This is the seventh in a series of what traits to look for in a life mate. While the following sets a high standard, one that perhaps few will initially reach, each area identified is an important character trait to look for and inquire about as you consider a lifelong marriage partner.
7. Is this person free to remain single? To truly be free to marry one day, one must possess the true peace, contentment and freedom to remain single. (I Timothy 6:6) This does not mean that you have the gift of singleness, but that you embrace, enjoy and walk in contentment with your status as a single person until the day arrives when you say, “I do.” Is this person pursuing marriage or pursuing maturity? Mature persons, when married, tend to remain married and are better able to work through difficult issues. Immature persons pursue marriage because they believe it will meet certain needs they have. It is the mature person who can recognize the needs of others and it is the immature person who gets stuck on requiring, sometimes demanding, others to meet their needs. Finally, is this person idolizing the concept of marriage, or is he/she willing to wait for God’s clear direction and choice of a life mate? (I Corinthians 7:1, 2, 25-27, 36, 37)
A fisherman friend of mine asked me one day, “How come Jesus says we are to be fishers of men when fishing is all about the deception and trickery of baiting an unsuspecting fish?” I told him that fishing with bait was not deceptive, but attractive and luring. The fish are drawn to your lure because they see it as meeting a need for food. As believers we are to be attractive, a fragrance of the living God, so we draw in and engage those who are in need of spiritual food. If you remain satisfied as a single in your relationship with Jesus, i.e., fulfilled, you will be attractive.