Category Archives: Training

Children, Parents, Training

Teaching Your Children to Steal

imagesSome years ago I was meeting with a young married man for various counseling issues. I really cannot remember what they were, but I do remember one thing from that time. He inadvertently mentioned that he enjoyed “breaking and entering.” I said, “You what?” He shared that for years he and his friends would break into garages and sheds and steal small items simply for, “The thrill of it.”   I shared, “You do know that stealing is against the law, not to mention one of the Ten Commandments, right?”   He assured me that he did, but added that no one has been hurt by his actions and that he enjoyed the dare and the challenge. “Further,” he said, “I find nothing wrong with it.” I added, “But I thought you told me you were a Christian.” He assured me he was.images-4

images-3A counseling plan: During his history statement he shared that he and his wife had a young son who was five years old. I had a plan. I looked straight at him and with boldness said, “I recommend you take your five year-old son along with you and the gang the next time you decide to break into a place.” He said, “What?” “Yea,” I continued, “Take your son, he’s small and you can put him through a window and then he can unlock the door for you to enter.” With a wrinkled face he replied, “I thought you said you were a Christian counselor.” “I am,” I told him. “But here’s the thing…start your son out young and train him thoroughly in thievery so he can be just like his dad.” I went on to say, “In commonality the two of you can have some real father/son bonding time breaking into sheds and garages.” I went on to say, “You’ll be so proud when he becomes just like you!”

He committed all the sins his father had done before him; his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God…   (I Kings 15:3)

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Issues of the Day, Marriage, Training

Redemptive Love – Changing a Life

Redemption. It means to be repurchased, bought back, atoned for, rescued. It is what Jesus, our Redeemer, does. He came to earth to redeem; to change our lives one soul at a time. While salvation is not fully completed on this earth, it does initiate thatvalentine_day_art redemptive process from the inside out. To know God and to know His love is to live within this ongoing process. To not know Him is to live outside this process.

Four couples and four stories of redemption will be vulnerably shared on February 11th, 2017, at Newport Church in Elm, PA. When you and your spouse or as a single participate in this day, you will hear life-changing testimonies of couples who walked through pain-filled experiences with drugs and alcohol addiction, sexual addiction, financial ruin and the premature death of a spouse and child. You will be challenged by their stories and encouraged by their progressions of healing. And, you will have take-a-ways of redemptive ideas to bring into your relationships.

The day is free with a small charge for lunch and an offering will be taken. Please consider coming. I know you will be blessed. Call 717.627.1996 to register today. You can also view the event details at this link:

https://dcfi.org/resorces/seminars/redemptive-love-couples-day/

 

 

 

 

 

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Marriage, Parents, Singles, Training

Forgiving One Another

images-13I know of scarcely anything more difficult, more challenging and more humbling than expressing forgiveness. But at the same time, I know of scarcely anything more freeing than forgiveness. In the Holocaust documentary titled Shoah, a Warsaw ghetto victim states, “If you could lick my heart, it would poison you.” Nothing depicts a non-forgiving heart better than that picture. Author Gary Thomas once wrote, “We will be sinned against, and we will be hurt. When that happens, we will have a choice to make: We can give in to our hurt, resentment, and bitterness, or we can grow as a Christian and learn yet another important lesson on how to forgive.”

images-12Forgiving is not something we naturally love to do. Even though we have been forgiven of so much and have fully come short of God’s ideal, we love to withhold forgiveness simply because (we might tell ourselves) the person has not suffered sufficiently for what they did to us. The truth is, One already suffered so we could be forgiven; we must now make the choice to do likewise (See Colossians 3:13). To do anything less is to take a position of critical judgment, freely giving ourselves over to the use of the evil one in heady, heartless self-righteousness.

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Leadership, Training

What Years of Ministry has Taught Me About Integrity

imagesIntegrity is a condition we choose to walk in. If we choose not to walk in integrity, we will eventually need intervention in our lives.  The following are examples of life lessons in integrity.

