Our last question in this series is: Do you have the mentality of an owner or a renter in marriage? I was talking to a friend who is a landlord. One of his tenants wanted a screen door placed on the back door entrance. He told them, “sure.” He went to the store, purchased a screen door, installed it and then placed the cost on the renter’s next month rent. Of course the renter had a fit and blew up at his landlord saying, “It’s not my property; it’s your door and it’s a permanent improvement to your property, I am not paying for it!” In other words, I want it, I request it, but I’m not paying for it. It’s a renter’s mentality. A renter does what’s best for himself, not the owner.
Since the flood last year, I have had a nagging issue with a finished back basement wall in my house that gets damp. We have torn it apart and rebuilt it only to have moisture show up again. We have now torn it apart a second time. I am the owner, I will do whatever it takes and spend whatever money it takes to make that wall dry again. It’s an owner’s mentality. An owner does what’s best for the property at their own cost and sacrifice. Too many couples are renters today – they’re out the back door while owing three months rent. They damage each other and really do not care, they have no long-term commitment. They’ll walk by the weeds everyday and not bend over to pull them. They have little investment and do not think in terms of making an investment in the marriage. Marriage is designed by God for owners to become holy. We start with a romantic love attraction and build to a committed love; then move to a maturing love in order to eventually reach a best friend love.
Owners invest their own sweat equity, their life savings and their day-to-day care to repair, clean and manage their property. Why? It’s a lifetime investment. It’s an asset, not a liability. An owner is driven by their heart. As an owner, you desire an increase in value over time. An owner looks like an owner, walks like an owner and talks like an owner. Question: Do you take ownership for being healed and bringing healing to your marriage? Are you in your marriage for the lifetime investment and have a passion for an increase in value? If you answer “yes” to these questions, then you are taking ownership and growing an asset.
One thought on “Three Reality Questions in Marriage (continued)”
One of your best.