Category Archives: Leadership

Encouragement, Leadership, Prayer

Back From a Sabbath Rest

Two months of being totally out of the loop from those whom you serve in ministry or your work place can be a long time.  Eight weeks ago my last blog was that I would disappear from the blogosphere and engage in a healthy Sabbath rest.  It has been an excellent God time, rest time, journal time, training time, reading time, prayer time, centering time and listening time.  I do not regret one single day other than a few unexpected distractions.  Thank you for your patience and allowing me to take this time away.  The following are some of the things I learned or rediscovered on this sabbatical:

 

  • Sabbaths are vital and spoken into our lives here on earth by our heavenly Father.  They are God’s answer to self-depletion.
  • I rediscovered and was forced to face how much of my life is connected to my work, how much I think about it, worry about personal situations and pray for those I serve.
  • I am not the answer.
  • It was refreshing for my Father to gently work me through areas of repentance.
  • It became necessary to push through areas of distraction.
  • How easy and natural abandonment, rejection and un-forgiveness are while how supernatural is the cross, forgiveness and the depth of God’s love and acceptance.
  • How natural fathering/mothering impedes or enhances spiritual fathering/mothering.

There were more areas of a personal nature vital to my own self-discovery, personal wholeness and deepening faith.  Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made to benefit people, and not people to benefit the Sabbath.  And I, the Son of Man, am master even of the Sabbath.”  (Mark 2:27, 28 NLT)  Thank you, Jesus, for being Lord of my Sabbath.

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Encouragement, Leadership

Have You Taken a Sabbath Lately?

Throughout the Old Testament, Sabbaths were observed on different days and observed for different lengths.  A Sabbath was actually from God or designed by God for mankind.  No work was to be done on a Sabbath outside of essential duties like feeding the livestock.  Under the Law the penalty for breaking the Sabbath was a mild one – death.  (It seems there was this random guy gathering wood on a Sabbath and wondering what to do with him the Israelites inquired of the Lord.  God’s reply was that he must die outside the camp – Numbers 15.  Yikes!)  The word Sabbath in Hebrew means to take an intermission or cessation from work.  It is a repose, a desist from exertion in order to seek the Lord and God was quite serious about it.

Jesus said that man was not made for the Sabbath; the Sabbath was made for man (Mark 2:23-28).  The Living Bible states it this way, “But the Sabbath was made to benefit man, and not man to benefit the Sabbath.”  Every creature God created needs rest, a cessation period.  When God said that six days we will work but rest on the seventh He included the hard-working ox and donkey too (Exodus 23:12).  Even today, a wise farmer learns the principle of letting fields be fallow and rest for a season.   No one would be productive working 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Even Jesus rested from His labor.  (See Matthew 14:23; Mark 6:31)

A Sabbath is God’s idea; He instituted it.  The IBM Company, along with others, actually has a sabbatical policy.  I remember as a child that my neighbor’s father would receive a sabbatical from Bethlehem Steel every so many years.   From the Church of God Pastoral Program book comes this statement, “There would seem to be no doubt that many pastors who left ministry would never have made that decision if they had been given the opportunity for some time away from the pressures.  It should also be pointed out that other members of the pastoral family share those same needs to a greater or lesser degree.  Sabbatical planning should always include the family.”

Joe Reynolds, CEO of Red Frog Events has instituted a sabbatical policy for his company and says this about sabbaticals:  Everyone needs to recharge. Frogs (his employees) can disconnect for a full month every five years. A month away allows enough time to come back hungry to tackle the next big project.  Appreciation goes a long way. I give tremendous latitude, sabbaticals included, and it’s appreciated. People who love their job perform better.  They gain perspective.  It helps bring fresh thoughts to the table on your next project.  Valuable family or friend time. Red Frogger’s flat-out work hard. A month away every five years allows time to reconnect with a loved one.  Going outside of your comfort zone elicits unconventional ideas. Being away for a month breed’s creativity. My best ideas come during extended time away.

DOVE International, where I serve, has a sabbatical policy and it is now my time to take that break from normal ministerial and writing duties.  I have written about this subject to you because I am about to embark upon an eight week Sabbath in order to rest, receive some training, “breed creativity,” and hear God for the coming years.  For that reason, I will be back to writing my blog and communicating with you once again this coming September with, hopefully, fresh insight and revelation.  Stay healthy and have a blessed summer!

