This is the twenty-first and the final in a series of what traits to look for in a life mate. It is a list of questions that I have compiled over time from those who were involved in healthy and unhealthy relationships. Be totally honest with yourself and record your answers.
21. Do I love and respect myself enough to say “yes” to healthy relationships and “no” to unhealthy relationships? The following are a few questions to ask yourself:
Do I keep finding similar unhealthy patterns in my dating relationships?
Do I try to “fix” those I date?
Do I cling on to those who I date, causing them to feel smothered?
Do I feel valued for who I am within my opposite sex relationships?
What makes this a safe or unsafe relationship?
How is conflict resolved within this relationship?
Do I feel this person really listens to me with respect?
Is there any power struggle within this relationship?
Who is the leader?
Am I 100% honest with this person, why or why not?
Do I feel like a better, more valuable person around this relationship?
Is my unique and individual identity in tact when I am with this person or do I feel that I need to be someone else?
Do I feel pressure to do or say things I am not comfortable with?
Is sexual activity a part of this relationship or do I feel pushed in that direction?
Am I being asked to quit something I enjoy or pull away from any of my same-sex friends?
Am I growing and being challenged in a positive way through this relationship?
Do I feel accepted unconditionally?
Do I have the freedom to think and feel differently than the one I am dating?
Do I feel any form of manipulation in this relationship and if so, why?
Is my spiritual walk encouraged and enhanced by this person?
Do I like who I am when I spend time with this person?
How is this relationship encouraging me to fulfill my dreams and reach my goals?