It’s been a long and grueling workday for him. So many expectations from the boss and those workmates. Some days are way too long even though they’re all nine hours plus a commute. The final straw was the traffic encountered on the drive home and the red lights; why so many red lights?

She’s been wrestling with three toddlers all day long. Could the day become any longer, especially when the youngest simply refused nap time and now can not stop fussing? The young mom can’t wait for “relief” to come through the door. Perhaps then she’ll find the time to get the wash done and clean up the kitchen while at the same time thinking about dinner for everyone.

When she hears the garage door go up, who or what will she see coming through the back door. When he arrives home, that place of solace, will he find peace? Both of you are exhausted and both of you are looking for a breather. The two of you are expecting a hug, a listening ear or maybe even a kiss. You both could use a break, but instead you find a drained life mate simply wanting to lay on the couch and catch their breath.

Rather than being the person everyone would love to come home to, you find yourselves arguing once again. And it’s always over the smallest, most insignificant stuff. What is wrong with us?

You have forgotten how to ready yourself for one another. You have lost that spirit of anticipation. You have allowed yourself and your problems to become bigger than the two of you. Rather than thinking about the love of your life returning home, you’re thinking about how many times you’ve been spit up on and how many messes you have cleaned up through the day. His head is still at work rehearsing the demands of his job and how will he get through another day before the weekend break.

Can you recall when you were engaged and getting ready for a date night? The anticipation was building by the moment. There was no distraction that was going to keep you from one another’s arms. The stuff of life did not get in the way of the two of you. You worked on looking your best, thinking your best, and being your best. Where did all that go and who says it has to leave?

The two of you can get it back. Work at anticipating and being the person your spouse desires, no, longs to come home to. Rather than the typical argument of who is the most tired or how long your day was, be the one who drops as much as possible in order to greet your spouse with a kiss, a facial expression of “I missed you,” and an embrace of “It’s good to have you home!” 

As you work together through the evening, be sure to save time for yourselves. Find an hour to talk and to pray through your day. Create some “us” time so you can hear each other’s heart. Be good to one another and anticipate a daily time of connecting.