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Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital

Balancing Life’s Priorities III

There are some concluding areas of life’s priorities that I would like to discuss.  We’ve talked about loving God first, along with loving our spouse and ourselves.  Then we looked at how Jesus maintained His priorities and finally I think it’s vital for us to “check our gauges.”  Years ago cars were made with actual gauges on their dashboards.  These gauges read the oil pressure, the temperature, the vacuum and the amps.  The driver was the only computer on board and monitoring all the gauges was of utmost importance.  As higher demands are placed on marriages and families, our gauges will be indicators of our operating condition.  We simply cannot run on empty.  We must have times of replenishment and disconnection.  The following is a list of areas to look at within your own life, marriage and family in maintaining life’s priorities:

1.  Are you continually serving outside your gift areas?  Paul told Timothy to “Watch your life…closely…”  (I Timothy 4:16)

2.  Pace yourself.  No one can maintain a full-time sprint.

3.  Learn to say “no.” God is not impressed when you say yes to something He has not told you to do or be involved with.

4.  Watch your balance of: work, rest, play and worship.

5.  Take your annual vacation days along with your weekly Sabbath.

6.  Maintain an interest in something fun where you disconnect and have down time.

7.  Keep reading; keep studying; keep learning in order to keep growing.

8.  Learn to share deeply and pray intimately with your spouse and do not avoid counsel when needed.

9.  Maintain dates with your spouse and children.

10. Evaluate.  Take time to evaluate your marriage, family, finances, work, exercise, down time – life as you know it.

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Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital

Balancing Life’s Priorities in Our Marriage II

Life is busy and families have every hour of every day filled with many good things.  As we love God first, there must be a sense of His Lordship within our daily schedules.  How do we know we are to be doing all the things that our work places, our children’s schools, our local municipalities and our local churches require of us?  How did Jesus know what to prioritize with only three and one half years to accomplish His Father’s mission for Him?  Let me pass on to you a few secrets from the life of Jesus in balancing life’s many priorities.

First, Jesus knew who He was and what He was called to.  (John 8: 12-14))  Second, He heard and obeyed His Father’s voice.  (John 8: 28-29)  Third, He rested, took breaks and had fun.  (Matthew 13:1; Mark 1:35; John 2:1-2)  And lastly, He never lost His compassion for mankind.  (Mark 9: 35-36)  Meditate on the above scriptures and ask your heavenly Father how to maintain a similar balance in your life and marriage.

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Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital, Singles

Saying,“I do,” What Happens at a Wedding

The mystery of two becoming one begins with a confession of two simple words, “I do.”  After almost 38 years of marriage, Mary and I “still do.”  This past Easter Sunday I watched as my mother and father-in-law held hands to pray over their meal together.  After 71 years of marriage, they “still do.”  Little did we understand those two, almost insignificant, words at our marriage ceremony, but here’s a bit of insight into what they actually mean or will mean when you speak them.

Prior to the wedding ceremony, both the man and the woman are under the authority of another(s) – their parents.  When saying, “I do,” there is an exchange of authority in order to leave and cleave.  The father and mother give their daughter away and there is a name change.  There is an exchange of possessions.  What is his is now also hers and what is hers becomes his.  There is a releasing of singleness so that in mind, body, soul and spirit two become one.  All past dating relationships are left in order to cling to this one and only this one.  There is a new sense of responsibility for another.  There is a new sense of submission and giving of oneself for another.  Two now embrace all expenses and debt brought into the marriage. There are many additional family and friend relationships taken on.  Finally, while perhaps not realized at the time, two very different people will grow and change over the course of time as they live life and walk out those two simple words, “I do.”

Why don’t you send your spouse a card today and let them know you “still do.”

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Leadership

Letter from an Antagonist

I received a letter the other day from a man I do not know.  It was four pages long and seemed to be somewhat of form letter personally addressed to me.  He was going on and on about the fact that some are preaching we “must give up our rights… as our rights have been nailed to the cross.”  He went on to say how he was challenging those “authorities” who teach this “misleading” doctrine in question as to, “the severity of the judgment these authorities will ultimately face for so deceiving them in His Name…”

Perhaps you also receive letters like these.  I have no idea where he got my name or why he wants to pick a fight with me.  In his next to last paragraph he then throws out this challenge, “Therefore: I will give one thousand dollars to the first person, or group of people who can sit down with me face to face and respectfully present…irrefutable scriptures…give written proof…detailing precisely what rights they are talking about…”  Wanna make a quick thousand bucks?  In other words, “I know I am right and will throw out a financial challenge to prove I am right.”  Really?  Does this person actually deserve my time to respond to him?  Don’t answer that question, I will.  No.  But I thought it all presented a great example for us as to what not to do and how not to respond.

But, if I did respond, here is what I would (like) say:

Dear Mr. Antagonist,

 Regarding your letter…   I have no idea who you are or why you sent it to me.  I have no idea what “rights” you are talking about.  I have no idea who the “authorities” are that you are referencing.  Unfortunately these types of responses, letters, challenges on doctrine, etc. only breed contention and dissension, of which we are warned to stay away from (Proverbs 10:12; 17:19; Galatians 5:19-21; II Timothy 2:23, 24).  I have a suggestion.  Why don’t you use your time to stop fighting the saved and start winning the lost?  And, while you’re mulling over that question, ask yourself this question, “Do I want to be right or do I want to be in relationship with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ?”

