This is the fifth in a series of what traits to look for in a life mate.  While the following sets a high standard, one that perhaps few will initially reach, each area identified is an important character trait to look for and inquire about as you consider a lifelong marriage partner.

5. Does this person challenge you to grow spiritually, emotionally and intellectually?  Does this person hold standards that you desire to reach?  Does he/she help you to recognize and pursue your potential?  Does he/she encourage you to strive for higher levels of knowledge and experience and to be a well-rounded individual?  Does this person inspire you to be a better person and follower of Christ?  (Colossians 1:28)  Do you receive the sense that this person is more interested in your well-being than their own? (Philippians 2:1-7)

Recently, I was reading a friend’s birthday card which said, “I’ve talked about myself enough…”  When you opened the card it then read, “How about you talk about me now.”  Selfishly funny wasn’t it?  Do you get anything close to that kind of feeling around this person?  Loving to talk about themselves, they listen to you only until they can find a place of interruption with something like, “That reminds me of when I…”  I don’t know about you, but I enjoy being around those who take a personal interest, those who really do want to hear how I am doing and those who are not looking at their watch when I am in the middle of sharing an important feeling or spiritual challenge.  I desire others who care enough to challenge me to raise it up a notch.  It says that they see a capacity for a greater potential in me.  This person loves me enough to care about my personal growth.  If we are not being challenged and consequently changed to become a better person by our closest relationships, then our relationships are most likely changing us for the negative.