Category Archives: Encouragement

Encouragement, Marriage, Prayer, Premarital

Married and Friends: The Trust Factor IV

It was Jesus who told us to trust in God and in Him (John 14: 1).  Is it easy to trust God?  Humanly speaking, the first thing we often consider when trusting is if we have experienced failure in some way.  If we find no failure or fault in a relationship, then we trust.  The end result of this type of thinking is that trust can (and will) be broken rather quickly and easily; it only takes one incident of mistrust.  Trust within a marriage relationship is tested quite often.  If there is not a bank load of trust in the relationship, we will come to expect failure which, of course, will reinforce why we should not fully trust another, even God.

Close friends communicate deeply.  Close Christian friends communicate with God: we call it prayer.  Marriages that truly desire to build trust cannot do so through correct behavior, actions or reactions only.  We all fail sometime.  Marriages that meet within the intimacy of prayer, will find a trust that is deeper, less fault-finding and far more grace-filled than those marriages that do not engage in prayer.  Married partners too often move toward a trusted same-sex friend to pray with, thwarting the very design of God for intimacy within the gift of marriage oneness.  Want to build your trust bank?  Start praying together regularly.  (Perhaps you could leave a “reply” with this entry about how you have found prayer building trust in your marriage relationship in order to help others.)

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Encouragement, Marriage, Postmarital

Married and Friends: The Trust Factor III

The month of February has a wonderful tradition in the middle of it, Valentine’s Day. With that in mind, I thought I would set aside this month for marriage topics, or perhaps more than this month – who knows.

John Gottman of the University of Washington has said, “Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.”  Good friends are not easy to come by;  really great and close friends are even more difficult to find or maintain.  While there are volumes of books written on romance and sexual issues, finances and budgets, there seems to be too few mentioning friendship and how to maintain it while married.  Is friendship really that far down on the necessities of marriage priorities scale?  I don’t think so.

 In 1977 when Mary and I were married for only two years, we loaded up our moving truck to travel from southern Virginia to northern Pennsylvania.  We were going to begin a faith-based ministry to teenagers.  It was during those eight years of service that we became best friends.  Everyday life depended on the two of us walking together in unity, in faith and prayerful agreement.  We could not afford to fight each other as the spiritual atmosphere we lived in on a daily basis was enough to fight through.  We found emotional closeness, we found spiritual oneness and we found advocacy within the arms of one another.  Being friends caused our home to be more welcoming and friendly.  What else did we discover in those years to build a friendship relationship?

Time off and being away together

Laughing together

Talking, sharing, relating, praying (simply being nice to one another)

Protecting one another

Becoming consistently loyal to one another (one heart)

Refusing to put ourselves or our spouse down (we are one)

Believing the best in one another (good will)

Defending one another

Building Christ in one another (Colossians 1:28)

Praising in public; confronting in private

Smiling at one another for no particular reason

Kissing and saying “I love you” in different ways daily

Holding hands, always holding hands

 

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Encouragement, Marriage, Postmarital

Married and Friends: The Trust Factor

The month of February has a wonderful tradition in the middle of it, Valentine’s Day.  With that in mind, I thought I would set aside this month for marriage topics, or perhaps more than this month – who knows. 

Mary, my dear wife of almost 37 years, (As a customs agent once told us when we were attempting to return to the USA, “Wow, you guys are REALLY married.”) and I had been driving through the night after I worked a long evening shift.  We traveled most of the way on four-lane divided highways and then found a brand new “expressway” en route to the eastern shore, our destination.  Assuming all expressways are four lanes of divided traffic, I headed east casually attempting to pass the car in front of me when suddenly realizing we had headlights aiming straight for us.  Wondering out loud what this idiot driver was doing, I quickly merged back into the right hand lane.

Now I couldn’t just run anyone off the road, in my late night stupor, I ran a Maryland state patrolmen off the road (literally).  With lights flashing we pulled over only to have a two foot long and very bright flashlight pointed in my wife’s direction.  I will never forget the troopers first words, “Ma’am, do you trust driving with this… (uncomfortable pause here)…man?”

What would my new bride of one year say in answer to this question?  He might as well have been asking, “Ma’am, do you trust anything this moron does or says?”  We were newlyweds, still adjusting, still learning the idiosyncrasies of each other and establishing our trust levels.  The question this intimidating officer of the law imposed was deeper than my driving skills.  What would she say?  How would she respond as I sat in my car shaking with fear?  Mary looked at me, then looked at him and said, “Yes sir, I do.”  “Get out of the car!” were his first words to me.

