Category Archives: Parents

Encouragement, Marriage, Parents, Postmarital

Oh, Those Cutting Remarks

I heard a pretty humorous story that went something like the following. A wife was begging her husband to take her to her High School reunion of 25 years. Reluctantly, he finally gave in to the idea that he also knew was going to be a bust for him. After meeting a few of her friends and former classmates, he just sat at the table yawning, alone and bored to death. Pretty soon the band hired for the evening cranks up and a few persons are beginning to dance. But there is this one character that is on the dance floor just living it up large, break dancing, moon dancing, back flips…the works. Soon his wife returns to their table, sits beside her husband, leans over and says, “See that awesome ‘life of the party’ guy up there?” “Well, 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” Abruptly her husband turns to her and quips, “Looks like he’s still celebrating!images-8

Funny? Yes, but cutting. How often have you used humor to bring some kind of indirect and at times hurtful message to your spouse? I have been guilty of it I’m sorry to say. When you make fun of or put down your spouse, you are making fun of and putting yourself down. You are one. There are plenty of hurts already coming from relatives, the work place and others. You and I do not need to “pile on.” Cutting remarks do not change anyone, they are embarrassing, belittling and are words of death. Jesus said it this way, “The Spirit gives life…the words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.” Speak words of life today to your spouse, to your children, to your co-workers and to your neighbors.

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Parents, Premarital, Singles

Pornography and Singleness

images-5Pornography will affect your marriage even if you are still single and waiting for your spouse.  If you start viewing pornography, or when you view it, keep in mind that through mental stamping of the brain (that brain wash of chemicals when viewing porn) you will mentally carry many of those images for the rest of your life. While that may seem like a long time and impossible, I can still remember from my pre-teen years some of the images I saw in magazines that I found along the road while leisurely riding my bike on warm summer days.

If you desire a healthy sex life one day with the man or woman who God so generously gives to you, then stay far, far away from pornography today.  By staying away now, you won’t need to confess involvement to the future love of your life. By avoiding the temptation of pornography now, you begin to establish trust in this area with your future life mate.  Your mind will be more free and far more pure from sexual lust.  You will not have to deal with sexual shame.  Your marriage bed can be free of mental comparisons and images that only bring hurt and damage to your future love-making.  You will live in a greater sense of freedom today and in the future.  And, your future spouse will feel so honored that you chose not to bring destructive thoughts and images into your marriage bed.images-7

I love these verses that Paul writes under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit: But since there is so much immortality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each another except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (I Cor. 7: 2-5) Honor God and honor your body for the one that you will one day show honor to.

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