Author Archives: calledtogether

Encouragement, Marriage

On Going to the Doctor

images-6When it comes to doctors I am typically the “wait and see” type of patient. If I have an issue, I wait and see believing that it will eventually go away. But on those rare occasions when I do have a legitimate physical problem I have discovered that I do not like the waiting rooms (where sick people live, breathe and cough all over you), the clipboards with my address and phone update requests (yes, it’s still the same), the medical smells (especially the smells), the questions (which have become more and more intrusive), the waiting a second time in the examination room (sometimes longer than the first wait), the second set of questions when the Dr. actually shows up (Really, didn’t we already cover this?). I don’t even like the phone process that you have to go through to secure an appointment (I am people, you are people, CAN I TALK TO A PERSON?). The whole thing is just…well, unnerving, expensive and upon leaving I take one big breath (as if I have been holding it for the last 63 minutes) in the parking lot while running to my car.

images-7Enter my wife, Mary, my favorite nurse who works at the very same doctor’s office. She faces all of the above with far worse patients than her husband. She faces those whose frustrations have gotten the best of them; those who refuse to be weighed for obvious reasons, those who are dying a slow death; those who really do not need to see a doctor, but their health care pays 100% for the sniffles; those who do not bathe regularly and those who have screaming, out of control kids. It is her goal to be Jesus to her patients, to share compassion with those who are hurting, each and every one of them. Her stories of serving them in a loving and selfless way are a challenge to my faith. And, every once in a long while, just maybe, one of those patients will smile back at her, thank her or say some life-giving words like, “I wish you were my nurse every time I came to the doctor.” When I am sick, I am thinking about myself and not the one caring for me. It is these times and it is these places that provide a test of my own heart, a check on my attitude.  I need to get over myself and remember that I represent Jesus as well.

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Leadership

Leadership is Influence

images-4Someone once said that leadership is influence – no more, no less. However, leadership and management are not one in the same.  A managers role is to manage, but leaders influence toward change.  Are you doing more management today or more changing of those you influence?  John Maxwell calls it “The law of influence.”   That said, a major issue for nonprofit leaders is that we typically work with volunteers and not paid employees.  Paid employees are leveraged by their income to do what their leader says to do or their job is at stake.  Most local church leaders do not have that ingredient of leverage, only their influence via their relationships.  Volunteers are not forced to follow the vision, they choose to and so much of that choice is connected to their belief in their leaders.  Leadership in a not-for-profit can become more challenging than leadership within the marketplace for these very reasons.

The other day I was asking myself (thinking about), How much leadership (influence) do I have with those whom I serve through leading? It’s a good question because I do not desire to simply manage, I desire to also coach toward change.  Author and pastor Andy Stanley says most parents do their parenting by reward and reprimand, but should actually be coaching their children.  I appreciate this thought in reference to leadership and spiritual parenting.  If spiritual parenting were simply reward when you do well and chastisement when you do poorly, how are you training or leading toward change?  But, if through the process we sit down with those we lead, connecting through our relationship, we can begin to speak into their lives with the appropriate questions, observations, wisdom and prayerful insights.  Again, relationship is the key because there is not an exchange of goods or finances for services. Maybe you know the old leadership proverb: “He who thinks he leads, but has not followers, is only taking a walk.”  So, “Work hard and become a leader…”  Proverbs 12:24

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Encouragement, Leadership, Prayer, Training

The Value of a Sabbatical

images-3Taking a sabbatical is not a new concept. The word Sabbath taken from the Old Testament of the Bible simply means rest. It seems that God understood the concept of cessation and not just for man, but He also included the fields and the animals. (See Leviticus 25:3-4 and Exodus 23:12) Rest is something we are all familiar with, but an extended period of rest (beyond the typical one week to ten-day vacation) to most is thought to be somewhat unreasonable. Cindy Kirschner Goodman in her McClatchy Tribune article on sabbaticals said that, “Among the Fortune 100 Best Places to Work, 22 companies boast of offering fully paid sabbaticals.” She went on to write, “Companies find if they don’t do something, their workers will burn out and leave, or worse burn out and stay.”

Charles Spurgeon once said, “Rest time is not waste time. It is economy to gather fresh strength… It is wisdom to take occasional furlough. In the long run, we shall do more by sometimes doing less.” In my lifetime I have had the privilege of experiencing three sabbatical periods. Each one was unique within itself, but without fail God spoke to me significantly. There is something about detaching and refocusing that allows one to be sharper in the spirit and allows for growth. Perhaps the secret is that a sabbatical is not an extended vacation or a time to pursue a degree, but it is a time set aside for prayer, reflection, listening, and counsel for a healthier future. On that note, I just finished a book titled, The Value of a Sabbatical, Refocusing Your Life for a Healthy Future and I am totally excited about helping others through God’s concept of a Sabbath rest.