After walking the white line, touching my finger to my nose with my eyes closed hearing this man’s angry words over and over, sitting in the back seat of his well equipped cruiser and a hefty ticket forthcoming, I was a happy, happy man.  My wife, my best friend said she trusted me even after almost killing her in a head on collision.

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Encouragement, Leadership, Small Groups, Training

God Has a Recession Proof Kingdom

Gravity is for real, no question, no argument.  I am always happy when my plane lands after a flight at 37,000 feet.  There is another fact that is just as real found in Galatians chapter six that says what we sow we reap.  It is as true as gravity.  In fact, that same scripture says that if we don’t believe this truth we “mock God.”  I’m pretty sure we do not want to be found doing that.  Recession makes one take a really close look at income and outgoing.  It calls for certain decisions of cut back for sure.  But does that mean we cut back in our tithe or our giving/sowing?  Only if we desire to stop reaping.  There is not a farmer on this earth that does not expect a crop from seed sown.  Should we expect any less as believers?

In my lifetime, I have discovered a direct connection between giving and sowing and my ability to trust God.  The more I trust Him, the more freedom I experience in giving.  And, the closer I come to the Source through trust, the greater the potential.  If you can be trusted with little, Luke 16: 10-12 says, then you can also be trusted with much more.  Be faithful with what God has given you to give away and watch as He then trusts you with more.  The problem comes in when we pull back, take our eyes off of His unseen world and prepare for the worst.  If we focus on fear and what we believe God hasn’t done, then we will live in discontent and thanklessness.  But, if we focus on what God has done and is doing, we will walk in contentment and thankfulness.  (Not sure who I first heard that from, but it is truth.)

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Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage

God Devises Ways to Reach the Estranged

It is fascinating how that God loves the estranged, the banished, the marginalized and the poor.  His heart is after the one who is not after His.  So many times we hear a story of how God directly intervened in a life that was desperate and without hope.  Personally, I love those stories because they build faith for the many persons we know who are in need of that personal encounter.

There is this fantastic scripture found in II Samuel 14:14 that says, “But God does not take away life; instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him.”  Don’t you just love that?  Can’t you see your Father in heaven “devising ways?”  Perhaps you’re a part of one of those “ways” in someone’s life today.  God just might be speaking to you or opening an encounter for you so that an estranged one is touched by Him.  This past weekend we met a couple who are praying for an estranged loved one to make his way back to the Savior.  Maybe you’re the one to encounter him?

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Encouragement, Leadership

You Are the Man

Have you ever been told…”You’re the man?”  I’ve even said that to women on occasion (with love and admiration of course).  King David had sinned and God sent a prophet to him named Nathan.  Nathan shares a story with David recorded in II Samuel 12 which is in reality a word picture of the sin that David had committed with Bathsheba and her husband, Uriah.  As the story goes, David “burned with anger” against the man Nathan was referencing in his story and even concluded that this man who did such awful things deserves to die.

And then Nathan looks squarely at the King, eye to eye and nose to nose, without hesitation or weakness in his voice and says, “You are the man!”  “David, you’re the sheep stealer, the murderer.”  Can you imagine the scene as David gets flush from the neck up, his heart pumps wildly and his ears turn red-hot with embarrassment? Nathan also gave this word from the Lord, “You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.”  Caught and nailed to the wall with front page newspaper coverage, King David.

When we get caught up into thinking that we’re the man, we are setting ourselves up for a fall.  If there are secret, sinful things in your life, listen to the Holy Spirit and deal with them today.  Expose them to the light and seek help and accountability before your sin is exposed by a loving Father and you find yourself facing your own “Nathan.”

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Encouragement, Leadership, Singles, Small Groups

God Knows Where You Live

God knows where you live.  Do you know how I know that?  He placed you there.  Look at Acts 17: 26 with me, “From one man he [God] made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.”  Not only does He know where you live, He chose the time within the course of all time when you should live.  Why did He do this?  “God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.”  (Acts 17:27)

Inescapable how God is after mankind to love and serve Him.  If God cares about where you live and when you exist on the earth, then He cares about all the details of your life.  He cares about where you work, who you marry, when you have children and what you name them.  He cares about your finances, what local church you attend and how you care for your neighbors.  He cares about what you think through the day, how much time you spend with Him in devotions and whether or not you obey the traffic laws.  And He cares about what you care about because He created you to live in these days, in the town, state and nation you reside in.  Fully and without compromise live for Him today…”For in him we live and move and have our being.”  (Acts 17: 28)

