In another two months my wife and I will be married for 50 years. I hope that counts for something. 

When we look back, it’s easy to identify multiple mistakes that we made. It’s as well, easy to identify those decisions that worked. Taking responsibility for our decisions and their outcome is a major step toward maturity in a marriage relationship. Good decisions reap good outcomes and bad decisions reap a consequence that we both must own and then grow from. 

So, those thoughts lead me to pen some advice from an older married couple. Here goes:

• Stay away from major discussions or decisions if you’re hungry or tired.
• Treat your spouse the way you desire to be treated. (Luke 6:31)
• Place your spouse ahead of yourself (Philippians 2:3-4).
• Never leave or return home without finding each other and sharing a kiss and an “I love you.”
• Make each other laugh. Have fun. (Proverbs 17:22)
• Your most intimate connection is praying together (Matthew 18:19).
• Do not look for 100% agreement in everything. Accept that you will always enjoy some personal differences. They’ll make you a better team.
• Realize that agreement is greater than disagreement (Amos 3:3).
• Conflict is inevitable and part of a close relationship. Conflict is not wrong, however; conflict without compromise and then finding a resolve is wrong.
• Build a livable, agreeable budget and stick to it.  
• Always have a short-term savings and a long-term savings.
• Do your best to stay out of debt (Proverbs 22:7).
• Never maintain a credit card balance (Psalms 37:21).
• Give one another a monthly spending allowance.
• Doing without lots of things can save your marriage.
• Hold hands…a lot.
• Write love notes and send cards in the mail to one another.
• Bring home surprises for each another.
• Date your spouse and when children arrive, date your children.
• Check your pockets before putting your clothes in the wash.
• Men, put the toilet seat down.
• Divide cleaning responsibilities along with other household duties.
• Take lots of time to talk and enjoy conversation.
• Keep the TV and other devices out of or turned off in your bedroom.
• Make your bedroom a special place where you end your day and then begin your day together.
• No kids in your bedroom.
• Remember that romance is not over once you’re married; it just began.
• Always have at least one meal together every day, two if possible.
• Keep complaining to a minimum; keep praise to a maximum.
• Sit on the porch or deck together. No porch/deck? Build one.
• Learn the skill of listening, not just talking.
• Always construct in private.
• When children arrive, remember they will be one of your most important contributions to your world; so treat them with love, respect, provide life-giving correction and don’t give them to someone else to raise.

There are more, but that’s for another time.