My wife and I have found a place of intimacy that far exceeds any level of intimacy within a marriage through our connecting in prayer. We have made this a priority for many years and have grown our marriage in numerous ways through the vulnerability of prayer together. Here are seven benefits that we have identified from praying together.
- When we pray, we find agreement with God and with one another. Agreement is far more powerful, life-giving and life changing than disagreement.
- Through prayer together we are not so self-focused, but rather, we are focused on God, one another and the needs of those we are praying for.
- We are recognizing our need to trust outside ourselves. We are realizing we cannot provide all the needs or answers. We are humbling ourself to say, we need God. Prayer reminds us and our family that God IS our source.
- Prayer helps us to grow in grace and patience. We learn to wait on God. We also learn to confess our needs, brokenness and vulnerability. We, before God, recognize our need for forgiveness.
- We communicate our life issues when we pray and that helps us to hear out loud those needs. We pray what is on our heart and when we hear one another’s heart, we know what deeply touches us and concerns us.
- Prayer changes us as we learn to listen to God. It changes us financially, emotionally, mentally and sexually. In all ways we are changed as we reach out to and then hear God’s still small voice. Our hearts and our minds are transformed through prayer and we experience a greater level of oneness.
- Praying together increases our intimacy. As intimacy increases our trust levels increase and as our trust levels increase, our strength and bond together grows stronger.
Helping you to start your prayer trek
- Purchase a devotional book, read and then pray.
- Take turns praying/reading.
- Start small or brief and grow your time.
- Find a specific focus and pray.
- Walk your neighborhood and pray.
- Pray together with your children teaching them to pray.
- Pray in the car when there is a lull in the conversation.
- Pray when one of you or your children are not feeling well.
- Pray with thanksgiving to God repeatedly.
- Bless one another in prayer. Bless one another’s day, workplace, etc.
- Ask your spouse how you can pray for them.
Whenever we have a first-time visitor to our home, given the chance, we tell them a story. I’ll tell you that story too.
With the commitment of a very dear friend, he and I built that house from foundation up, nailing every stud, pulling every wire, plumbing and painting. Now almost 32 years ago, we still tell the story. We can’t stop telling the story because it’s the house that God built.
On a recent prayer time away from my office, I carried John Wesley’s 21 accountability questions with me. I have gone through these numerous times and really enjoy doing so. I thought that if you were not familiar with them, you just might like to consider a look as well. On that note, here they are:
“I grew up in a Hindu family and was introduced to the worship of many gods,” said my new friend. “However, those ‘gods’ as I grew older, became more and more aggressive, unfriendly, demanding and evil.” Her family told her this familiarity was highly favored and to be embraced, but nothing about this world felt favorable to her. At the age of sixteen, someone introduced her to Jesus and she received Him and His love into her heart. She told me there was a profound change in her life and she soon realized that the “gods” she carried with her were actually demonic presences or spirits meant to torment her. She wanted them gone from her life.
Incorporating those who pray over you and your vision for ministry seems like a no brainer. But how do you identify these persons and better yet, how do you keep them praying?
Our family often had the nations around our table as our children grew up. We loved the cultural examples each one brought to us. I remember in particular a couple from Zimbabwe who we invited from a local college for Thanksgiving. In the middle of the meal the wife told us, “You throw away the best parts of the turkey.” We all had a great laugh because we do not eat the head, liver or the feet of a turkey. But we desired our children to know and understand that every life is valuable to God and His design for them. God’s kingdom is a kingdom of nations and nations represent people.
Proverbs 12 tells us, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” What does your tongue bring to those around you, your co-workers and your acquaintances? I am personally challenged by my thoughts (not often spoken, but still thought) that do not think the best of others or those thoughts which do not give those different from me the benefit of the doubt. To have the privilege of traveling the world and to experience different cultures is enlightening, while at the same time difficult to not think comparatively, i.e., my culture vs. their culture.
Politicians can be an especially difficult bunch due to their near truths or outright lies, placating, patronizing, cover-ups, political correctness and bottom line desire of being reelected. You rarely know who is telling the truth today. You especially rarely know the full truth because of a press that now also includes “fake news.” Further, the news outlets often only report what will support their causes and their politicians. It is why I love inside reports from Christian leaders I am acquainted with (throughout the world) who are in the know about so much of what is truthfully happening around the world.
As Christ followers, we have a long way to go to do more listening, considering, growing and developing. But there are many undeniable written words from God that do not and will not change with culture. We are called to influence culture with Biblical truth. While our opinion may be valuable to some, it will not supernaturally change a life.
Over decades of suffering from the disease of glaucoma, my 94-year-old father is now completely blind. Of course, it is a life challenge, but I have learned something through his blindness that applies to my spiritual life.
Before you were married, did anyone advise you that your marriage would need room for failure, forgiveness, loss, brokenness, disagreement, or even sin? If not, a full and honest disclosure was missed, and you may have entered into marriage a bit naïve or ill-advised. Marriages fail because we fail God, each other, and ourselves. We fail to love, we fail to honor, we fail to forgive, and we fail in keeping at bay our own personal struggles with selfishness. And that’s where prayer can come in.
In 
In 2011 my first twenty-one blogs were titled, “Finding a Life Mate: The Character Traits Worth Looking For.” I loved the idea of starting a blog about something I am passionate about: preparing for marriage. I recently read through all 21 of them once again and did a bit of editing. In doing that, I realized I missed a really important area. That area was spiritual formation through prayer.
When we encounter a difficulty or a bump in the road of marital bliss, our first response is to pray together. The scripture relates that the reason we fight and argue is because we do not pray first. (James 4: 1-2) If we can discover this freedom with the one we are looking at as a life mate, we are well ahead of the game. Why? Because our relationship with Jesus and our ability to pray and look to Him is the most intimate thing we can do together. And, it is by far, the most mature act. Look for a life mate that looks to God first, it will take a lot of pressure off of you.
Steve Prokopchak 