Encouragement, Issues of the Day

Contentment Is Now, Not When

Maybe you already know this, but I’m in my sixties. Seems a bit weird to even write that line, but I love this stage of life; it has a certain…appeal to it. You get to hear the statement, “I already gave you the senior discount.” I also hear this comment all too frequently, “Your wife looks younger than you.” To which I normally reply, “Yes, she does, but she’s actually older than me.”

 

So, yes, I’m old(er), but I also have to tell you, I am content and the benefits of contentment far outweigh discontentment. Discontentment brings with it distrust, unhappiness and the lack of feeling settled. There is this overall sentiment of…someday. Someday I’ll have what I need. Someday I‘ll be comfortable. Someday I’ll get to travel. Or, someday I’ll have that dream job.

 

To be in a perpetual state of discontentment is like fishing everyday and never catching a fish; there’s just something missing. You read the book, bought a rod and a reel, have the correct bait, but nothing seems to be working. It’s a proverbial irritation, a low-lying discomfort.

 

Discontentment is fueled by comparison as you continually find yourself coming up short or feeling insignificant. In discontentment you have a closet full of clothing, but it’s always one suit short. Discontentment means you’re never driving the car you really want to drive (I mean that literally and metaphorically).

 

Decades of life do not bring contentment; they bring experience and wisdom, if you’re pursuing maturity. There’s this realization that things, all things, take a back seat to satisfaction and acceptance. Contentment knows when enough is enough and less is more. Contentment cares less about the gift and more about the giver. Contentment is the importance of a personal note in your Hallmark card or the text message that simply reads, “I love you.”

 

“Contentment is now, not when.” That is the word of revelation God spoke to me one evening while driving home from my office many years ago. I choose contentment today over discontentment. My Father has given me everything I need and I can trust Him for everything needed in the future. Contentment is the state of my heart.

You too can choose to live in contentment in 2018. It’s a brand new year with brand new opportunities.

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Children, Encouragement, Parents

A Special Christmas Video For You

For my Christmas blog I decided to share with you my grandson’s favorite Christmas video.  I hope you enjoy it as much as he does, because he insists on watching it over and over and over.  Maybe you won’t watch it repeatedly, but I trust you’ll enjoy the Christmas message it brings.

Thank you for a wonderful year of responses to what I have written on a weekly basis.  I do enjoy your feedback and look forward to a brand new year of sharing with you. Have a very merry Christmas with you and yours.  Enjoy the celebration of the birth of our Savior!

 

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Leadership

How Important Is It To Take a Sabbatical?

Should we wait until our leaders are experiencing physical, emotional and spiritual exhaustion in their lives before we develop a sabbatical policy for our local church or ministry? In a New York Times article titled, “Taking a Break from the Lord’s Work” (Aug. 1, 2010), Paul Vitello wrote, “Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen.”

Leaders are failing and quitting at alarming rates. Do they need proper financial support? Yes. Do they need vacations? Yes. Do they need time with their families? Yes. But, is this enough? Could these failures be a direct result of depleted spirits, drained emotions and not enough rest? Could the lack of healthy recharging today have something to do with those untimely failures affecting so many lives?

Leaders burn out and leaders need intervention. Leaders get into unhealthy life patterns in order to serve others and miss out or set aside certain godly disciplines that will help to maintain their personal health. A two to three-month sabbatical can change that when the right plan is attached.

For Biblical insights into a plan, how to take a sabbatical and the four-step process of a healthy sabbatical, see or recommend the book, The Value Of A Sabbatical, Refocusing Your Life for a Healthy Future. You can order it here.

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day

What God Delights In

Quite a number of years ago I fell in love with a couple of verses found in the Old Testament from the prophet Jeremiah. This man of God heard the Holy Spirit whisper in his ear these words:

This is what the Lord says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on the earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord.

 This verse often surfaced in counseling sessions. It often came to mind when I thought I accomplished something. And it made an appearance from my spirit when personal priorities seemed a bit awry. I am unsure how these verses hit you, but our boast cannot be in our wisdom, our strength or our riches. These are areas that this world looks to first and in a desperate attempt, hopes to develop a psychology of acceptance, approval and identity.

While God gives us certain gifts and abilities, what He truly desires from His creation is that we know and understand who He is. He is the One who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness in each and every one of our lives.

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Issues of the Day, Just for fun

13 Things to Consider when Purchasing Your Next Car

Here’s a really practical, tip-filled article to help you with your next car purchase (pass it along to your friends). In 1996 I helped to start a car business with a friend and I have been purchasing cars for people ever since.  I love providing this service and am amazed at what people do not know when it comes to a car purchase.  Maybe you have something to add to the list, feel free to comment.

