Author Archives: calledtogether

Encouragement, Leadership

The Gift of Repentance

God knew I needed refreshing while on a two month sabbatical from work/ministry responsibilities.  I knew I needed refreshment.  Little did I know, however, that it would begin with repentance.  To repent means to do an about-face, to turn away from and to pursue a different direction.  Was there some major sin in my life, no, but any shortcoming, any missing the mark should be major to us.  The Father was gently nudging and I was determined to listen, to hear, to believe Him and to respond.  I was acting upon a verse of scripture that He was highlighting to me.  Acts chapter three verse 19 says, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord…”

I have been a Christ follower for 42 years and I sense there are seasons of my life where I simply forget about the gift of repentance.  It’s a gift because following true repentance I am then in right standing with God, not due to my own effort.  I know I am forgiven through one act of grace on the cross.  I love what Paul wrote to us in Colossians chapter one about this gift.  He said that at one time we were alienated from God, we were enemies, due to our behavior, but then came reconciliation through Christ’s death to, …”present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.”  Wow, you and I are holy in His sight, without blemish and free from the accusations of the evil one.  Repentance, what a gift.

Standard
Encouragement, Leadership, Prayer

Back From a Sabbath Rest

Two months of being totally out of the loop from those whom you serve in ministry or your work place can be a long time.  Eight weeks ago my last blog was that I would disappear from the blogosphere and engage in a healthy Sabbath rest.  It has been an excellent God time, rest time, journal time, training time, reading time, prayer time, centering time and listening time.  I do not regret one single day other than a few unexpected distractions.  Thank you for your patience and allowing me to take this time away.  The following are some of the things I learned or rediscovered on this sabbatical:

 

  • Sabbaths are vital and spoken into our lives here on earth by our heavenly Father.  They are God’s answer to self-depletion.
  • I rediscovered and was forced to face how much of my life is connected to my work, how much I think about it, worry about personal situations and pray for those I serve.
  • I am not the answer.
  • It was refreshing for my Father to gently work me through areas of repentance.
  • It became necessary to push through areas of distraction.
  • How easy and natural abandonment, rejection and un-forgiveness are while how supernatural is the cross, forgiveness and the depth of God’s love and acceptance.
  • How natural fathering/mothering impedes or enhances spiritual fathering/mothering.

There were more areas of a personal nature vital to my own self-discovery, personal wholeness and deepening faith.  Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made to benefit people, and not people to benefit the Sabbath.  And I, the Son of Man, am master even of the Sabbath.”  (Mark 2:27, 28 NLT)  Thank you, Jesus, for being Lord of my Sabbath.

Standard
Encouragement, Leadership

Have You Taken a Sabbath Lately?

Throughout the Old Testament, Sabbaths were observed on different days and observed for different lengths.  A Sabbath was actually from God or designed by God for mankind.  No work was to be done on a Sabbath outside of essential duties like feeding the livestock.  Under the Law the penalty for breaking the Sabbath was a mild one – death.  (It seems there was this random guy gathering wood on a Sabbath and wondering what to do with him the Israelites inquired of the Lord.  God’s reply was that he must die outside the camp – Numbers 15.  Yikes!)  The word Sabbath in Hebrew means to take an intermission or cessation from work.  It is a repose, a desist from exertion in order to seek the Lord and God was quite serious about it.

Jesus said that man was not made for the Sabbath; the Sabbath was made for man (Mark 2:23-28).  The Living Bible states it this way, “But the Sabbath was made to benefit man, and not man to benefit the Sabbath.”  Every creature God created needs rest, a cessation period.  When God said that six days we will work but rest on the seventh He included the hard-working ox and donkey too (Exodus 23:12).  Even today, a wise farmer learns the principle of letting fields be fallow and rest for a season.   No one would be productive working 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Even Jesus rested from His labor.  (See Matthew 14:23; Mark 6:31)

A Sabbath is God’s idea; He instituted it.  The IBM Company, along with others, actually has a sabbatical policy.  I remember as a child that my neighbor’s father would receive a sabbatical from Bethlehem Steel every so many years.   From the Church of God Pastoral Program book comes this statement, “There would seem to be no doubt that many pastors who left ministry would never have made that decision if they had been given the opportunity for some time away from the pressures.  It should also be pointed out that other members of the pastoral family share those same needs to a greater or lesser degree.  Sabbatical planning should always include the family.”

Joe Reynolds, CEO of Red Frog Events has instituted a sabbatical policy for his company and says this about sabbaticals:  Everyone needs to recharge. Frogs (his employees) can disconnect for a full month every five years. A month away allows enough time to come back hungry to tackle the next big project.  Appreciation goes a long way. I give tremendous latitude, sabbaticals included, and it’s appreciated. People who love their job perform better.  They gain perspective.  It helps bring fresh thoughts to the table on your next project.  Valuable family or friend time. Red Frogger’s flat-out work hard. A month away every five years allows time to reconnect with a loved one.  Going outside of your comfort zone elicits unconventional ideas. Being away for a month breed’s creativity. My best ideas come during extended time away.

