This is the ninth in a series of what traits to look for in a life mate. While the following sets a high standard, one that perhaps few will initially reach, each area identified is an important character trait to look for and inquire about as you consider a lifelong marriage partner.
9. Does this person walk in accountability (continued)? Does this person have a mentoring relationship with a pastor or other spiritual leader, someone they have given authority to speak into his/her life, to provide challenge and correction? Is he/she mentoring others? Is he/she committed to a local church fellowship? Can you speak into his/her life freely and can this person receive your input? Is this person accountable with personal possessions, finances and their spiritual disciplines? Do you feel any ongoing resistance when it comes to the discipline of accountability or submission to spiritual authority? (Hebrews 4:13)
Humility is a sign of maturity and it takes humility to realize ones need of personal accountability and mentoring. None of us know it all. At this stage of life, spiritual mentoring through spiritual parents is invaluable. Many years ago I had a spiritual father who met with me monthly, read what I was writing, asked me targeted questions and held my feet to the fire in loving God, God’s family and the family God gave me. I knew the value of this relationship from my days of living single and needing mentors in my life. To date, this life coaching has never stopped and I refuse to live without accountability in all I do. There is tremendous safety in it. It is partly why Mary and I celebrate 36 years of marriage tomorrow! Commitment to a local church, an overseer/spiritual parent and personal accountability (through someone who is willing to ask us the hard questions), as we walk through life, keeps a spirit of resistance (to challenge and change) at bay and reinforces our walk with humility.