendous latitude, sabbaticals included, and it’s appreciated. People who love their job perform better.  They gain perspective.  It helps bring fresh thoughts to the table on your next project.  Valuable family or friend time. Red Frogger’s flat-out work hard. A month away every five years allows time to reconnect with a loved one.  Going outside of your comfort zone elicits unconventional ideas. Being away for a month breed’s creativity. My best ideas come during extended time away.

DOVE International, where I serve, has a sabbatical policy and it is now my time to take that break from normal ministerial and writing duties.  I have written about this subject to you because I am about to embark upon an eight week Sabbath in order to rest, receive some training, “breed creativity,” and hear God for the coming years.  For that reason, I will be back to writing my blog and communicating with you once again this coming September with, hopefully, fresh insight and revelation.  Stay healthy and have a blessed summer!

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Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital

Balancing Life’s Priorities III

There are some concluding areas of life’s priorities that I would like to discuss.  We’ve talked about loving God first, along with loving our spouse and ourselves.  Then we looked at how Jesus maintained His priorities and finally I think it’s vital for us to “check our gauges.”  Years ago cars were made with actual gauges on their dashboards.  These gauges read the oil pressure, the temperature, the vacuum and the amps.  The driver was the only computer on board and monitoring all the gauges was of utmost importance.  As higher demands are placed on marriages and families, our gauges will be indicators of our operating condition.  We simply cannot run on empty.  We must have times of replenishment and disconnection.  The following is a list of areas to look at within your own life, marriage and family in maintaining life’s priorities:

1.  Are you continually serving outside your gift areas?  Paul told Timothy to “Watch your life…closely…”  (I Timothy 4:16)

2.  Pace yourself.  No one can maintain a full-time sprint.

3.  Learn to say “no.” God is not impressed when you say yes to something He has not told you to do or be involved with.

4.  Watch your balance of: work, rest, play and worship.

5.  Take your annual vacation days along with your weekly Sabbath.

6.  Maintain an interest in something fun where you disconnect and have down time.

7.  Keep reading; keep studying; keep learning in order to keep growing.

8.  Learn to share deeply and pray intimately with your spouse and do not avoid counsel when needed.

9.  Maintain dates with your spouse and children.

10. Evaluate.  Take time to evaluate your marriage, family, finances, work, exercise, down time – life as you know it.

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Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital

Balancing Life’s Priorities in Our Marriage II

Life is busy and families have every hour of every day filled with many good things.  As we love God first, there must be a sense of His Lordship within our daily schedules.  How do we know we are to be doing all the things that our work places, our children’s schools, our local municipalities and our local churches require of us?  How did Jesus know what to prioritize with only three and one half years to accomplish His Father’s mission for Him?  Let me pass on to you a few secrets from the life of Jesus in balancing life’s many priorities.

First, Jesus knew who He was and what He was called to.  (John 8: 12-14))  Second, He heard and obeyed His Father’s voice.  (John 8: 28-29)  Third, He rested, took breaks and had fun.  (Matthew 13:1; Mark 1:35; John 2:1-2)  And lastly, He never lost His compassion for mankind.  (Mark 9: 35-36)  Meditate on the above scriptures and ask your heavenly Father how to maintain a similar balance in your life and marriage.

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