  1. Integrity is God’s choice for me. (I Kings 9:4)

 

  1. Integrity is a choice that I must choose. (Job 27:5,6; Psalm 7:8)

 

  1. Integrity starts in my heart. (I Chronicles 29:17)

 

  1. It is easier to not be a man or woman of integrity. (Job 2:9)

 

  1. It is something that you grow in. (Psalm 103:13,14)

 

  1. Finding a model to emulate is helpful, as well as being that model. (Titus 2:7)

 

  1. It means humbling ourselves when we fail. (Romans 12:3)

 

  1. It means not being able to defend yourself before others at times. (Psalm 25:21; 41:12)

 

  1. Jesus maintained integrity before men who constantly judged him. ( Mark 12:14; Hebrimages-2ews 5: 8, 9; Proverbs 29:10)

 

  1. The closer we come to Jesus, the more integral we become. (Proverbs 2:21; 10:9 NLT; 11:3; 13:6)
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Encouragement, Small Groups, Training

The Four P’s

images-5 Have you ever heard of the four P’s? If not, here they are:

People of risk; Places of risk; Possessions of risk; Processes of risk

Those who are in Christ are called a new creation (II Corinthians 5:17) and in order to fight the forces of our past, God will give us wisdom and insight into how to resist the pull of finding ourself off course.images-6

There once were people in our lives who helped us to sin. I call them people of risk. These were the ones who always knew where the party was. As we are learning to walk a different way, people of risk should be avoided. Further, quite often people of risk are found in places of risk. These are the places that you now realize are places of darkness. We, through the discernment of the Holy Spirit, need to steer clear of these places so as to not be tempted to re-enter our former life, at least until we are strong enough to handle the temptations of that former life style.

images-7Possessions of risk are those items that enabled us to disobey God or at the very least did not draw us toward our Savior. An example of one of those items might be inappropriate books. In the book of Acts, chapter nineteen, the new believers actually conducted a book burning. They burned their possessions of risk. In this case, they were books of sorcery.

The last one is processes of risk. This one is a bit difficult to define, but can you think of a time when God spoke to you and revealed that your present way of thinking was a part of your old mindset? The scriptures reveal that we have been given the mind of Christ (I Corinthians 2:16). So, a process of risk might be a return to anger or jealousy in order to get what you want. The Father wants to give you a new process in order to arrive at what He desires for you.images-2

There you have it, the four P’s. How can they help you walk differently today and when can you share them with another?

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Children, Parents, Training

18 Ways to Train Children and Teens to be Financially Responsible

images-31Ever wonder why some people have strong financial skills and others missed that class? For the most part, it’s in the parental training or lack thereof. Some young people never experienced financial training or a good example of responsible stewardship while growing up and others had to discover for themselves the hard way, through loss. There is a better way, however. Take the financial lessons you have learned and use them as a teaching tool to those little ones in your life, either as a parent, a grandparent or a caretaker. Their future teachers and employers will love you for it. Author and financial teacher Larry Burkett once said that we are not responsible for our children’s decisions, but we are responsible for their training. Here are some “training” insights to consider when it comes to handling money:images-30

  1. It all begins and hinges on helping them to understand that God owns it all. We are to be the best stewards of everything He shares with us.
  2. Be generous and teach generosity. There is no greater blessing than to give.
  3. Teach the difference between self-discipline, delayed gratification, and immediate self-gratification along with the direct consequences of each one.
  4. Be an example of all things in moderation vs. excess.

images-275. Give your children regular and meaningful responsibilities – jobs without pay, e.g., picking up their toys.

6. Do not give an unearned, free ride allowance, but rather give your children regular jobs with generous pay, e.g., mowing the lawn or folding the cloths.

7. Teach your children to tithe from every dollar earned or given to them. It is all God’s but discipline in regular giving grows a  habit.images-35

8. Teach your children to save a percentage of their income for the future (30-50%), all the while designating a percentage of what can be spent immediately.

