Marriage, Postmarital

Learning to Adapt in Marriage

“Since marriage, I am learning to not be so uptight because my husband is not so uptight.”  “Jason is a lot better with finances, so he took over the budget.”  “Karen is amazing when it comes to dealing with sensitive family issues so we have adapted to her style of relating.”  It’s called adaptation and it means to adjust or become adjusted.  If one of you excels at something, then for the good of both of you, let go of any sense of competition.  Look at who is the person with the extra measure of grace to respond to a specific need and bless them to function in that way.  Further, realize while you are in the process of becoming one, your gift will spread to your partner as your partner is willing to grow and learn from you.

When we were first married, I did all the financial records, budget and transactions.  Mary recognized that it was not her gift.  As she began to see the blessing of doing finances different from what she knew, she adapted to most of my methods.  She saw the value in how we were progressing financially.  Obviously, along the way she had good advice and wisdom to add.  In time, however, Mary began to take over the finances, the taxes, college forms and our budget.  She adapted so well that the gift now resides within her.   Is there an area in your marriage where God is asking you to adapt and you’re resisting?  You may need to be open to a Holy Spirit adjustment.


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