There are so many practical ways to support our spouse on a daily basis. We have grown in this over the last 42 years. It does mean dealing with our own selfishness and seeing the needs in another, maybe even before they see them. For your marriage encouragement, here’s a dozen ways to provide your life mate some support.
- Try not to over manage one another. Give each other space. Stay away from the constant, “Did you do this?” And the, “When are you going to…”
- Speak words of encouragement. Of course there are a lot of things to nitpick about, but try encouragement first. For example, “I appreciate how you keep up with the wash without complaint” or “Thanks for working so hard and helping to provide for our family.” Words of encouragement turn something mundane into something to conquer.
- Call forth your spouse’s gifts, both spiritual and practical. Most often your spouse does not see all of their gifts. When you believe in them and encourage them to use their gifts, you are in effect calling forth something that God has placed within them.
- Be protective of your spouse. Watch out for the things that your spouse does not see coming or is not tuned in to. We all need protected from things people say or do that might be hurtful to one another.
- Pray with your spouse. Do not pray at them, rather pray for them. Cover one another in prayer. Do not just have their back, but have all of them. There is no greater intimacy of support than prayer.
- Compliment your spouse regularly. Be sure to tell them when they look good in that new shirt or new haircut. Let them know regularly that you are still attracted to them.
- Communicate regularly even if it’s about nothing. Send your spouse a text in the middle of the day to say hi or that you love them. Let them know you are thinking of them. Send them a card in the mail or put a Post It note in with their lunch.
- Praise in public; construct in private. Verbally affirm your spouse around others. Never challenge your spouse in front of others. If a word of input is needed, save it for a one-on-one time.
- Take time to regularly have the deeper talks. Do not let your communication go for days without connecting deeply concerning your relationship, the kids, your job, your spiritual walk or the finances.
- Speak words of honor. Honor is often lost in our cultures today. When speaking a word of honor your spouse will feel honored, appreciated, praised and trusted.
- Be physical. Touch your spouse, hold hands and kiss several times a day. Put your arm around one another. Rub each other’s back. Hug for no reason other than good, comforting and sustaining physical touch.
- Be a rock. Let them know you can be counted on. Be there and be on time. Be faithful in all you do and say, especially in your walk with God. Never give yourself emotionally or sexually to anyone or anything other than your spouse.
First days, you either love them or tolerate them, there is hardly an in between. The first day of school – tolerate or love? Or, how about the first day of a new job? The first day is critical and so it was at creation.
There have been many first days in our lives and there will be many more. It will be up to us how we handle those first days. We can choose to embrace them or tolerate them. We can call it an adventure or a disaster.
Saint Patrick, Ireland’s beloved patron saint, has a prayer of divine protection attributed to him which was later made into a hymn. There are different versions, but one goes like this:
Recently I read some research on charitable giving. It was amazing to see how generous Americans are. Last year, 2016, Americans donated $358 billion to numerous charities. That’s the good news.
When we are tithing to our local church, we know we can trust the leadership to make right decisions with the money we’re giving to God. And as we share our offerings to that trusted missionary organization or homeless shelter in our community, we can literally see the difference that our giving makes. Use wisdom in your giving; do your research before you donate. Check out the ministry/organization on their website and do not hesitate to call and request them to verify the percentage of your donation that will be used for administration. You worked hard for your income; be sure to pray and ask God about your giving. Imagine inadvertently donating to some nonprofit executive’s children’s college fund when you have yet to start a college fund for your child.
One of my favorite New Testament verses states, “That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake.” (Matthew 13:1) I simply love this verse because I crave what it says. Our Lord, while on earth, with just a three-year window, took time to sit by a lake. What was He doing? That’s just it, He wasn’t “doing,” He was being. He took time out to rest, to reflect, to breath in the fresh, moisture-filled air that surrounds the tranquil presence of water. I see Him in this moment as having no “to-do” list, no sermon preparation, no rushed got-to-do-it-now feelings… just rest-filled hanging out with His heavenly Father.
We live in a culture that is noisy and full of time-stealing stuff. We’re always accessible. Can we take time to “sit by the lake” and simply enjoy His presence? Work is a gift from God, but so is rest. How do you like to rest? Remember, life is a balancing act in order to maintain our spiritual, physical and emotional health. Separating and centering ourselves every once in a while is a really spiritual thing to do, just ask Jesus.
Are you so fearful of offending others in today’s culture that in reality you hold back the truth? Don’t be. Jesus wasn’t. Our Savior never made it a habit of being politically correct or inoffensive. In fact, His sharing the truth as revealed to Him by His Father, often offended many. Because He was familiar to the people in His hometown, the Bible tells us that His hometown crowd took offense and called Him just a “carpenter’s son.”
Sometimes the way of the cross is offensive, but I am not saying or giving myself permission to simply go out and offend as many people as I can. Being a caustic, offensive person on purpose is stupid. I need to do my best to live at peace with all men, but never do I desire to become silent out of fear or embarrassment of my Lord’s truth. I am here to influence culture rather than allowing culture to influence me.
From time to time the Wall Street Journal has some fascinating stories to tell. I recently caught one that was titled: U.S. To Rebels: Listen To Mom. The article was a worthy read which shares the story of rebels who steal children from their parents as young as age 5. Such was the case with Obira Julious from Uganda, forced to grow up in the Central African Republic. He was compulsorily inducted into the Lord’s Resistance Army thirteen years ago and is now age 18. Hiding in the brush while a U.S. military helicopter flew over him, he thought he recognized a voice.
It’s a sad story with a great ending as a life was saved through one mother’s voice and the U.S. Army. Thank you to those men and women who through their military service not only protect our nation, but who are saving lives like Obira. This story is a great reminder to us concerning the voices we are listening to and the voices we need to listen to.
There are plenty of differences in relational styles. Some of us are more verbal and others more auditory and the like. Some are slow responders and others are really quick on their feet. Relational styles even differ on how they like to receive information or requests, e.g., phone calls, text messages, email, Facebook messaging, etc. But when we are leading a group of people and those persons cannot obtain a timely response from us through any of the various means of communication mentioned, then we are requiring those same persons to chase us.
Paul the apostle was speaking to King Agrippa, sharing his personal testimony and encounter with God (Acts 26). It was quite a story and quite an opportunity. After intently listening to Paul, King Agrippa asks him if he thought that in such a short time he, the king, would be persuaded to be a Christian? (Acts 26:28) Paul’s story must have made an impression, but that phrase Paul used, “I was not disobedient to the vision” stayed with me as I once again read this encounter.
Comfort zones…we all have them. Perhaps yours is never flying on a plane or having a certain amount of money in savings. For each of us it is different because comfort is best described as what makes us feel the most secure. When discomfort is present, most likely insecurity is present. A situation that challenges our security will at the same time affect our physiological and emotional responses – our personal feelings of comfort.
Funny thing is though, Jesus continually desires to stretch us, move us beyond our comfort zones. And if we’re immovable, we will resist His efforts in our life. What’s your comfort zone and how is your Heavenly Father attempting to move you beyond it? When you fully trust Him, you can move safely beyond your fears.
Steve Prokopchak 