9. Teach the difference between an asset and a liability – a consumable.

10. Train your children to follow through. They must learn to complete the job in the way requested or there is no reward.

11.Help them to understand the concept of investing and how that will help them beyond today into the future.

12.Develop a budget with your child as soon as they can comprehend the idea. It will serve them the remainder of their life.images-34

13. Start a savings account and when age appropriate, obtain a checking account and an ATM card. Teach them how to responsibly use and balance them.

14. Train them in the proper use of credit and how the borrower is servant to the lender.

15. Share with them the difference between paying interest and growing interest on their money/investment.

16. Share with your children your financial mistakes and how they can learn and benefit from them.

17. As is appropriate, walk them through all other financial concepts like loans, taxes, utilities, owning a home, maintenance, buying a car, auto repairs, insurance, etc.

18. And finally, take the time to teach your children what God takes the time to teach you about money and His resources. They’re never too young to learn.

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Children, Training

Our Children and Money

imagesAs parents we are responsible for our children’s view, value, use and relationship with money. How we use our finances, whether or not we use a budget, if we maintain a balance on our monthly credit card statements, how liberally we share with others and our tithing practices are all acts of training our children in finances. Exercising financial restraint versus instant gratification is also valuable child rearing. Financial stewardship and how we recognize God’s ownership of our money speaks volumes to our children who are watching us make transactions on a daily basis. How we handle our money, it is said, is an outside indicator of an inside spiritual condition.  Below are some ways in which we trained our children to handle and how to value money.

  •  First and foremost, gaining money is not the total goal, but rather being the best steward possible of what we do receive and/or earn is.
  • Teach your children to tithe off of their income/gifts and also to share with those in need. Coupled with this is the realization that it is all God’s, 100%.
  • Teach them to save for something they desire and not to borrow for it (delayed gratification). They will appreciate it a whole lot more and they will take better care of the item.
  • Teach them to invest for the future. Our sons saved for their first car in which they paid cash.
  • Teach your children the value of work and that they earn an allowance, it is not handed to them. Our children had an hour or so of “work time” every summer day and many Saturdays, along with daily chores. Our kids really learned to appreciate this work ethic in their first year of college.
  • Teach your children a certain standard of work. It must be acceptable in order to earn their allowance or pay. Our children still talk about this around our table today.
  • Be clear about your financial boundaries and do not give in to what every other parent is doing. Financial value boundaries will protect your children.
  • Use a formula similar to the following: 10% tithe; 50% savings; 10% rainy day fund and 30% spending money.
  • Older children can pay room and board (those who are working and out of school); be taught to use an ATM appropriately; learn to make and live by a budget; learn to write checks and use a credit card appropriately by paying off the monthly balance in full.
  • Teach your children about investments, savings, ownership of a home, home maintenance, assets verses liabilities, car payments, proper vehicle maintenance and insurance costs.
  • Here is a huge one, allow your children to fail and make mistakes financially while they live at home and then incorporate that mistake as a learning tool. Better now than when they no longer live with you.
  • Teach your children the many Proverbs and scriptural principles found in the Bible that deal with money.  For example: …”the borrower is servant to the lender.” Proverbs 22:7

If you will do this, your children will return to thank you, earn their own way as responsible and productive adults and not look for ongoing entitlement, gifts and handouts from their parents and others.images-2

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Children, Training

I Got Cheese in my Peaches – Traditions

IMG_0991Not long ago I was babysitting my (at that time) less than eighteen-month-old grandson, Roman. For lunch, his parents prepared a variety of items, two of which were peaches and some string cheese. I gave him his bowl of peaches along with his spoon. Tearing the cheese into smaller pieces I laid those on his high-chair tray. What he did next caused me to wonder. With each piece of cheese he methodically and carefully placed it into his bowl of peaches. He then ate them together with each spoon full. Spontaneously, we began to sing a made-up-on-the-spot song with the words: I got cheese in my peaches, I got cheese in my peaches, I got cheese in my peaches all day long — all day long!

