Early on in our marriage our biggest struggle was about money. Since that time, we have learned this topic is a struggle for most couples. Not to assume that it is only a struggle when there are insufficient funds, but, as we discovered, when there are sufficient funds as well. We went on to ascertain that the differences had to do with two areas. Those two areas were financial values and trust. In other words, we did not have the same beliefs when it came to spending and saving and those differences led to not fully trusting each other. This blog entry is dedicated more to finding those roots versus practical budgeting tips. So, here are some root issues to consider when it comes to financial values and trust:
- Do not avoid the money discussion, it will only grow worse. Admit your different views and find the positive in each one.
- Realize that each of you has an important piece to the puzzle. One of you can see what the other does not and together you will have a more complete picture.
- Find where you agree and start there. While Mary and I did not agree on the grocery budget, we did agree that we needed groceries.
- Admit your mistakes in handling money. If you were wrong and purchased a non-budgeted item, admit it and make it right. This will help to rebuild trust.
- Get a hold of the big picture first. Where do you desire to go with your financial resources? This will help you find agreement and unity in vision.
- Find ways to honor one another in the process. If one of you is better with budgeting and finance, then honor that person by giving them the greater financial responsibility.
- Pray together over your finances and listen for God’s direction for your specific needs.
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Thank you Steve for helping us to stay married through your wise counsel.