Category Archives: Prayer

Marriage, Postmarital, Prayer, Premarital

Disagreements in the Marriage Relationship

If you are married any length of time, you quickly discovered that this person who you thought was just like you was in reality quite different from you.  In fact, you may have wondered where this new person came from and where your former husband or wife went.  Counselors will tell us that most couples know how to fight, but what they do not know how to do is resolve their conflicts.  We’re good at stating our cause, defending our side and being right.  But, if the goal is being right, then one of you has to admit being wrong.  We all know how hard that confession becomes.

One day I was complaining to God about how often I have to apologize to my wife.  So, I asked Him why is that so frequently the case.  His answer?  Because I was the one who was so often wrong – ouch.  James 4 asks an interesting question, “Where do fights and quarrels come from among you?”  Great question wouldn’t you say?  What’s the answer?  “Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?  You want something but you don’t get it.”  Think of your last fight or disagreement.  You wanted one thing and your spouse wanted another.  Maybe both of you wanted something good, but it turned into a “who is right” rather than doing what James further encourages us to do.

“You quarrel and you fight.  You do not have, because you do not ask God.”  Rather than fighting, God wants us to ask Him – pray together.  After all, what’s more powerful than disagreement?  Agreement.

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Encouragement, Marriage, Postmarital, Prayer, Premarital, Small Groups

The Most Intimate Thing a Couple Can Do

Is sexual intimacy the most intimate aspect of marriage?  Is sex the most intimate act between two human beings?  If the answer is “yes,” then social scientists are correct when they conclude that at our very core, we are primarily sexual beings.  But, Scripture tells us we are spirit, soul and body (I Thessalonians 5:23).  If we were just soul and body, I might be inclined to agree with social scientists.  God, however, in creating us in His image added the eternal part of us, the spirit.  Therefore, I would conclude that we are primarily spirit, having a soul (will, mind and emotions), all housed on this earth in our temporary vessel, the body.  If we are primarily spirit, then our first function, our most important function is to worship God.

What does all this have to do with sexual intimacy and marriage?  It is to conclude that sex is NOT the most intimate aspect of marriage.  What is then?  Seeking the face of God together.  Prayer between husband and wife, spirit to spirit, to Holy Spirit is the most intimate thing we can be involved in within the marriage covenant.  No wonder so many Christian couples do not pray together. For far too many, it’s way too intimate to fully disclose your heart, speak your deepest desires and blurt out your darkest brokenness.  The enemy knows that if we take a step of faith and enter into this closet of prayer intimacy with our life mate, nothing will stop us.  When two or three agree…  Agreement together in the Spirit is a place of unity, a place of oneness and that place, dear ones, is far more powerful than disagreement.

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Encouragement, Marriage, Prayer, Premarital

Married and Friends: The Trust Factor IV

It was Jesus who told us to trust in God and in Him (John 14: 1).  Is it easy to trust God?  Humanly speaking, the first thing we often consider when trusting is if we have experienced failure in some way.  If we find no failure or fault in a relationship, then we trust.  The end result of this type of thinking is that trust can (and will) be broken rather quickly and easily; it only takes one incident of mistrust.  Trust within a marriage relationship is tested quite often.  If there is not a bank load of trust in the relationship, we will come to expect failure which, of course, will reinforce why we should not fully trust another, even God.

Close friends communicate deeply.  Close Christian friends communicate with God: we call it prayer.  Marriages that truly desire to build trust cannot do so through correct behavior, actions or reactions only.  We all fail sometime.  Marriages that meet within the intimacy of prayer, will find a trust that is deeper, less fault-finding and far more grace-filled than those marriages that do not engage in prayer.  Married partners too often move toward a trusted same-sex friend to pray with, thwarting the very design of God for intimacy within the gift of marriage oneness.  Want to build your trust bank?  Start praying together regularly.  (Perhaps you could leave a “reply” with this entry about how you have found prayer building trust in your marriage relationship in order to help others.)

