Marriage, Postmarital, Singles

5 Words for Singles and 5 Words for Marrieds

images-6“We just don’t have anything in common anymore.” Over the course of 15 years, serving as a marriage and family counselor, I heard that phrase a few times. Normally, at the same time, these persons could think of another with whom they felt many forms of commonality. Weird how that works isn’t it? You are sharing a marriage, most likely children, a bed, income and bills, household responsibilities, jobs and a local church. How could one possibly say those self-centered words unless they were attempting to ease their own pain, drifting thoughts or sin?

Most singles fantasize about married life, knowing (they tell themselves) it will be better in all aspects of life. All the while, some married individuals fantasize about singleness. Are we ever completely happy or satisfied with our status? Here are five things to coiStock_000017052875Small3-e1332976213633nsider if you are single:

1. Don’t live your life in waiting; be fulfilled in what God has for you today.

2. Know that to rush or blindly marry the wrong person is far worse than not being married.

3. Pursue maturity, personal growth and security.

4. Make a list of what you desire in a life mate and then commit that list to prayer. Hold yourself accountable to not engage with someone who compromises your list.

5. Stop the self-pity game even if all of your friends are married. It will not help you or your attitude.

Here are five things to consider if you are married:images-6

1. Take a look at your wedding ring. You are off the market; taken, committed to the one you spoke your vows to. You are unavailable to everyone else.

2. If you are dissatisfied in marriage, what is it that you need to change in order to stay in the game and remain committed?

3. Remind yourself that two became one and to initiate something hurtful or harmful against your spouse is to also hurt yourself, your future and your family’s future.

4. Ask yourself, “What am I learning about me through this challenging or difficult experience?”

5. Consider this question: “How have I become self-protective and what am I (if anything) hiding?”


4 thoughts on “5 Words for Singles and 5 Words for Marrieds

  1. michelle janis says:

    Thanks Steve. It is so nice to continue to get your pages even though I don’t have a Dove church near me. I’m just spending time healing now and love everyone so much and miss them too.


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