 Sincerely wrong in more areas than I am right,

 Steve Prokopchak

 Just sayin’…

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Leadership, Marriage

Sacrificing Your Marriage and Family for Jesus

My wife and I were happy to be traveling north for the weekend, anticipating a couples’ retreat with complete strangers.  We love the opportunity to meet new people and stay with local church leaders that we have never met and learn from them.  What we “learned” was less than hoped for.  As we sat with this leadership couple they began to take advantage of these “outsiders” and opened up to us about their marriage.  What they revealed was jaw dropping.

It seems that as a pastor his primary goal was to be a “success.”  Success to him was a large church and to grow a large church, he believed, would mean sacrificing his marriage and his family.  “After all,” he reasoned, “Jesus wants us to put Him first and if sacrificing your family to serve Jesus is what one must do to be a successful pastor, then so be it.”  What was left after thirty some years was a broken wife and distant adult children who had no relationship with their dad or their dad’s God.  This leadership couple was now totally separated emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually.  His wife hated her husband’s mistress, the church, and decided she would no longer be a pastor’s wife but a schoolteacher.  They were divorced in every sense of the word, living single under the same roof.  ”He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey with proper respect.  If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church.”  (I Timothy 3: 4,5)  In this New Year, take the time to clearly hear from Jesus what He has called you to sacrifice; your spouse and your children are not one of them.

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Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital

Silence is Not Always Golden

James tells us that the tongue can be a fire.  He says it can corrupt our whole person.  The tongue can praise or it can curse.   But there is something else it can do – it can be silent.  There are times in marriage when silence is as wrong as speaking curse-filled words.  It is evil when we are avoiding speaking good toward another or we are avoiding communication altogether, causing our spouse to suffer through the awkwardness of silence.   You know in your heart if your silence is meant to be malicious.  It is one thing to retreat and not speak so that healing can take place, but it is another when we selfishly refuse to speak.

I discovered during my pre-engagement years with Mary that she was a communicator; she loved to talk and relate to people.  I, on the other hand, would rather let others do the talking.  After marriage in my immaturity and my selfishness, I discovered that I could use silence to hurt her if I felt wronged.   I knew Mary needed me to talk and if I didn’t respond it would frustrate her.  To grow up and change I had to study her and enter into her world of communication.  I had to discover her frame of reference.  I had to receive the revelation that my silence was selfish manipulation and not godly leadership.  Today we have found that balance of talking and listening and honoring one another in our differences.  And today, at times, I might use as many words as she does.

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Children, Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital, Singles

Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak

We are told that we can speak 125 – 150 words a minute, but typically we think around 300 words a minute.  Those numbers themselves provide an inward conflict with the act of listening.  High school and college campus’s run courses on public speaking, but when is the last time you had the opportunity to sign up for a public listening course?  Most of us want to talk and be listened to rather than take the concentration needed to stop and really hear someone.  I heard someone say recently that hearing is a function of the ear, but listening is a function of your will.

When we listen we are exercising an expression of love.  We are saying this person is important enough to me to be listened to.  Proverbs has a way of cutting to the chase when it says, “ He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.”  (Proverbs 18:13)  If we are constantly interrupting our spouse in order to interject our “important” thought, we have stopped listening and are thinking about our reply.  Do you realize people pay counselors $150.00 and more for fifty minutes of their time and feel better when leaving their office?  Some even fall in love with their therapist just because they feel validated and cared for.  What was the therapist’s secret?  He/she listened.  James admonished us to be quick to listen and slow to speak…pretty good advice for 2013.  Try it; you’ll be amazed at the results.

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Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital

Loving Women/Respecting Men II

An interesting concept in scripture is when a man desires to be an overseer.  There are some Biblical guidelines and character traits given, one of which is found in I Timothy where it says, “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.”  A man will struggle with his job, his family and his ministry if he feels a lack of respect from those whom he relates to.  When a man feels more respect from his guy friends, his job or hanging out at the fire company rather than his home you will find him desiring to spend the bulk of his time at these places.  Further, when a man experiences a put down in public, he will feel disrespect.

On the other hand, when a woman experiences a put down, she will feel a lack of love.  If she feels that lack of love from her husband, she will begin to separate herself from him emotionally in an effort to protect herself.  Loving your wife through loving acts of service, loving words and physical touches of love will draw her closer to your heart.  When a father expresses love to his daughter and a mother expresses respect to her son, those parents will reach into the very core of their child calling forth their womanhood and their manhood.  Men, ask your wife in what ways can you grow in your expressions of love toward her.  Women, ask your husband in what ways can you grow in showing and expressing respect and honor.   And, please, start by sharing one way, not twenty.

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