I read this scripture early one morning this week, “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)
Seven Nonreligious Reasons to NOT Live Together Before You Say “I Do”
“In a nationwide survey conducted in 2001 by the National Marriage Project, then at Rutgers and now at the University of Virginia, nearly half of 20-somethings agreed with the statement, “You would only marry someone if he or she agreed to live together with you first, so that you could find out whether you really get along.” About two-thirds said they believed that moving in together before marriage was a good way to avoid divorce.” *
Oh, the Choices We Make
How many choices do you think you make in a day? Choices like: what time we’ll get up from our warm and cozy beds, how much coffee we’ll drink, whether or not we’ll engage in a devotional time and so on. Those examples are pretty common or simple, but there are more difficult choices we make quite frequently as well.
A Lemon Law for Your Marriage
Being a used car dealer on the side since 1996, I am familiar with the well-known Lemon Law in our country, the USA. Basically, if you have repeated issues noted by your new car dealer over a certain period of time you are able to claim Lemon Law status and turn the car back in to the dealer. It’s a bit more complicated, but you get the idea.
A Crisis of Faith
I have been encountering more and more people who are listing their top excuse for walking away from an active relationship with God as a personal “crisis of faith.” A crisis of faith typically follows a disappointment with God. In some form or fashion, God did not show up for them, or so they think.
21 Books You Don’t Have to Read
The April 19, 2018, edition of GQ magazine had an article titled: 21 Books You Don’t Have to Read. The author included books like: The Old Man and the Sea; Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and even The Lord of the Rings.
Becoming a Mentor Couple
We have come face-to-face with so many different life problems while involved in pre- and postmarital counseling with engaged couples. For example, a young woman’s sexual abuse as a child; a young man’s addiction to pornography; pregnancy; extreme debt; the recent loss of a parent and more. These couples found themselves facing huge life challenges before saying “I do.”
Every couple we have ever faced presented new issues, new challenges. Walking them through these life challenges was our privilege as premarital counselors. We were not serving them as professionals, but rather as a mentor couple, and spiritual parents. What an honor to walk with them, to pray with them and then to see answers to our prayers together. It was a learning experience for them and for my wife and me.
Life has its twists and turns, but when you are able to walk alongside someone else serving and supporting them through those times, you are actually helping them to make it, to be successful and to grow toward maturity. Our book, Called Together, is a resource to enable other 
couples to do exactly this.
If you and your spouse have a heart to enter this type of ministry, we have a suggestion for you. You can take our free four-part training found on YouTube or you can attend our live training scheduled for February 22 at Westgate Church in Ephrata, PA. I will leave the live links on the bottom of this blog.
We have been involved in this ministry for many years and find great satisfaction and challenge in it. Walking couples through their histories, their likes and dislikes, their hurts and their joys, all the while, moving toward marriage is simply a satisfying venture. Helping to build a firm foundation for their future in the areas of communication, finances, sex and so much more brings with it a certain satisfaction. As well, we schedule several postmarital check-ups with them after they say “I do.” Follow-up is, as they say, where the rubber meets the road.
Money Issues are Ultimately Heart Issues
Someone once said that money issues are ultimately heart issues. Perhaps that is most likely true as Jesus spoke it this way, “For where you treasure is there your heart will be also.”
Consumer debt, financial mistakes and overcharging can simply be exposing a heart that is not seeking first God’s resources, God’s answers and God’s kingdom. It might be trusting me more than trusting Him. The Apostle Paul shared that he knew how to live with much and he knew how to live with little. The key was walking in contentment.
It is well known that Mother Teresa’s earthly possessions could be carried about in a five-gallon bucket, but at the same time she believed God for millions of dollars to run her organizations that existed all over the world. One could easily identify her heart when it came to money.
I once counseled someone who was $30,000 in debt created by an addiction to internet pornography. One could easily identify that heart as well.
How about you? Where is your heart when it comes to money? Who owns your bank accounts, your IRA’s and your home? Making investments for a financial return vs. creating consumer debt is wise, but making eternal deposits into the lives of others is wiser still.
When We Should Just “Shut up” in Marriage
Are there times in marriage when we simply should not be communicating or using more words? I want to propose that there are those times and we should use them wisely. The book of Ecclesiastes reveals, “…A time to be quiet and a time to speak.”
Consider these five times that silence just might be described as golden.
- When your partner desires some quiet time or some alone time.
- When a disagreement is getting out of hand, it most likely is a good time for a communication time out.
- When one partner is feeling a bit snarky, it’s best not to respond.
- When an ongoing issue keeps surfacing we may need to back off and give it some time, or agree to disagree.
- When it’s time to close our day and go to sleep.
Use your quiet times wisely because sometimes, “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.” Proverbs 17:28
Do You Have a Dream(s) for 2020?
Joseph was just a teenager of 17. He received two significant dreams that he foolishly, and in a bit of arrogance, shared with his family. Of course, if you know the story, his brothers hated him for the content of those dreams and for expressing them. (Genesis 37:1-11)
It would be another 20 or so years until those dreams became reality. During those years he experienced some really low periods, like jail time in a king’s dungeon for a false accusation. But Joseph held onto his dreams from God.
A dream is a direction that you feel led toward from your spirit, not your head. It typically incorporates your personal bent and gifts. When God sparks a dream in your heart, it’s difficult to let it go. I have experienced many dreams/visions fulfilled over my 65 years. As I look back, I am in awe of what my heavenly Father has brought about. That said, I also believe there are still many more dreams to be fulfilled. It takes a dream, a vision from the Lord to move you on.
It’s not that we’re discontent, for if we are, we’ll most likely remain where we’re presently at for some time. Dreams are from God about what’s next, what He’s preparing you for and that means you need to finish what you’re doing. We need to complete it well, with integrity and no burned bridges. There is something about completing a vision or taking it as far as God desires you to. We must find contentment in what our Father has given our hands to do. Godliness with contentment is great gain. (I Timothy 6:6)
Author Steve Addison wrote, “Discontent without vision leads to cynicism, but a dream without action is a fantasy.” 
God downloads a life-giving dream into your spirit, you begin to consciously see it and either meditate on what the Father is saying or begin excusing why the thought couldn’t be God and dismiss it. If we have our eyes on his present circumstances only, we’ll feel as though Joseph missed God or God missed Joseph. Not so. Life was happening to Joseph, but all for a reason.
God was wasting nothing. His plan was coming about. In Genesis 45 we see that Joseph’s heart was broken as his brothers knelt before him and he sobbed uncontrollably. Did he miss his brothers? Yes. Did he miss his father? Yes. But perhaps that is not why he was crying. Maybe, just maybe, he was crying because the dream he had as a child was being fulfilled, before his very own eyes. Nothing was amiss or awry. God did not mess up or forget one single detail. All those years of suffering now melted away with purpose and fulfillment. All those years of not knowing about his homeland or his family while in Egypt, are now history with the exuberance of a fulfilled dream taking place before him.
Do you have a dream? Is there something inside of you? Is there something you are passionate about to pursue? If not, ask God for a dream, a vision from Him. Give your dreams a place in your prayer life. Write down what you hear your Father speak to you and write down the answers He reveals. As Habakkuk 2:2 says – “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.” 
We have a brand-new year ahead of us – 2020. Maybe you gave up on a dream or thought it too lofty; consider re-digging those wells. Give thanks for the many fulfilled dreams in your life and expect, anticipate many more. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12 NLT)
Dream on!
Steve Prokopchak 