There are plenty of differences in relational styles. Some of us are more verbal and others more auditory and the like. Some are slow responders and others are really quick on their feet. Relational styles even differ on how they like to receive information or requests, e.g., phone calls, text messages, email, Facebook messaging, etc. But when we are leading a group of people and those persons cannot obtain a timely response from us through any of the various means of communication mentioned, then we are requiring those same persons to chase us.
Chasing leaders is not fun. In fact, sometimes it’s downright frustrating and futile. If you’re a leader who needs to be chased, then please, for the sake of the team and the sanity of others, listen up.
No one, I repeat, no one enjoys chasing their leader in order to get things done or make a decision. In fact, if you’re a leader that has to be continually chased, then you’re a leader who does not care as deeply as you should for those whom you lead. If your subordinate or even your supervisor has to call you, text you, email you or send smoke signals repeatedly for a response, then you are in effect dishonoring them by sending the message that your time is more valuable than their time. It conveys that you are too caught up in your world to respond in a timely fashion. Making it difficult to get a response from you slows down efficiency, inhibits order, frustrates relationships and spreads an, “I don’t care attitude” around the workplace.
If you’re this person, here are some suggested changes for you:
- If providing an accurate response is going to take some extra time, then begin by sending a brief message in return like, “I’ve gotten your request and I will get back to you by the end of the week.” Then, follow through on your word.
- If you have an administrator type person, ask them to get back to the request to discuss a time to connect.
- If people are reminding you that they are calling once again, pick up on that, you might have already begun to frustrate them.
- Maybe you’re the forgetful type. Write down or place a message on your phone to remind yourself to return the call within a certain time frame.
- Apologize for responding too slowly and make a commitment to the person to respond in a more timely fashion in the future.
Finally, if this speaks to you, confess that you deal with this issue and be accountable to change for the better, because those whom you oversee and those who oversee you are counting on it and integrity in leadership requires it.
Some years ago I was meeting with a young married man for various counseling issues. I really cannot remember what they were, but I do remember one thing from that time. He inadvertently mentioned that he enjoyed “breaking and entering.” I said, “You what?” He shared that for years he and his friends would break into garages and sheds and steal small items simply for, “The thrill of it.” I shared, “You do know that stealing is against the law, not to mention one of the Ten Commandments, right?” He assured me that he did, but added that no one has been hurt by his actions and that he enjoyed the dare and the challenge. “Further,” he said, “I find nothing wrong with it.” I added, “But I thought you told me you were a Christian.” He assured me he was.
A counseling plan: During his history statement he shared that he and his wife had a young son who was five years old. I had a plan. I looked straight at him and with boldness said, “I recommend you take your five year-old son along with you and the gang the next time you decide to break into a place.” He said, “What?” “Yea,” I continued, “Take your son, he’s small and you can put him through a window and then he can unlock the door for you to enter.” With a wrinkled face he replied, “I thought you said you were a Christian counselor.” “I am,” I told him. “But here’s the thing…start your son out young and train him thoroughly in thievery so he can be just like his dad.” I went on to say, “In commonality the two of you can have some real father/son bonding time breaking into sheds and garages.” I went on to say, “You’ll be so proud when he becomes just like you!”
redemptive process from the inside out. To know God and to know His love is to live within this ongoing process. To not know Him is to live outside this process.
I know of scarcely anything more difficult, more challenging and more humbling than expressing forgiveness. But at the same time, I know of scarcely anything more freeing than forgiveness. In the Holocaust documentary titled Shoah, a Warsaw ghetto victim states, “If you could lick my heart, it would poison you.” Nothing depicts a non-forgiving heart better than that picture. Author Gary Thomas once wrote, “We will be sinned against, and we will be hurt. When that happens, we will have a choice to make: We can give in to our hurt, resentment, and bitterness, or we can grow as a Christian and learn yet another important lesson on how to forgive.”
Forgiving is not something we naturally love to do. Even though we have been forgiven of so much and have fully come short of God’s ideal, we love to withhold forgiveness simply because (we might tell ourselves) the person has not suffered sufficiently for what they did to us. The truth is, One already suffered so we could be forgiven; we must now make the choice to do likewise (See Colossians 3:13). To do anything less is to take a position of critical judgment, freely giving ourselves over to the use of the evil one in heady, heartless self-righteousness.
Integrity is a condition we choose to walk in. If we choose not to walk in integrity, we will eventually need intervention in our lives. The following are examples of life lessons in integrity.
ews 5: 8, 9; Proverbs 29:10)
Steve Prokopchak 