Later I realized that I too like cheese and fruit together. Years ago while in Scotland, I was introduced to a spreadable cheese which they taught me to place on my toast. Secondly came a beautiful fruit jam on top of the cheese spread. Ever since then, I have on many occasions, placed cheese and fruit jam on my morning toast. (Stop laughing and give it a try, it’s actually really good.) Perhaps Roman was playing with his food at the time, but he found a combination that worked for his taste buds. Traditions are like that. Some of them begin by mistake, but end up becoming a part of our life. The dictionary states that traditions are elements of culture handed down from one generation to another. Have you discovered some good and some not so good generational traditions handed down to you? I certainly have and it reminds me of a key, life-changing verse in the book of Peter that I am extremely thankful for.

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers. I Peter 1: 18

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Encouragement, Leadership, Prayer, Training

The Value of a Sabbatical

images-3Taking a sabbatical is not a new concept. The word Sabbath taken from the Old Testament of the Bible simply means rest. It seems that God understood the concept of cessation and not just for man, but He also included the fields and the animals. (See Leviticus 25:3-4 and Exodus 23:12) Rest is something we are all familiar with, but an extended period of rest (beyond the typical one week to ten-day vacation) to most is thought to be somewhat unreasonable. Cindy Kirschner Goodman in her McClatchy Tribune article on sabbaticals said that, “Among the Fortune 100 Best Places to Work, 22 companies boast of offering fully paid sabbaticals.” She went on to write, “Companies find if they don’t do something, their workers will burn out and leave, or worse burn out and stay.”

Charles Spurgeon once said, “Rest time is not waste time. It is economy to gather fresh strength… It is wisdom to take occasional furlough. In the long run, we shall do more by sometimes doing less.” In my lifetime I have had the privilege of experiencing three sabbatical periods. Each one was unique within itself, but without fail God spoke to me significantly. There is something about detaching and refocusing that allows one to be sharper in the spirit and allows for growth. Perhaps the secret is that a sabbatical is not an extended vacation or a time to pursue a degree, but it is a time set aside for prayer, reflection, listening, and counsel for a healthier future. On that note, I just finished a book titled, The Value of a Sabbatical, Refocusing Your Life for a Healthy Future and I am totally excited about helping others through God’s concept of a Sabbath rest.

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Encouragement, Leadership, Small Groups, Training, Uncategorized

Encountering Risky Business Through the Four P’s

images-6 (Note: I am sending this blog out early due to taking some vacation time next week.) Wanting to follow-up on last weeks post, I thought it appropriate to share four types of risk to steer clear of. I am unsure where some of these originated from, but I have used them for years in attempting to help others in their personal life. I have urged many to stay away from: people of risk; places of risk; possessions of risk; and processes of risk. What do I mean?

Often as a young believer, it is difficult to discern who to hang out with, old friends with bad habits or all new relationships. Initially, it might be advisable to stay away from those persons who are risky to your personal growth and change. Identifying persons of risk can eliminate being talked out of new life patterns. A place of risk is a pretty obvious one. In other words, for now stay clear of those establishments that allowed and promoted your former life-style of sin. Possessions of risk are a bit tougher to discern or even do away with. In Acts chapter 19, it was discovered that many new believers had been involved in sorcery. The new converts made a large bonfire and threw their sorcery scrolls into the fire. They eliminated many possessions of risk. Today this may include books/magazines, music CD’s or even computer games.

Lastly, it is important to consider processes of risk. Process is the connection to our thoughts. For example, prior to becoming a Christian our process of thought when being verbally attacked might have been inordinate anger or running away. Both became familiar and established life patterns, but both of these can be risky due to the fact that we might not be processing truthfully. As the word of God is received and acted upon, our responses will begin to change because our thought processes encounter truth and truth will set us free from former life patterns of risk. Which of the four P’s are you working on?

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