Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital

The Ten Most Important Lessons after 37 Years of Marriage

Number Four: The Six Most Difficult Words to Say in Marriage

Why is it so easy to apologize to the person on the street when you bump into him?  How can apologies come flying out of your mouth so fast with a complete stranger?  Why is it so difficult to say that you are sorry to your spouse when you “bump” into their emotions or unknowingly hit a sensitive issue?  To the stranger on the street, we have nothing invested; the relationship is nonexistent and therefore an easy apology surfaces.  To the one you have invested your life into, that’s a different story.  What are the six most difficult words in marriage?  In my opinion they are: “I am sorry, I was wrong.”  To make it nine words add, “…please forgive me.”

There is an amazing question in chapter four verse one of the book of James, “What cause fights and quarrels among you?”  Think back to the last words of disagreement you had with your spouse.  The next verse reveals the desire of that disagreement.  “You want something but don’t get it.  You kill and you covet, but you cannot have what you want.  You quarrel and fight.  You do not have, because you do not ask God.”  At the core of conflict is a desire for something and it may actually be a good desire.  But when we do not get the response we’re looking for, James says we then take selfish means to make it happen.  In our human nature, we quarrel and we fight because we are forgetting a very important step – asking God.  The sooner we come together to “ask God” the fewer times we’ll have to say the six, no the nine, most difficult words.


2 thoughts on “The Ten Most Important Lessons after 37 Years of Marriage

  1. Jim Shrum says:

    I will never forget when you first spoke about this truth. It has done so much to release disapointments and anger because most time it is me not having it my way. This does not just apply to marriage of course but all walks of life.
    Thanks Steve for this is a lesson I have really been able to apply.


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