There are those who attend church on Sunday and live according to anything but those thoughts Monday through Saturday. I can remember as a young teen listening to the minister read the scripture Sunday morning and then close by saying, “Here endeth the word of the Lord for today.” I remember thinking, I’ve got news for you; here endeth the word for the week for me. So, yes, I’ve felt like a fake and I’ve been a fake at times.
Someone once wrote, “If you were being accused of being a ‘fake Christian,’ what evidence would you present to prove otherwise?” I thought that to be a fair and probing question to think about.
Then there was this story from a devotional by Dennis and Barbara Rainy that my wife and I read on the topic of being a fake.
“A young man who had just graduated from law school set up an office, proudly displaying his shingle out front. On his first day at work, as he sat at his desk with his door open, he was wondering how he would get his first client when he heard footsteps approaching his office.
Not wanting this potential client to think that he would be the first, the young lawyer quickly picked up the telephone and began to talk loudly to a make-believe caller. “Oh yes sir!” he exclaimed into the phone. “I’m very experienced in corporate law…Courtroom experience? Why yes, I’ve had several cases.”
On and on this green lawyer went in his fake conversation when suddenly at the door appeared a man in work attire. The young lawyer hung up the phone and self-importantly asked how he could offer his services. “Well,” said the man with a smirk, “I’m from the telephone company and I’m here to hook up your phone.”
When we’re preoccupied with ourselves, we’re not thinking about how we can honor God. When we’re busy trying to look good, we’re not honoring God. And when we’re faking our “Christian deeds” or trying to use the right Christian clichés, we just might have our charades found out by the telephone repairman. Or, worse yet, God!
Marriage minefields are fields where we have buried or hidden devices (memories) just below the surface. We actually move forward in life by frequently looking backward. Most day-to-day life is not filled with new revelation but memory. Memory helps us to find our way home after work. Memory is used daily in order to live life. Life without the ability to recall even the slightest, most mundane details or important ones would be disastrous.
Some of our memories contain lies or misbeliefs and still others are inaccurate. It was not uncommon for John and Elizabeth (not their real names) to experience knock-down, drag-out arguments. In sheer frustration late one evening, John looked at Elizabeth and said, “That’s it; I’m out of here!” Immediately, Elizabeth went silent and fell to the floor in a fetal position, where she sobbed uncontrollably. Even though John ran immediately to his wife, knelt beside her, and desperately tried to console her, it was as if he had left. Elizabeth didn’t or couldn’t hear his voice or acknowledge his presence. John later discovered that when his wife was six years old, she overheard her parents fighting. Her father’s words rang out as he screamed, “That’s it; I’m out of here!” Elizabeth never saw her father again
Elizabeth was no longer fighting with John; she was wrestling with pain-filled memories planted in a minefield just below the surface. Was it the argument they needed to resolve, or was it Elizabeth’s past hurts that needed to be healed? From many stories like this one, I have come to believe that most relationship issues in the present have a connection to the past; therefore, what seem like marital issues are often individual issues. I am convinced that when Jesus heals our individual issues, sins, hurts, and disappointments, marriage relationship issues can also be healed. *
Many years ago, a wiser, older, more mature couple taught us this phrase: praise in public; construct in private. By that phrase they meant to always provide a word of praise for your mate when with your family, at your work place, with your friends or in any social setting. They also encouraged us to never, ever put our mate down, shame them, humiliate them or correct them in a negative sense in public. We took this counsel to heart and have adapted it for our marriage relationship.
Honestly, the most difficult times were when I had to enforce a boundary for my children as their father. Providing the appropriate discipline in the appropriate manner was often a challenge. Is there a difference between punishment and correction?
Correction takes time to administer because it includes instruction toward a different and healthier future. Punishment on the other hand is normally abrupt, more about reaction and often with little thought. Proverbs 29: 15 says that the rod of correction imparts life – correction imparts life! Job 5:17 tells us, “Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.”
Perhaps lechery is a word you are not familiar with. If you look into its meaning the dictionary states, “…unrestrained or excessive indulgence of sexual desire.” I have come across this “desire” within some marriages. Usually, it is the man who relentlessly pursues an inordinate desire for sexual relations, but this is not always the case.
I always loved being a father. While not the easiest job in the world, it was my favorite and most rewarding. Having children to hold, train, read to, discipline, play with and love is a God-given honor. And quite honestly, I made lots of mistakes as a father because there is no perfect earthly father.
Fathering is a call from God and it’s a higher priority than your job, your hobbies, your buddies, your house and mostly…yourself! If you still have children in your home or grandchildren, you have a direct link to build the life of Christ in them (Colossians 1:28). Be the type of father that represents Jesus well and determine to leave a legacy of love, acceptance and approval.
Recently we took our five-year-old grandson with us for a weekend away. It wasn’t uncommon for him to say, “I’m bored” or “This is boring.” I forgot how much entertainment a young child needs. It makes me think about how boring and predictable our marriages can become. So much of life is routine oriented, repeated each and every day like that old movie, Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray.
Recently Mary and I celebrated 44 years of marriage. Quite honestly, there have been those
The Bible reveals, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” (Eccl. 4:9) My marriage has had multiple “good returns” and I am so thankful for them. We’ve had the return of answered prayer together, the return of investment into the lives of others, the return of years of mission work, the return of children and grandchildren, etc. God’s returns just keep on coming.
“Ian, Ian, I’ve lost my son…his name is Ian! Ian, Ian, where are you? Help me,”screamed the frantic mom pushing the empty stroller down the aisle of terminal A. I had just arrived at my gate, returning home from being out of the country. This mom was hysterical and desperate. She had one single focus…finding her lost son. Everyone began standing, looking all around and wondering what they could do for this fear-filled young mother. Those persons who are parents immediately felt her pain because most could empathize with exactly what she felt having more than likely a similar situation happen at one time or another.
After a 3:00 AM start, long lines at Jet Blue Cuba in Ft Lauderdale, Florida and some very different immigration questioning entering the nation, a friend and I finally had feet on the ground in Cuba at 8:00 AM May 1st, 2019. About forty minutes later, our Cuban pastor contact came to pick us up in our rental car for the week.
Friday evening, we had a worship service at Luis’ building. (Luis’ home and church building are physically connected as are all of the “underground” churches.) The building would hold 125-150 somewhat comfortably, but we must have had well over 175 persons. The buildings in the city do not allow for air to flow through them and with the humidity and the number of bodies present, I’m guessing it was in the high 90’s. Our pants and our shirts were soaked through with sweat. But the worship was awesome and Luis allowed me to share the word that night.
Luis asked me to give an alter call and I am guessing around dozen plus people came forward to give their lives to Jesus. And then it was like someone threw a match on a pile of gasoline-soaked rags. The place exploded with dancing, prayer, deliverance and fiery worship. We came back to our room around midnight exhausted, but a bit dumbfounded at the revival and presence of God in this place.
Steve Prokopchak 