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Encouragement, Leadership

It’s a New Year and I’m in a Hurry

Welcome to 2012!  How abbreviated did 2011 seem to you?  I mean, was it a full year…12 months…365 days?  I wonder sometimes.  The faster the years, months and days go by, the faster I feel like I live life.  I can be speeding in my car and really don’t know why because I am not running late.  I can tend to always walk fast or be in a rush to finish a project I am working on at home and really do not need to feel any anxiety to complete it.  Some years ago the group Alabama wrote a song about being in a hurry and not knowing why.  I’ve copied it below for you.

I’m in a hurry to get things done Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun All I really gotta do is live and die But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why
Don’t know why I have to drive so fast My car has nothing to prove It’s not new But it’ll do zero to sixty in five point two
I’m in a hurry to get things done Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun All I really gotta do is live and die But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why
Can’t be late, I leave in plenty of time Shakin’ hands with the clock I can’t stop I’m on a roll and I’m ready to rock
I’m in a hurry to get things done Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun All I really gotta do is live and die But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why
Oh, I hear a voice That says I’m running behind Better pick up my pace It’s a race and there ain’t no room for someone in second place
I’m in a hurry to get things done Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun All I really gotta do is live and die But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why.

Can you identify with those words as I do?  If so, check out these words: Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.  Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything…  (Ephesians 5: 19,20)   You gotta slow down to accomplish what God encourages us to do in those verses.  Let’s determine to be more intentional in this brand new year to slow down, listen to God and speak life to others, because… we can tend to be in a hurry and not know why.

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Encouragement, Leadership, Small Groups

It Has Been An Interesting Year

It has been an interesting year with earthquakes, floods, early snow storms and extended power outages.  We have seen very little recovery in the USA economic situation and the same in most other nations of the world.  As the Berlin wall fell, we are seeing Middle Eastern long-term leaders fall and witnessing an unprecedented prophetic call to the Muslim world for salvation.  Twice the Lord’s return was predicted and twice faithful followers of this false prophet were left wondering, losing confidence in their leader.  We have weathered the “no hell” storm and the “universal salvation” debate.  It’s been a wild and unpredictable year.

But, you know what?  Jesus is still Lord and we are still saved, that we know for sure.  Perhaps you have weathered storms of your own.  Jesus is still Lord and you are still saved.  In fact, as you persevered, your faith was strengthened and your resolve was one of spiritual tenacity.  As you now look back over 2011, it is time to evaluate.  Where did you see direct answers to prayer?  What testimony do you carry in your heart due to God’s faithfulness?  Where did you struggle?  What seemed impossible to you at the time and how has God worked in you through this “impossibility?”  As you take a critical look backwards, what life lessons have you learned?  Can you now see why you had to go through certain challenging situations?  Do you realize a present benefit of perseverance and patience?  What scriptures carried you through the year?  What words spoken by God’s messengers became life-giving seeds of hope?  Hold these in your heart as you press forward.

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.  And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.  (Matthew 24: 13, 14)

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Children, Encouragement

Christmas Reflections at O’Hare

“It’s an icy winter night, and O’Hare International Airport is in bedlam.  All flights are canceled.  Visibility is poor to fog, frost and freezing rain.  Thousands of people are clustered at the ticket counters; some clamoring for redress, others wrapped in stoic silence.  Children are crying, the PA system is blaring, and the defeated are bellying up to the bar.  I’m in mild turmoil.  How can the Good News be proclaimed in Dallas if the weather won’t shape up in Chicago?

Across the aisle sits a middle-aged black woman cradling a child.  It’s more than a serene smile playing at the corners of her mouth.  She’s laughing.  She’s actually laughing?  Intrigued I cross the aisle and find myself staring at the woman.  She looks up.  “Ma’am, you’re the only person in this place who seems to be together.  Would you mind telling me why you’re so happy?”  “Sho,” she said.  “Christmas is coming and dat Jesus – He makes me laugh!”  (From: Souvenirs of Solitude by Brennan Manning)

Dat Jesus – He makes me laugh.  What a great phrase.  We need to see beyond all the disappointing news from around the world; news that lends itself more to fear than to laughter.  Can we actually be not so serious and more child-like in this season so that we might find laughter?  Let’s rejoice and laugh over “glad tidings of great joy.”  Christmas is coming…allow God’s laughter given to us through His Son to fill you with comfort and joy.

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