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Leadership, Prayer, Small Groups

Detachment

Imagine this picture with me if you will: “That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake.”  What was he doing there?  Well, we know He wasn’t checking His email or Facebook page; He wasn’t texting anyone or surfing the web, but I do believe He was conversing with Someone.   I see Him sitting by the lake, admiring His own handiwork as it must have brought back many enjoyable memories of when He was involved in creation with His Father.  He was there when that lake was made and He is now back enjoying the refreshing sights and sounds.  Personally, I don’t think He was “doing” anything; He was simply “being.”  He was detaching from all the business around Him.  The Son of God found renewal sitting by a body of water without a running “to do” list.

Do you take the necessary time to detach?  How often do you detach?  How do you like to detach? Can you stop “doing” long enough to enjoy “being?”  Can you stop comparing yourself long enough to enjoy a restful moment or two?  Do you realize that you cannot do it all?  Are you secure enough to say “no” sometimes?  Recorded in our Lord’s prayer Jesus said to His Father, “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.”  (John 17:4)  Really?  Was everyone saved, healed, delivered?  I don’t think so, but He had completed that which the Father had asked of Him and now He would detach Himself from his earthly robe.

Detachment will help release you of the stressors of life, it’s why He gave us a Sabbath day.

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Prayer, Small Groups, Training

Distance II

But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.  (Luke 23:49)

I am finally getting back to a blog I started several weeks ago.  Below you will find ten final areas of knowing you are standing at a distance from your Lord as expressed in the scripture.  I hope these observations are helpful to you as you encounter a distance in your life and/or in others you love and work with.  Prayerfully take the time to look up the scriptures listed and ask the Holy Spirit to check your heart.

  1. “Being” has become more important to you than “doing.”  (II Corinthians 4:13,14,18; James 2:14,17,24)
  2. You’re not sowing into the lives of others or investing in anyone else’s spiritual growth (Matthew 28: 19,20; I Corinthians
    10: 32,33; II Corinthians 3:4-6; Philippians 2: 1-5; I Thessalonians 5:14,15; II Peter 1:5-10)
  3. You have not heard His voice speaking to you since, well…you can’t remember when (John 10:3-16; Romans 10:17)
  4. Your free time is filled with nothingness, non-productivity and a loss of focus or it’s filled with all the stuff of this
    world without eternal perspective (Proverbs 16:3; I Corinthians 10:31; James 1:27; I John 2:15-17)
  5. Most of your thoughts  are self-centered, filled with what God has not done or are simply unholy and ungodly – failing to thank Him for what He has done (Proverbs 3: 5-8; Proverbs 21:2; Romans 12:1-3; 14:7,8; Philippians 2:3,4; Colossians 2:6,7; Hebrews 3:1; 12:28; I Peter 1:15,16)
  6. You’re questioning the very power and the sovereignty of God (Romans 1:16; I Corinthians 1:18; II Corinthians 5:7; Hebrews
    2:3,4; 4:15; I John 4:4)
  7. Your faith has decreased for prayer to be answered (Mark 9:23; John 14:12-14; Ephesians 3:20; James 5:16)
  8. Your tongue is less guarded in its use of words and expressions (Proverbs 10:20,31; 13:3; 15:1,23; 18:21; 22:11; James 1:26; 3:9,10; 4:11)
  9. Your money is more yours than His; you have forgotten how or have quit giving Him your first fruits (Proverbs 10:22;
    11:24,25; 13:22; 18:16; 22:9; 28:22,27; II Corinthians 9:6-11; I Timothy 6:6-10)
  10. You begin to justify borderline sinful character traits (due to the direct influence of unbelievers or “liberated” believers)
    because, in your mind, God doesn’t really care about miniscule details and neither does He sweat the small stuff (Proverbs
    10: 9; 11:3; I Corinthians 5:9-11; 6:9-11, 18-20; 8:9-13; 15:33;  I Timothy 5:1,2; Titus 2:11,12; II Peter 2; I John 3:6-10)

Luke 24:31 – Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.  Open your eyes so you can recognize Him.  V.38 – Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?   v. 45– Then he opened their minds so they
could understand the Scriptures.

II Timothy 4:7 – I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith.

II Corinthians 13:5 – Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.  Do you realize that Christ Jesus is in you – unless, of course, you fail the test?  And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test.

Grace to you!

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Leadership, Prayer, Small Groups, Training

Distance

But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.  (Luke 23:49)

If we know Him, could we be standing at a distance?  If we’ve accepted Jesus as our personal Savior, God’s amazing love will allow us to totally walk away from Him, stand at a distance and look from afar or be right up front waiting on His next command.