 

  1.  Look for or find an honest licensed car dealer who also does custom orders/purchases directly from dealer-only auctions.  They can find what you desire and not have to necessarily run it through the expensive prep of their retail lot. It is a more direct/custom purchase.

 

  1. Cars do lose value; we all know that.  But there are brands that lose less value.  For example, the number one selling car in the world is a Toyota Corolla.  This car will maintain a relatively decent value.  Honda’s are similar.  You want to go luxury?  Try Lexus or Acura, they will not lose their value nearly as quickly as say, a BMW or Audi.

 

  1. Save cash for your car. Cash purchasers almost always make better deals. But, if you absolutely have to loan money, find a credit union.  Locally we have credit unions with interest rates of 1.49% for used cars.

 

  1. Buy used from a dealer who can also repair your car.  They will normally stand behind the sale.  That said, stay away from the TV guy who says, “Buy here, pay here, even if you have no job.”  That dealer will be charging you an exorbitant interest rate.

 

  1. Another idea.  Locate a “wholesaler.”  This is a person who purchases used trade-ins from large dealerships and who prepares them for wholesale, dealer only auctions.  Now before anyone rejects auctions as the place for “junk,” please understand that every dealer you know uses them.  It is how the used car business operates today.  Most every retired rental car and post lease car heads to auction to be sold to the highest bidder.

 

  1. Find a dealer who still has a “90-day unit.”  Most large volume dealers will send their 90-day units to the auction to sell. If they do not, it looks like they are not selling/moving cars.  They will pick up new cars at the auction(s) while they are also selling these units.  The dealer would rather sell to Joe Public at a discounted rate because at auction they will often lose money on the vehicle.

 

  1. Negotiate a price.  If the deal is a non-negotiable offer, be sure to check on floor mats and the most recent state inspection.  While you’re at it, ask for the “dealer fee” to be dropped or renegotiate it.

 

  1. DO NOT blindly trust Carfax or similar Internet reports.  I have seen cars at auction that have had serious repairs while the Carfax states the car is “accident free.”  Someone with a good eye, a body shop guy, a really good mechanic can tell if the car was in an accident.  There will almost always be paint indicators of such work.  By the way, it is really difficult today to find a used car that has not had some kind of fender bender, but I look for that car that was hit in the rear or the backside vs. the front.

 

  1. Talk to people; they are your best resource.  Find that gently used car that belonged to someone’s grandma who no longer drives.  You can also find these cars at estate sales.  It is not a surefire deal, but at least you know if the car was maintained properly or not.

 

  1. Before trading your car, go to KBB.com and check the “trade-in” price.  It will give you an index to work with.  I tell most people, don’t trade your car, sell it outright and you will most likely do better without a trade.

 

  1. The very best time to purchase a car is at the end of the year, the last three weeks of December.  The second best time is at the end of a quarter and the third best time is at the end of the month.  These are times where dealers are doing everything they can to sell greater inventory in order to post higher sales numbers.

 

  1. Pray.  Ask God.  Be patient and be in agreement if you’re married.  Wait for the best deal, there are tons of cars out there.

 

  1. And lastly, avoid “in season” purchases.  What does that mean?  If your part of the country is approaching winter, it is THE WORST time to buy a four-wheel drive.  Purchase those coming out of winter when dealers are attempting to dump them.  If it’s vacation time, hold off on that new van, everybody wants one in that season and it drives the market price up.

There you have it. I hope these practical words of advice help you in your next vehicle purchase. Happy shopping!

Bonus: Often persons ask me about “flood cars.” These cars are not allowed to be sold at dealer auctions, but if they slip through be sure to ask the dealer where the car was last titled (its life history). Then do the smell test. A car that was detailed after a flood condition will always smell moist or stale (sour). If the car is sitting in the sun (and it should be), moisture might gather on parts of the window glass — another indicator. Cars can recover from floods, but if the total interior is not removed (including the complete dash unit) and cleaned, the stench will remain. If you suspect something is wrong, you can request that the dealership remove an interior door panel to look for signs of water damage.

 

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Prayer

Remember in the Dark What You Learned in the Light

Over decades of suffering from the disease of glaucoma, my 94-year-old father is now completely blind. Of course, it is a life challenge, but I have learned something through his blindness that applies to my spiritual life.

Having had sight, he was familiar with his surroundings and that’s helpful now that he is blind. He doesn’t see, but he knows where everything is in his house. He is familiar with the setting and remembers how to “see” and get around even though his world is dark. He knows where every wall is, where every chair is located and how to get to the refrigerator or use the bathroom. He knows these things from having walked in the light.