DOVE International, where I serve, has a sabbatical policy and it is now my time to take that break from normal ministerial and writing duties.  I have written about this subject to you because I am about to embark upon an eight week Sabbath in order to rest, receive some training, “breed creativity,” and hear God for the coming years.  For that reason, I will be back to writing my blog and communicating with you once again this coming September with, hopefully, fresh insight and revelation.  Stay healthy and have a blessed summer!

Standard
Encouragement, Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital

Blindness is Temporary; Love is Forever

This past weekend I had the privilege of hanging out with a very special couple.  The wife, due to diabetes complications, is now completely blind.  She retired a year ago from public school teaching and then her husband followed her into retirement this past January, partly to care for her.  Presently both of them work tirelessly at a local church serving as elders.  This special woman of God does not complain, has not become angry at God or doctors and continues to show a servant’s heart in all she does.  This special man of God, a long-term, committed husband, is spending much of his daily time serving and practically caring for his wife.  So naturally, my wife and I were inquisitive and wondering how life is for them these days.  We had to ask some questions.

After a few questions, while they were holding hands, the wife replied, “We’re closer than ever.”  She then said, “This has not stopped our love for one another and we care about each other even more.”  “Sometimes he [her husband] forgets me at the restaurant when he goes to pay the bill, so I just sit there and wait until he returns, he apologizes and then he leads me out to the car.”  They both laugh out loud when recounting their repeated story.  The wife shared that her physical blindness has caused her to be more dependent upon the Lord while her husband states that he had to go from being a “loner” to interacting more with people as he cares for his wife and her relationships.  You spoke those words, as did I, “In sickness and in health…”  We have no idea of the future, but we know that if we allow our love to grow a small portion daily, when we are faced with the unexpected, our love will be intact and we’ll be able to handle the stress of what we may someday face.

Standard
Marriage, Postmarital

I’m Giving Up on My Marriage, It’s too Easy!

Have you ever heard of someone saying marriage is just too easy?  I haven’t.  Author Gary Thomas recently wrote, “Beauty is often birthed in struggle.”  When we struggle for or through something we often tend to appreciate it far more.  I was working full-time, going to graduate school full-time, and being a husband and father while at the same time building our home with a friend – yes, literally pounding the nails.  It was one of the most challenging and demanding times of my life.  But the rewards, well, they were great.   As tough as it was, I didn’t walk away from any of my responsibilities because they were too difficult.

Imagine your Christian walk being trouble-free, without challenge and a life of ease.  While the desire for ease is often a dream, rarely is it an opportunity.  But, should it be?  Struggles make us stronger.  Challenges create perseverance.  A forced dependence upon our Creator through prayer and a growing relationship matures us.  Otherwise we remain unseasoned and immature.  The same is true of marriage.  When it gets tough and there are very real problems, God does not desire to rescue us so we do not face them, but rather He desires to walk us through them victoriously, maturing our marriages in the process.  In reality we should be thanking God for the opportunities in which marriage allows us to grow and mature.

Standard
Encouragement, Singles

Living Life as a Single is a Godly Option

Throughout the Old Testament there was no option of living single.  I’ve been told that there was not even a Hebrew word for bachelor.  During this time, young Israelites married early and had children.  It is what was expected.  Perhaps most who married were actually teenagers when they spoke their vows entering into the covenant of marriage.  But, the New Testament provides another option.

One day Jesus was being questioned about divorce and where He stood on Moses allowing divorce.  Jesus replies that divorce was not God’s idea (it was not this way from the beginning), but man’s idea, out of the hardness of his heart.  He goes on to say something extremely radical for those who lived under the law.  Jesus actually provided an alternative to marriage, something that did not exist in Israel.  He said that some would renounce marriage because of the kingdom of heaven (Mt. 19:11,12).  In other words, Jesus allowed singleness for the sake of the gospel of the kingdom.  The Pharisees must have been scratching their heads over that statement.

If you’re still single, you are not a half a person.  You are a whole person dedicated to kingdom building without the distraction of marriage and a family.  Go for it, be mobile, be committed, and be passionate and radical for your King.  If you desire to be married, you desire a good thing, but stay in the game of living for Jesus 24/7 and watch what He does for you.  He is the best matchmaker and He knows far more about you, what you desire and what you need than eHarmony.

Standard
Marriage, Postmarital, Premarital

Why Are We so Different?

