Category Archives: Training

Premarital, Singles, Training

Finding a Life Mate: The Character Traits Worth Looking For #9

This is the ninth in a series of what traits to look for in a life mate.  While the following sets a high standard, one that perhaps few will initially reach, each area identified is an important character trait to look for and inquire about as you consider a lifelong marriage partner.

9.  Does this person walk in accountability (continued)?  Does this person have a mentoring relationship with a pastor or other spiritual leader, someone they have given authority to speak into his/her life, to provide challenge and correction?  Is he/she mentoring others?  Is he/she committed to a local church fellowship?  Can you speak into his/her life freely and can this person receive your input?  Is this person accountable with personal possessions, finances and their spiritual disciplines?  Do you feel any ongoing resistance when it comes to the discipline of accountability or submission to spiritual authority? (Hebrews 4:13)

Humility is a sign of maturity and it takes humility to realize ones need of personal accountability and mentoring.  None of us know it all.  At this stage of life, spiritual mentoring through spiritual parents is invaluable.   Many years ago I had a spiritual father who met with me monthly, read what I was writing, asked me targeted questions and held my feet to the fire in loving God, God’s family and the family God gave me.  I knew the value of this relationship from my days of living single and needing mentors in my life.  To date, this life coaching has never stopped and I refuse to live without accountability in all I do.  There is tremendous safety in it.  It is partly why Mary and I celebrate 36 years of marriage tomorrow!  Commitment to a local church, an overseer/spiritual parent and personal accountability (through someone who is willing to ask us the hard questions), as we walk through life, keeps a spirit of resistance (to challenge and change) at bay and reinforces our walk with humility.

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Leadership, Small Groups, Training

Opinions Vs. Convictions

To all my friends who are leaders entertaining the many requests and opinions of others…a little life experience to you.

Have you ever gotten tired of the opinions of others concerning worship,  your messages, small groups,  the elders,  the chair set up and your son’s latest tattoo?  How come everyone has given themselves the job of making sure you are aware of what it is they like and do not like at your local church?  Everyone has an opinion about their brother or sister and how they make decisions for themselves.  Everyone likes to have your ear when it comes to their personal thoughts and direction for you, the elders and the church.  How do we wade through it all?  Who is right and who is wrong?  Do we just close ourselves off and not listen or become numb to it all?

 Jesus was at a Feast one day as recorded in John chapter 7.  He sent  his disciples ahead and then traveled there in secret.  People were talking about Him at the Feast and He began to teach them.  He said something that really stood out to me the other day in my devotional time.  In verse 16 He revealed that His teaching was from the Father, it was not His own.  He then said if we choose to do God’s will, we will find out if His teaching is from God (conviction) or simply from Himself (opinion).  And then verse 18…”He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself (opinion), but he who works for the honor of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him (conviction).”  It hit me that He was addressing opinions versus convictions. 

 What do I mean?  An opinion according to this verse is to preserve one’s own thoughts and ideas, to gain honor for oneself.  It is made up of this worlds wisdom.  It is spoken at times to protect the one sharing the opinion.  A conviction, however, is spoken to protect the integrity of another; to honor what another has spoken as truth.  An opinion can be offered in true humility and be very helpful, but a conviction is spoken from the spirit because of a greater truth one feels compelled to uphold.  I would not die for my opinions, but I would for my convictions deeply rooted in my faith.

 May the Author of the Holy Scriptures reveal His truth to you today, as well as, His insight and discernment to determine the difference in the many opinions that come your way versus the spoken convictions of truth.

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