Number Six: Praying Together
Sex is not the most intimate act within marriage. Does that statement surprise you? Today it seems that it takes very little commitment to another person before experiencing a sexual encounter. The intimacy of sex in the way God created it for us has been stolen by an enemy who counterfeits everything holy and pure. After 37 years of marriage and speaking to literally hundreds of couples, we have come to believe that the most intimate act within marriage is for a husband and a wife to come together in united prayer to their heavenly Father. To bow our heads and hearts in one accord means that we have put our differences behind us; as partners we come united in agreement without fear and without competition and we exercise faith in Someone greater than ourselves and our abilities.
Prayer is intimate and thus many couples have forfeited couple prayer for prayer with a same sex friend or prayer partner. Disclosing our hearts in prayer, sharing our deepest desires, sorrows and aspirations is an act of revealing spirit to spirit to Spirit. “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 18:19) Early on in our relationship we discovered that we could fight and argue or pray and agree – both are very powerful. We also discovered that prayer brings security to my wife and honor to me as her husband. Where to begin if you are not praying together:
Take five minutes in the morning or as you close the day and pray.
Do not pray at one another, but for one another.
Start praying by giving thanks for all God has done and is doing.
Do not “out pray” your partner. Keep it balanced and simple.
Start small and allow it to grow over time until you discover the need to pray.
Hold hands while you are praying.
Disclose your heart to your heavenly Father and find agreement with your earthly life mate.
Watch your prayer lives grow as you ride in the car together, as you turn off the TV, put down the book or turn off the computer, as you sit with one another in the morning or holding one another at night to pray, pray, pray.
2. Does this person love and accept you as you are? Do you get the feeling at times that he/she is attempting to change you? Does he/she accept those physical and personality traits with which you were born, or do you feel an underlying need to change yourself to try to please him/her? While love is not blind, it accepts what cannot be changed and gives grace for what can be changed. Romans 15: 7 says, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Christ has accepted you as you are. You need not try to change yourself to be accepted, let Him do the changing for He has already accepted you. You cannot earn His acceptance or His approval because you already have it… before you do anything.
Steve Prokopchak 