Question number two is: Do you realize there is no perfect marriage? Only one relationship on this earth started out perfectly: Adam and Eve. Their world was perfect, their jobs were perfect and their walk with God was amazing and daily. Adam and Eve chose to walk away from perfection and by the second generation one of their children committed murder. Marriage is not Christian; it’s a creation act of God predating our Christian faith. Adam recognized his need for a partner after naming the animals just as God recognized Adam’s aloneness. He put Adam to sleep, anesthetized him and created Eve from his side. A life mate, a helper, a woman was God’s idea and would form the basis of our society – one man with one woman. Marriage is not perfect because two individuals with lots of brokenness and needs say “I do” out of attraction, love and “similarity.” Within 30 days this very commitment begins to be tested and we quickly discover we married someone unlike us!
It is God’s story to begin to hold us together through our differences. You see, my wife, Mary, is what I am not and I am what Mary is not, but together we make an amazing and whole team. Ephesians 5: 25-27 says that, as men, we are called to love our wife as Christ lives His church. We are not Jesus, but we are His representative. Men, we are our wives healer; we are to reflect Christ to her. Your wife is worth Christ’s death on the cross for her. Your husband is worth the beating and bruising your Lord took for him. Behind discord, wrong motives, insecurity and marriage failure is unrepentant sin. To love your spouse is to give your life and your love to them to the point that you bring healing to insecurity, rejection, low esteem, self-hate, etc.
There is no perfect marriage, because there is no perfect spouse. However, the longer we are married, the more settled we become, the more healed we become as an individual and the more healing we bring to one another.