How would you know if you’re at a distance?  The following are ten areas to consider with appropriate scriptures following.  We will look at ten more areas next week.  Prayerfully look over the areas and scriptures listed, perhaps in your devotional time.

You are standing at a distance if:

  1. You’re not reading the Bible daily or at least committed to do so.  (Proverbs 4: 20-22; Romans 10:17; II Timothy 2:15; 3:16,17; Hebrews 2:1; 4:12)
  2. Your prayer life consists of praying on the run or when someone else is praying around you.  (Mark 1:35; Luke 18:1; Romans 8:26,27; Colossians 4:2)
  3. You are not committed to the vision of and to relationships within a local church.  (I Corinthians 14:26; Hebrews 10:25; I John 1:7)
  4. You rarely tell anyone your testimony or share about Jesus and His love, hope and salvation.  ( Romans 10: 14,15; Colossians 3:17; II Timothy 1:7,8; 4:5;  James 5:19,20)
  5. Your friends and family are more important than Jesus is.  (Mark 3:31-35; 10:29,30; 12;30,31)
  6. You’re more concerned about what those around you think of you than you are about what Jesus thinks or says about you.  (Proverbs 29:25; Matthew 23:5-7,12; Luke 9:26; I Corinthians 1:26-31; II Corinthians 5:21; Galatians 1:10; 2:20; 4:19; Colossians 1:28; I Thessalonians 2:4-6; I Peter 2:9,10)
  7. Obeying Him has become less and less of a priority and His words have become “hard” to hear as you live your daily life.  (Proverbs 14:12; John 6: 60,66-71; 14:15,21; I Peter 2:11,12; I John 2:3-6)
  8. Your view of God has evolved to His living at a distance, and that being the case, unable to be reached consistently.  (II Timothy 1:14; Hebrews 3:6; 11:6)
  9. You’re not reading or listening to something that challenges your spiritual growth on any kind of consistent basis.  (Proverbs 3:1,2; Isaiah 26:3; I Corinthians 2:16; Colossians 3:2)
  10. “Rational thinking” from the wisdom of this world has taken precedence over the truths of God’s word.  (Proverbs 1:7; 9:10; 21:30; Mark 7:8; Romans 8:5-9; I Corinthians 1:18-21; Colossians 2:8; I Timothy 6:20,21; II Timothy 3:1-5; II Peter 1:3,4)
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Leadership, Marriage, Prayer, Small Groups, Training

“God Told Me…”

“But I know I heard God on this.”  “The Holy Spirit revealed to me…”  “God spoke to me.”  You and I have heard those words many times and perhaps said them ourselves.  But what happens when the person saying them is going directly against the word of God or you know their “hearing” is based more upon emotional desire than true insight from God?  Stay with me here.  I am not saying God does not speak today because I know He does.  It is just that we find difficulty in refuting the phrases listed above.  I mean, how do you come against or in direct conflict with the words, “I know I heard God on this?”  It would seem impossible, but then the person could be left with some disastrous outcomes.

Let me give you a few pointers to offer such persons speaking so matter of fact.  First, have they ever been wrong?  I mean, have they ever missed God or have they been 100% correct all the time in hearing from God?  Second, what are their overseers saying on the subject?  Have they found any wisdom in a multitude of counselors?  Are these counselors cautioning them and are they listening to those cautions?  And third, could God change it up even if they did hear Him correctly and they are in the midst of obeying that voice?  Abraham is an example of what I am referring to.  In Genesis 22, Abraham heard the voice of God instruct him to take his son, Isaac, up the mountain to sacrifice him.  Abraham gathers his supplies the next morning along with his son and set out to the place God told him to go.  He bound his son, took out his knife, raised his arms and all of a sudden heard a voice from heaven saying, “Abraham, Abraham…do not lay a hand on the boy.”  What if Abraham insisted on following God’s voice from the first command and resisted the second voice?

Don’t get stuck, cornered, or manipulated by others even when they are confident in their hearing.  We can bring an appropriate challenge to those who use these phrases.  In the end, they are responsible to properly discern in their hearing, but we do not have to always agree.  When we use these phrases, let’s be sure it is God and continue listening because He may change it up.

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