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Encouragement, Prayer

That Quiet, But Clear Inner Voice

images-2Nicky road dirt bike and so did I. One weekend I found myself with little to do and a very clear voice inside of me saying, “Call Nicky and ask him if he wants to go riding.” I hardly knew the kid; he was my mechanics son. I might have only ever exchanged a few brief paragraphs with him, but still that inner nudge was present. Why would he ride with me I questioned? I dismissed the thought as a bit far-fetched, maybe even ridiculous and went off riding in the beautiful Pennsylvania mountains by myself.

Monday morning came with some very disturbing news that I will never forget. Nicky was driving home late Sunday night after a date with his girlfriend. It was a cold and slippery fall night to drive back up the dark mountainside. Nicky was driving too fast for conditions, rolled his truck down the side of the mountain and was thrown from the vehicle. I know I missed an opportunity that God was attempting to give to me and I have regretted it ever since.

At Nicky’s funeral I asked God’s forgiveness… and, I apologized to Nicky.

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Encouragement, Prayer

Listening to God, What’s the Potential II

Did you know that the invention of the colored paper clip made far more money than the plain old metal one? It is the improvement on an existing invention that seems to have a larger impact. The bow has been around for many centuries. In more recent years, we have seen a huge improvement on the speed an arrow can travel through the use of the compound bow. Still even more recent was the invention of the solo-cam compound bow. The inventor, Matt McPherson, first started producing this bow in 1992. It was the only bow with a single-cam technology. Matt, of the Mathews Bow Company states, “I can truly say that I have seen the hand of God in everything that has happened in our business…somehow, God has given me the gift to see the finished product in my mind and avoid a lot of steps in between.”images

In listening to God, Matt states that he received a “heavenly download” for an invention. Once again, that invention was an improvement on something that already exists. These persons did not settle for, “It’s good enough as it is.” They saw a greater potential. Of course it comes with risk, but isn’t that true of the important things in life? I Kings four verses 29-34 describe the wisdom of Solomon as “measureless as the sand on the seashore.” It says that he was wiser than any other man and his fame spread to all surrounding nations. He spoke 3,000 Proverbs and wrote over 1,000 songs. He described plant life and taught about animals, birds, reptiles and fish. All the kings of the world knew of Solomon’s wisdom. Where did he receive that wisdom? Verse one states, “God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight…” Are you believing for greater insight and understanding? Ask God, there just might be a heavenly download awaiting you.

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Encouragement, Leadership, Prayer

Listening to God, What’s the Potential?

images-11George Washington Carver was born in 1864, the son of illiterate slaves who were owned by a white couple with the surname of Carver. Because of his “Aunt Susan,” Mrs. Carver, he went to Simpson College and Iowa’s agricultural college. He eventually began teaching agriculture at Tuskegee Institute in Alabama after being invited there by Booker T. Washington in 1896. His research centered on introducing soil-enriching crops like peanuts and sweet potatoes to farmers. Carver accepted Christ when he was ten years old and read the Bible constantly. He taught and believed that nature was one way by which God spoke to man. He emphatically believed that his discoveries and his success were from communing with His heavenly Father.images-12

Imagine what God could reveal to you and I when we take the time to listen and commune with Him. The prophet Daniel recorded that while praying, the angel Gabriel came to him. Gabriel told Daniel that he had come, “…to give [him] insight and understanding.” (Daniel 9:22) What could we accomplish with heavenly wisdom and insight? What is the potential? At the very least, let’s start thinking in terms of expectancy. Perhaps we need to position ourselves for the “words” forthcoming and be ready to write them down. There are songs to be sung, papers to be presented, inventions to be created, businesses to begin, books to be written and wisdom to be spoken as we listen and receive from our heavenly Father. I am convinced that George Washington Carver was not the last person on earth to hear from God.

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Encouragement, Leadership, Uncategorized

A Struggle of Leadership

Many persons are under the impression their leaders do not struggle with everyday life temptations as they themselves do. Somehow, they have projected in their minds, that leaders have risen above the ability to miss the mark. Sadly then, these same leaders can begin to think similar thoughts which can eventually lead to a “pedestal” mentality.   Here’s a key for each and every leader out there: to admit that you as a leader struggle is to admit that you are actually human…is to admit that you do not have it all together. I John 1:8 says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” As a leader, do you walk in any kind of self-deception? Believe me, it’s a fair questions to ask yourself and to expect Holy Spirit to reveal an answer.

images-10Leaders are forgiven persons, but not perfect. You do not need to pretend that your private world is perfect. Recognize your capacity for failure, but also recognize failure is not the problem; it’s what we do with failure. Failure can actually bring you to the end of the performance lie; give yourself permission to fail. Then, allow the failure to launch you into a path of personal healing. Embrace the place you are, while at the same time remembering God is taking you somewhere new in your leadership capacity.