Have you ever wondered why you married someone who is NOT like you?  We enjoy taking couples through premarital and hearing about how they just love the same music, have the same taste in clothing or both share a love of roller coasters.  Believe me, my wife and I have heard it all.  But after they say, “I do” none of these “loves” actually amount to much.  What they begin to discover is how different they really are.  Two become one as we speak our vows to God and to one another.  However, it is in the actual becoming one when we learn to embrace the differences.

It may take two years or more to discover that those “differences” are actually positives and not negatives.  While we may quarrel over them, a difference of opinion or a different view on things is actually a positive.  An example from my marriage is that I am the one who tends to see ahead, push for change and take risks.  I married someone who is not a risk taker and loves the security of things staying the same.  So how does that work as a positive?  Well, it took us some time to figure it out, but eventually we discovered something that we have since carried in our hearts.  That is, typically I have the vision and my wife carries the timing for that vision.  Vision is great, but timing is everything!

Standard
Marriage, Postmarital

Communication is More Than Just Words

In our book, Called Together, we have a premarital section on communication.  It’s the longest chapter in the book.  Within those pages there is a quote from  author Norm Wright that goes like this, “Communication is: 7 percent words (content), 38 percent attitude (tone of voice) and 55 percent body language.”  Believe me, your children know to respond quickly when they hear their first, middle and last name at heightened volume while you are moving toward them with something in hand.  They understand these percentages!

In a marriage, we can say the right words and a totally different message is received.  For example, say your wife beats you home from work and she begins thinking about how she has missed you and in her mind begins to formulate her greeting to you.  She awaits full of anticipation.  But you had a pretty rough day and have not completely made the transition from foreman to husband as yet.  You walk in the door with your (proverbial) foreman hat still on as your wife moves toward you, smiling and saying how nice it is to see you.  She goes on to say that see missed you and she loves you.   To all of this you say, “Yeah, yeah, I love you too, where’s the mail?”  Did your wife catch or even hear those “I love you “ words tucked in the middle of that sentence?  I doubt it.  The next time you’re tempted to respond glibly, stop what you are doing, look at your spouse, listen to him or her and then respond in kind with tone of voice and body language all adding to the message.

Standard
Marriage, Postmarital

I Slept but my Heart was Awake

This phrase grabbed me as I was reading the amazing book titled Song Of Songs, “I slept but my heart was awake.”  (If you’re unfamiliar with this book, you’ll find it in the middle of your Bible.)  Beautiful thought isn’t it?  Our God, the God of marriage, of relationship between a man and a woman, the Creator of sexuality wrote this.  This awesome book reads like a sensual novel; a love story like no other.  Its purity and its prose are unashamedly open and passionate about two lovers.  Can you feel the anticipation in this verse – physically asleep, but emotionally awake?  Solomon then writes, “Listen! My lover is knocking…” Ah, the answer to the much-anticipated arrival.

Some time ago, I was returning from an extended international trip away from my wife who was now picking me up at the airport.  I jumped in the car as she retrieved me from the curb and we were like two giddy kids trying to catch up for lost time together.  Mary was so excited that she drove right through a stop sign and then stopped at a green light.  We just laughed at ourselves and enjoyed the moment.  Every night while gone from our bed we were thinking about and anticipating the return, our hearts were awake…waiting…listening…watching for the long-awaited “knock.”  Is your heart “awake” toward your lover?

Standard
Encouragement, Leadership, Marriage, Postmarital

Balancing Life’s Priorities III

There are some concluding areas of life’s priorities that I would like to discuss.  We’ve talked about loving God first, along with loving our spouse and ourselves.  Then we looked at how Jesus maintained His priorities and finally I think it’s vital for us to “check our gauges.”  Years ago cars were made with actual gauges on their dashboards.  These gauges read the oil pressure, the temperature, the vacuum and the amps.  The driver was the only computer on board and monitoring all the gauges was of utmost importance.  As higher demands are placed on marriages and families, our gauges will be indicators of our operating condition.  We simply cannot run on empty.  We must have times of replenishment and disconnection.  The following is a list of areas to look at within your own life, marriage and family in maintaining life’s priorities:

1.  Are you continually serving outside your gift areas?  Paul told Timothy to “Watch your life…closely…”  (I Timothy 4:16)

2.  Pace yourself.  No one can maintain a full-time sprint.

3.  Learn to say “no.” God is not impressed when you say yes to something He has not told you to do or be involved with.

4.  Watch your balance of: work, rest, play and worship.

5.  Take your annual vacation days along with your weekly Sabbath.

6.  Maintain an interest in something fun where you disconnect and have down time.

7.  Keep reading; keep studying; keep learning in order to keep growing.

8.  Learn to share deeply and pray intimately with your spouse and do not avoid counsel when needed.

9.  Maintain dates with your spouse and children.

10. Evaluate.  Take time to evaluate your marriage, family, finances, work, exercise, down time – life as you know it.

Standard