When life feels dark or prayer seems to go unanswered, remember what you learned in the light – remember where and how to walk. Don’t let the darkness you feel fool you; it’s only temporary. Keep moving and “see” in the spirit because we walk by faith and not by sight.

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Leadership, Training

Helping You Help Others

I’ve dedicated and spent most of my adult life in some form of counseling profession, e.g., foster parent, group home leader, social worker, marriage and family counselor and overseer. My foundational basis of counsel has always been the word of God. The truths found in this book have radically changed my life from the inside out, so why wouldn’t these same truths change the lives of others? And it is on that basis that a number of years ago I put together a book that lists those scriptures and connects them to specific areas of need.

We called it, Counseling Basics, Helping You Help Others. In it we look at the roots of issues in our lives. We consider the counseling process – the process of change. Then we cover specific areas like: depression, stress, co-dependency, anger and emotional wounds. Chapter after chapter lists scriptural responses to more than a dozen areas that affect most of our lives or the lives of those we love and care about.

The truths of the scriptures never grow old, never loses their power and are never outdated. You can trust these truths for yourself and in helping others. I love God’s word and I trust that you do as well. It is more current than tomorrow’s newspaper. After all, The Counselor authored these words of counsel.

You can find and order this book here.

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Encouragement, In the news, Issues of the Day, Leadership

Is Judge Roy Moore Guilty?

Is Judge Roy Moore guilty? Yes, he is. But then, so are you and I because we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. I do not know about any current accusations against him, but I pray he tells the truth for his sake and for the sake of the women who are accusing him.

I bring this topic up because this blog is less about the currently accused and more about how we are living our daily lives. There are accusations being leveled against so many presently in the US and it seems that almost daily a new story spreads to the nation through the press. It’s difficult to imagine, but in each report the accusations could be decades old.

Time doesn’t change sin or misconduct, it only delays the inevitable — it will surface. So here is the first warning: How we live our life today will affect our integrity tomorrow. Someone once said that it takes years to build a reputation of integrity and only minutes to destroy it. Sin always has a way of surfacing. “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9)

Secondly, know that the ungodly in this world do not like your integrity and will desire to destroy it. Why? Your righteousness reminds them they may not be walking in truth and righteousness. Proverbs 29 says this, “Bloodthirsty men hate a man of integrity and seek to kill the upright.” (V. 10)

One more Proverb worth mentioning, “ The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.“ (Proverbs 11:3)

It seems wrong to be guilty until proven innocent, but innocence is a very rare commodity today.

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Children, Encouragement, Parents

That’s You; That’s Me in His Sight

I was recently able to spend the greater part of a week with my newest grandson, Phoenix. Yep, my baby girl had a baby boy and she is a GREAT mother to him.

Young Phoenix is helpless and that’s how God gives new life to us as parents. God places these precious ones into our hands and we have to teach them in every conceivable way, helping them to thrive. The only thing Phoenix really knows to do and do well is to cry. He has discovered that crying gets attention and attention is what a newborn desperately needs.

I couldn’t help but watch my daughter’s love and joy around this little guy, mothering him, happily doing everything for him even when it’s 4:00 AM. She told me in conversation, “All he does is sleep and eat, poop and cry and we LOVE him.”

I remember those days…perhaps you do as well. To love someone so much and yet the only return you get, you desire, is that they breathe the breath of life. Your acceptance of them is based not on their performance, but on their mere existence.

That’s you; that’s me in the Father’s sight, before we accomplish anything He loves us, approves of us and treasures us. We are His “treasured possession.” (See Deuteronomy 7:6)

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Encouragement, Issues of the Day

Honoring Our Veterans

Sitting in Chicago O’Hare airport helping my parents travel back from their granddaughter’s wedding in California, an American Airlines worker in his flight line overalls stopped in front of my, then, 89 year-old father. What he did next surprised all of us, not the least of whom was my Dad. Down on one knee, directly in front of him, he said, “Sir, did you serve in WWII?” My father answered, “Yes, I did, I was in the Army.” This young man continued, “Thank you, sir, for your service. It is because of men like you that I was able to immigrate here with my parents.” As quickly as he came, he left. My father was clearly taken aback, but appreciative of the sincere remarks he just heard.

Like my Dad, I too spent four years in the military during the Vietnam conflict. I am proud of my years of service. I enjoyed my time learning, growing as a man and sharing my faith with anyone who would listen. It was a great time of my life, not always easy, but well worth it.

Do you know a veteran? Thank them for their service and let them know you appreciate living in a country full of freedoms that they helped to protect.

And, any veterans who are reading this, I thank you for your sacrificial service for our nation!

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