 

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Uncategorized

How Competitive Are You?

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Mark Miller, VP of Chic-fil-A wrote in a recent blog, “Perhaps more than anything else, broadly and accurately defining your competition will impact your thinking. When Coke decided a few years ago, their competition was not limited to other soft drink manufactures, rather, their true competition was all the beverages consumed globally on a daily basis by every man, woman and child, it changed their view of their business. Today, it’s not just about Coke, Diet Coke and Sprite – Coke has over 500 brands and sells more than 1.9 BILLION servings a day. This would not be the case if Coke thought Pepsi was their only competitor.”

Who or what is your competitor? Are you competing with a sibling, a co-worker, a fellow student, a church staff member, the local mega church or a neighbor? This type of competing also involves comparing. Perhaps your eyes and your mind are on the wrong person(s). The Bible reveals there is a thief who has come to rob, steal and finally destroy you. As long as the evil one can misappropriate your focus and attention on another person, he can keep you from focusing on who your real competitor actually is. Satan is competing for your soul along with the souls and spirits of the ones you feel you are competing with. Competition through a friendly game of tennis is great, but competition that leads to comparison with others is a huge negative. In fact, Paul said that we are unwise to compare ourselves, either we will become prideful or suffer from feelings of insignificance (I Corinthians 10:12).

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Encouragement, Leadership, Small Groups, Training, Uncategorized

Encountering Risky Business Through the Four P’s

images-6 (Note: I am sending this blog out early due to taking some vacation time next week.) Wanting to follow-up on last weeks post, I thought it appropriate to share four types of risk to steer clear of. I am unsure where some of these originated from, but I have used them for years in attempting to help others in their personal life. I have urged many to stay away from: people of risk; places of risk; possessions of risk; and processes of risk. What do I mean?

Often as a young believer, it is difficult to discern who to hang out with, old friends with bad habits or all new relationships. Initially, it might be advisable to stay away from those persons who are risky to your personal growth and change. Identifying persons of risk can eliminate being talked out of new life patterns. A place of risk is a pretty obvious one. In other words, for now stay clear of those establishments that allowed and promoted your former life-style of sin. Possessions of risk are a bit tougher to discern or even do away with. In Acts chapter 19, it was discovered that many new believers had been involved in sorcery. The new converts made a large bonfire and threw their sorcery scrolls into the fire. They eliminated many possessions of risk. Today this may include books/magazines, music CD’s or even computer games.

Lastly, it is important to consider processes of risk. Process is the connection to our thoughts. For example, prior to becoming a Christian our process of thought when being verbally attacked might have been inordinate anger or running away. Both became familiar and established life patterns, but both of these can be risky due to the fact that we might not be processing truthfully. As the word of God is received and acted upon, our responses will begin to change because our thought processes encounter truth and truth will set us free from former life patterns of risk. Which of the four P’s are you working on?

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Encouragement, Small Groups

Grocery Store Lessons

Have you ever noticed the difference in your grocery bill when you go shopping for food hungry as compared to shopping right after you consumed a satisfying meal?  When you’re hungry, everything looks good followed by lots of extras thrown into your shopping cart.  When your gut is full and satisfied, nothing looks very special and rarely do items jump out at you.  Noticeably, you are not fooled by the colorful posters or the, “Buy three, get one free” offers.  “Three…I don’t even want one,” you tell yourself.  You have no appetite and so grocery shopping is simply a necessary exercise.  Without an appetite, your brain is not sending signals to your eyes which otherwise would be busy scanning to and fro for what might taste good immediately.  Your mind knows your stomach is full and satisfied and the need for sustenance is turned off.

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Now let’s say your private sin issue is lust of the flesh and you find yourself in the middle of an adult bookstore.  Your eyes are taking in all of the skin exposed in magazines and movies and your brain is in overload recording all of the images.  It is a feeding frenzy of lust and your flesh is hungry for more.  You go deeper into the store where you find the “best of the best,” feeding your soul like it is starved to death…emaciated.  But back up.  If you were “full” rather than depleted would you even hunger for such filth?  Would you have sought out such a seedy, unclean and defiling place?  If your spirit was full of the spirit of Christ and you fully knew His love, approval and acceptance would your lust-filled hunger be satisfied and would this need be turned off?  You and I choose to fill these natural appetites with God or with ungodly, sin-filled desires.  Proverbs says an empty stomach drives us on (Proverbs 16:26b).  What drives you?  What are you passionately hungry for?

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