Tag Archives: relationship

Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Women

Marriage Disappointment

Marriage is never 100% awesome and amazing. It’s hard sometimes and sometimes we say the wrong things. Sometimes we think the wrong things or do the wrong things. For everyone who is married, we are all on a learning path, a growing path. If your marriage has become critical or stale, it’s up to you to change that. If your marriage has become a disappointment in some form or fashion, perhaps you’ve veered from the path and have lost your way on the journey. 

The story is told that in his later years the legendary Babe Ruth had became overweight, slower, and struck out far more frequently. The baseball fans began to jeer him.

Apparently, the displeasure of the fans got to a small boy who leaped over the railing and ran onto the field to wrap his arms around the legs of this declining athlete. With tears plentiful in his eyes, the little boy expressed his love for the man that he knew he once was. The Babe picked the little boy up and embraced him as well. Together they walked hand in hand to the dugout. The crowd’s displeasure turned to cheers for the display of unconditional love on the field that day.

Your marital love is like that picture. Our marriage becomes “overweight” or “slower” and we “strike out” sometimes with our words and our actions or lack thereof. We fail each other occasionally. We make errors in the game of marriage and we disappoint one another. 

But regardless of how we may feel, every once in a while we need to wrap our arms around each other and express our undying love and remain faithfully on the journey of growing older together. 

                HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

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Challenge, Encouragement, Healing, Marriage, Men, Postmarital, Premarital, Women

Marriage Issues are “Our” Issues

Someone recently commented to my wife and I, “Wow, it encourages us to know that Steve and Mary had marriages issues too.” They were reading about our marriage in our book, Staying Together. We laughed as we confessed there is no perfect couple or perfect marriage.

In the book, we describe something traumatic that occurred to Mary, my wife. And in the book, we described how it affected our marriage for several years. 

An issue Mary was dealing with became a marriage issue because we are one. What affects Mary affects Steve; what affects Steve affects Mary. 

I could have gone on in life and lived in a manner that blamed her for the issue. I could have told her to get counseling for herself without me by her side. I could have distanced myself from the issues that were causing other issues and simply said, “It’s your problem; get it fixed.”

But is that the right approach in marriage? Is that showing marital commitment? Is that caring for another’s needs? Husbands and wives take this approach everyday saying, “It’s not my problem.” But if we’re married–if we’re one–then it is not his or her problem, it is our problem. When I make it my spouse’s problem, I am saying that I do not need to change, I do not need to support them and I do not need to be concerned. But, when I make it our problem, we are then walking and working together toward solutions and a better and a stronger outcome.

Marriage is a gift of oneness. There are three mentions of oneness in the scriptures: God the Father, Son and Spirit are one. Jesus and His church are one. A husband and a wife are one. 

As one, individual problems become our problems. So, get in there and fight for and alongside your spouse through each and every life issue. Find solutions together. Walk together and pray together. And to that end, find agreement together over any and all life issues.

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