Tag Archives: faith

Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Issues of the Day, Men, Parents, Singles, Small Groups, Training, Women

Change Is Hard: The Law of Constant Use

Have you set goals for 2024? Do you know what you desire to accomplish and when you desire to accomplish it? Maybe you have some goals left over from 2023. I know I do. 

But what about personal life goals? How do we see growth and change in our personal lives? Dealing with oneself is often a bit more challenging.

First and foremost, let’s remember God changes the heart. He brings His truth to us with His request for change. So, change begins with a heart to obey God and make the changes He is requesting of us. In fact, His word reveals that we show Him how much we love Him by how willing we are to obey Him. (See John 14:15.)

From the conviction in our heart, the scriptures give us a pattern for change and I like to refer to it as The Law of Constant Use.

The Law of Constant Use provides a three-part scriptural process for change from what we are accustomed to doing to what God desires of us. How does it work and how do we start the process of change?

Jeremiah 13:23 reveals, “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil.” What are you “accustomed to” doing? We become so accustomed to our actions and our thoughts that we often go through life without asking ourselves whether what we think, what we believe and what we do is correct.

The second verse in this process of change is, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” (Proverbs 14:23) It is hard work to change. Don’t let anybody fool you or tell you it’s easy. This verse reminds us that true change is not just talking about change. We all have known those persons who have promised change, but yet never deliver. Why?

When we have programed ourselves to think a certain way or act a certain way, the reprograming part takes effort. We all have believed things that are simply not true about ourselves or others. And yet, we continued in those beliefs until we were confronted with the truth. However, even then we may have struggled to believe something different. We tend to always give ourselves and our beliefs the benefit of the doubt.

There is a third step in this process. Hebrews 5:12-14 wisely records, “In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”

The Spirit of God wants to bring forth a new reality, that which you may not be accustomed to. He wants to take you from the milk of His word to the meat, a maturation process of change. He is letting us know that past experience is not necessarily present reality. God in our spirit is retraining us to be accustomed to His voice, His reality and His will. And by “constant use” we can experience change that becomes permanent!

Yes, change is challenging, but when God is at the center of the desired change, He makes a way for correcting our course. He provides a path for change. When we constantly incorporate His truth, His thoughts and His ways, enduring change will take place in our lives.

What do you (or perhaps better asked, what does God) desire to change in you in this brand-new year He has given?

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Challenge, Encouragement, Issues of the Day, Prayer

Worry Less; Pray More – Pray More; Worry Less

There’s a lot to worry about! Everyone worries–right? 

What do you worry about? Your job? Your kids? Your marriage? Your future? Your health?

Why do we worry? What is it about human nature that gives us permission to worry? Is it feeling out of control? Is it overthinking? Or, are we trying to manipulate outcomes in our head? 

Worry is often connected to the future and what hasn’t occurred as yet. Worry can be very self-centered but not always. Worry keeps us clinging onto our own personal control of an issue. Worry carries with it the connotation that I know best or I control my circumstances. 

We all worry. We all live a life experiencing the inability to maintain full control, and that, is worrisome. When we lack control we worry, we obsess, we overthink and we lose sleep. 

Rick Warren says, “[Worry] can’t change the past, and it can’t change the future–but it can certainly ruin the present.” Worry will steal our joy and our happiness. It will rob us of our peace. 

Here is one of the best statements I have read when it comes to worry: “Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about things you cannot change. Prayer is a conversation you have with God about things He can change.” So, yes, prayer is the antidote for worry.

But that’s easier said than done. Worry seems like a natural and a quicker go-to than prayer. Maybe it’s just the way the enemy of our soul wants it because worry negates prayer. Said another way, worry is the opposite of prayer. Worry forces me to work out the situation while prayer puts the pressure upon God to bring the solution. When worrying, we can be attempting to control. When we pray, we can sense contentment as we present our petitions to the Father.

What does the Bible have to offer when it comes to worry? Philippians 4:6 states, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Wow, that seems simple enough–worry about nothing and pray about everything!

And what did Jesus say when it comes to worry? “Don’t worry about tomorrow. After all, tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) 

When we turn things over to God, we are at the same time confessing that we cannot control the situation. We are acting in submission to God and trusting His outcome. We worry about things that are out of our control, while God insists we accept that very lack of control and fully realize His control. Prayer will change your perspective and it will change you. Choosing prayer is letting go of control and trusting God for His outcome, not yours. 

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Premarital, Women

Marriage Issues are “Our” Issues

Someone recently commented to my wife and I, “Wow, it encourages us to know that Steve and Mary had marriages issues too.” They were reading about our marriage in our book, Staying Together. We laughed as we confessed there is no perfect couple or perfect marriage.

In the book, we describe something traumatic that occurred to Mary, my wife. And in the book, we described how it affected our marriage for several years. 

An issue Mary was dealing with became a marriage issue because we are one. What affects Mary affects Steve; what affects Steve affects Mary. 

I could have gone on in life and lived in a manner that blamed her for the issue. I could have told her to get counseling for herself without me by her side. I could have distanced myself from the issues that were causing other issues and simply said, “It’s your problem; get it fixed.”

But is that the right approach in marriage? Is that showing marital commitment? Is that caring for another’s needs? Husbands and wives take this approach everyday saying, “It’s not my problem.” But if we’re married–if we’re one–then it is not his or her problem, it is our problem. When I make it my spouse’s problem, I am saying that I do not need to change, I do not need to support them and I do not need to be concerned. But, when I make it our problem, we are then walking and working together toward solutions and a better and a stronger outcome.

Marriage is a gift of oneness. There are three mentions of oneness in the scriptures: God the Father, Son and Spirit are one. Jesus and His church are one. A husband and a wife are one. 

As one, individual problems become our problems. So, get in there and fight for and alongside your spouse through each and every life issue. Find solutions together. Walk together and pray together. And to that end, find agreement together over any and all life issues.

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